how did you get diagnosed or if your not, when did you know?

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After looking back on the couple pages I wrote answering this: I'll summarize.
- I was blissfully ignorant and happy about life until about 30.
- Then I almost died and I starting thinking about my life and past more than I should have.
- I started becoming increasingly lonely and depressed.
- I tried a psychologist, behavioral therapy: it failed.
- I tried antidepressants for a couple months: they failed.
- I cut myself off from almost all human contact for about a year and spent much time in self-reflection.
- I diagnosed myself with all sorts of potential psychological (e.g. avoidant personality and Love Shyness) and physical things (e.g parasites living in my brain) but was too afraid to talk to any doctors.
- Eventually a suicidal state/episode shocked me enough to go to the emergency room.
- I had typed out everything I suspected because I never trusted myself to communicate effectively or the doctors to ask the right questions.
- Eventually the emergency room psychiatrist told me he suspected strongly that I had Asperger's or HFA, but official diagnosis was not in my means, so he told me to look it up online and visit help forums to see if I recognized similarities between my and other Aspie's life experiences.
- I read everything I could online and in books and everything made sense: so I'm 90% certain I'm an Aspie.
- My current psychiatrist has not commented much on my calling myself an Aspie yet. I suspect he agrees with the other psychiatrist's comments. He asked me why I thought I had Asperger's. At one instance I made a comment about how to explain to other people that you have a broken brain and he responded by saying that Asperger's is not a disorder but a difference (part of a neurodiversity) and said probably a good percentage of university professors are in the same part of the spectrum. [I later made it clear to him that my comment about a 'broken brain' was in reference to depression and suicide, rather than my AS; I don't think any psychiatrist would argue with that or they would be out of business!] My GP wrote me a letter about my "likely diagnosis" and told me I should take it to an appointment with the university 'Access and Diversity' department.
- So I guess you could say depression and whatever physical thing that is still bothering me now made me aware of many of my Aspie traits and the doctors seem to agree; but I have not had an official diagnosis.

I always knew there was something "off" about me, ever since I was a kid.

It wasn't until a little over a year ago that I realized it was most likely AS.
A coworker, who was going to school for psychology, asked me if I had Aspergers. I didn't really know what it was, and said so. She started listing the common symptoms, and even before she talked about the specific symptoms I showed, I realized there was something to it.
A couple hours later I texted my friend who is an OT and worked with kids with autism. After a couple of texts she said she thought for years that I may be aspie. She sent me the link to the RODS aspie quiz. I took that and scored a 131AS and 70NT.

After that, I spent literally every spare moment for a week reading about AS. Usually staying up to 3AM reading about it. There hasn't been one day since where I haven't spent at least an hour or two reading about autism in general or reading and posting here on WP.

I am not diagnosed and I don't know if I have Aspgerger's (my diagnosis is social anxiety and depression) but people in general and support workers I have had either keep asking me if I have it or insist I do...

As everyone keeps on about it and directing me to Asperger's resources I decided to check it out.

I certainly have traits of it, very pronounced ones, but as to whether I have the actual disorder is another matter entirely.

I do know I had developmental issues as a child (advanced moral development and advanced development in other areas coupled with emotional immaturity, over sensitivity (physical and emotional) and a nature that was 'too idealistic') which caused me to have social problems and I also had a quirky personality with odd habits to go with it (ie I collected bank forms instead of playing with dolls) but, as I was never officially tested for an ASD, I can't be sure I have one. All I can so is suspect it at this stage.

What I don't have is a love of routine although I do like certain things to be the same and don't deal with sudden change well. I also don't have rituals as such, just repetitive behaviours I enjoy and so on and so forth. I also can't abide living by the clock or to lists of pointless rules that have nothing to do with protecting people or their safety for example. Those kinds of things make me feel suffocated whereas I prefer to feel free...(as long as what I am doing does not hurt anyone or impinge on their rights as a human being).

When it comes to social stuff, I can read some body language and social cues but not others. My ability to read social stuff is not completely missing, it is just patchy. Mostly I struggle with the way people think as to me their thinking is illogical or just bizarre. I also adore my hobbies and would rather being busying myself with those than making social chit chat. I have little desire for a large social circle although I would like a life companion and a close friend to enjoy spending some time with. I don't enjoy socialising just for the sake of it though.

The problems with finding a life companion though are vast. Firstly my quirks are generally misunderstood, I get upset when my love of sameness is disrupted too often, I don't like sudden change in certain ways, I am stiffled when they start insisting I need more of a routine (I become miserable as I feel trapped by it, it chokes me) and when I fall in love the person I have fallen in love with can become my 'new' special interest and that can be suffocating for them. I think that 15 texts in 15 minutes because I have become over excited by talking to them is a bit much maybe not to mention my endless desire for cuddles and a high sex drive lol.

Also I tend to need my hobby time and this can be an issue for them, especially when they insist I should be socialising when I don't feel like it or am too tired and don't have any social energy. They seem to think I am depressed. I am not, I am just happy to potter around on my own at those times. I used to be forced to socialise when I was a child at times when I was happiest playing by myself...it distressed me then and it distresses me now. I get most upset by it....

Not that I never feel like socialising, I do, it is just that I prefer to choose when. I am not always in social mode and socialising can be draining for me at such times, so much so that having to force my brain to make social chit chat can actually be a trigger for my migraines!

Eventually I flee from the relationship because it makes me horribly unhappy to be in.

They can be so terribly suffocating and they can cause much unnecessary stress all because society and many of the people in it cannot accept individual difference and respect a persons preferences. Society also seems to be obsessed with social status, power, greed, materialism etc all at the expense of the human soul.

I would prefer a more natural way of life doing the things I am passionate about when possible and I would prefer a partner who wants a similar thing. They would also need to be accepting of my individuality just as I would be accepting of theirs. I also do not want to live with anyone as I prefer to retain my own living space. I am happy to commit to them in a loving monogamous relationship though, but I'd prefer it if we had separate abodes.

So far, no luck.

I digressed...sorry.

I was diagnosed with AS, OCD, and Dysthymia last year. It came about as a result of my decision to seek professional help for depression and anxiety, both of which had become severe to the point that I had given myself an ultimatum: suicide or help. One or the other. I could not continue living as I had been; of that I was, and am, certain.

Initially went to a general practitioner at a walk-in clinic,. Was started on meds and referred for psych eval. Waited some months on waiting list. Did psych eval. Was referred for neuropsychological testing. Another waiting list. Did testing. Two or three weeks later I was informed of the results. I started cognitive behavioural therapy with a therapist. Continued to see therapist for about nine months. Therapist and I agreed that I had made good progress and no additional CBT was required. Today I continue with my meds and feel pretty good about the changes I have made to my life through this process. I think that I will be okay. For today and tomorrow. Always one day at a time. I can manage that.

Last fall, I had a stressful life event which led to a two-week shutdown where I basically became a zombie, and I couldn't leave my room, or return calls, and failed to register for classes at the beginning of the Fall semester, so my university forced me to go to the mental health center for suicide watch. I didn't have the energy to carry out these plans at that time, so I have no idea why they did this.

At first, they thought it was bipolar disorder, but then, I got evaluated and then referred to a neuropsychiatrist to be screened for Asperger's. I got my diagnosis on the autism spectrum about a month later, in November 2012. I had no idea that ASD could be mild like in my case. I thought it was bipolar too and actually may still have that. But bipolar couldn't explain everything.