01 Apr 2013, 2:37 am
Callista wrote:
Maybe so, but if they only survive 98% of the time, then that's not surviving, is it? Our little 2% contribution makes for a better world. We may not be superior to them, but we're not inferior either.
I get read as arrogant sometimes. I forget that you're not supposed to say things like, "I know more than my professor about Subject X", or "My textbook is out of date; they got their facts wrong," because those things are above you in the hierarchy and you are supposed to pretend that you don't ever know more than they do, even though there are so many things to know that you are bound to know at least something they don't even if they are experts and you just studied the subject for fun. You're not supposed to say those things because people think that you believe that this makes you better than them, when in fact you are just saying something that is true, just like you might say, "I suck at tying my shoes," or, "I'm bad at doing group projects," and that would be true too. So if you talk about your strengths it's arrogant, but if you talk about your weaknesses it's normal, even if both things are facts.
I wish that weren't the case, so I wouldn't have to think about everything I say first to make sure it doesn't sound arrogant to somebody who thinks that being able to do something that somebody else can't do must make me superior to them. From my perspective, it doesn't. Human beings are too varied with too many skills that you can compare them on, so that pretty much everybody has something that they're better at than somebody else. And how would you pick which thing was important and which wasn't? You can't; it's entirely arbitrary. So I think we should be able to celebrate being good at something, without having other people think that we're being stuck up. I want to be able to say, "I'm pretty cool"--without it implying, "And you're not." I wish our culture allowed that. Because I think other people are pretty cool, too.
Also, this post is a good demonstration of the complex grammar involved in theory of mind. No wonder young autistics have trouble with it.
I get read as arrogant sometimes. I forget that you're not supposed to say things like, "I know more than my professor about Subject X", or "My textbook is out of date; they got their facts wrong," because those things are above you in the hierarchy and you are supposed to pretend that you don't ever know more than they do, even though there are so many things to know that you are bound to know at least something they don't even if they are experts and you just studied the subject for fun. You're not supposed to say those things because people think that you believe that this makes you better than them, when in fact you are just saying something that is true, just like you might say, "I suck at tying my shoes," or, "I'm bad at doing group projects," and that would be true too. So if you talk about your strengths it's arrogant, but if you talk about your weaknesses it's normal, even if both things are facts.
I wish that weren't the case, so I wouldn't have to think about everything I say first to make sure it doesn't sound arrogant to somebody who thinks that being able to do something that somebody else can't do must make me superior to them. From my perspective, it doesn't. Human beings are too varied with too many skills that you can compare them on, so that pretty much everybody has something that they're better at than somebody else. And how would you pick which thing was important and which wasn't? You can't; it's entirely arbitrary. So I think we should be able to celebrate being good at something, without having other people think that we're being stuck up. I want to be able to say, "I'm pretty cool"--without it implying, "And you're not." I wish our culture allowed that. Because I think other people are pretty cool, too.
Also, this post is a good demonstration of the complex grammar involved in theory of mind. No wonder young autistics have trouble with it.
Absolutely true.
I'm a brilliant aspie. It's not delusion: when I was tested at school I got the higher IQ in the whole course. That doens't mean that I don't have weaknesses. Of course I have, and they don't correspond exactly to the standard NT weaknesses.
If I talk openly about my strengths, since they're not standard, I'm arrogant. If I talk openly about my weaknesses, since they're not standard, I lack of self-steem. I even had somebody telling me (as an advice) that I was infatuated and without self-steem at the same time. Great logic, dude. Of course, I have learnt from those NT's advices: I don't talk openly anymore.
A friend of mine (very good friend, indeed) is often mad at me because 'I'm always right', and so, telling me off. [Last time she got mad at me, two days ago]. At the end... I'm always right [Last time I was right, euhhh, two days ago]. That makes her even crazier (something that I enjoy, I can't deny it
). But the issue is: does that mean that I'm f*****g brilliant? Well, of course I am, but that's not the cause. I'm usually right because I don't get emotionally involved in being right.
For me, facts are facts. Period. That's all. Everytime I debate with NTs I realize that most of them (not all) believe what they want to believe. It's like NTs have a construct about how things are, and they get emotionally attached to it. Any fact or reasoning that goes against it is conveniently filtered. If you detect something that is filtered and you focus on it during the debate so you force them to face the fact they're filtering, NTs usually get quite upset, and even lose their temper.
I use to say that, as aspie, I have my filters broken. That's quite right: I feel that any filtering system normal people have, I don't. That is a weakness, since those filter exist probably due to some evolutive reason: they probably makes you less vulnerable. Indeed, I'm quite vulnerable (not standard weakness, it's a fact, I don't have any problem to admit it). But, at the same time, I'm quite inmune to self-deception (not standard strength).
And NTs are not usually wrong because they're stupid (well, ok, some are). They're usually wrong because they're self-deceptive.
01 Apr 2013, 3:32 am
01 Apr 2013, 3:42 am
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