Am I autistic?

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I'm not sure if I should be posting this as a new thread, so go ahead and let me know where I should add this to if there is a more appropriate place.

I know that going to a professional is the best way to find out whether you are autistic or not but I just wanted to get the opinions of the folks on here on this.

I think that I might have AS or be on the Broader Autistic Spectrum. For a long time i've felt guilty for thinking that and thought maybe i'm over-reacting so it takes a lot for me to actually talk to people about this.

Here is a description of my traits...

Fear/Anxiety of loud noises (planes/helicopters/thunder/loud mechanical sounds) When I was a teenager I had a lot of issues with loud noises. I use to have meltdown and panic attacks when hearing these. I also don't like large busy/crowded places.

Poor social skills
When talking to people I feel like i'm on a timer and I have to say something that makes sense, and if I don't get the words out in time i've failed.
Will leave social events without telling anybody due to anxiety.
Avoid people that I like because I know that I can't communicate with them properly.
Avoid social situations so that I can avoid my behaviour being misinterpreted and the pain that comes from this.
Have been described as cold/distant
Have been described as odd/eccentric
I am a keen observer of people and remember that I trained myself to mimic others. I feel like others have a set of rules that I don't understand naturally and I have to pretend.


Body Language:
Although I do understand obvious facial expressions/body language, I don't appear to pick up on more subtle cues that other people do.
I give off the wrong signals with inefficient body language and facial expression. Most of the time my facial expression is neutral and people react to this as though it is unusual although I am not aware of it.

Intellectualisation:
Very interested in Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy and highly intellectual and so can understand psychological theories very well but find it difficult to apply this.

Special interest-
I have phases of obsessiveness with different subjects. I will spend all of my free time finding out about the subject. When not at home I use my Iphone to read on the subject. I will become an expert and then lose interest. I'm not sure how this fits into autism/whether it fits in at all.

For example over christmas I was obsessed with egyptian mythology and ancient civilisations. I spent whole days just reading about and watching videos about this. After christmas I became obsessed with healthy eating and became a vegan. I became obsessed with veganism and would spend most of my free time finding out about nutrition. I made lists of all the different vitamins and all the veg you can get these from. My housemates thought this was very odd. My obsessions change but I generally always have some form of obsession. At the moment I am obsessed with aspergers syndrome, I find it fascinating!

I like to escape into my own little world. It is my way of coping.

Memory: I have always had a good memory and will remember details and events long after others have forgotten. On many occasions I have remembered anecdotes friends have told me long after they have forgotten, even though it was something they actually did and I wasn't even there!

When I am introduced to people sometimes I will remember having met them and the exact time and place even if it was years ago and they will have no memory of it. I say this when we are introduced and they will just look at me like i'm from another planet.

I am androgenous and don't see gender in the way other people seem to. I have always been a bit boyish and done boyish things. I am also bisexual.

I always feel like i'm in my own little world. People sometimes think that I am on drugs. I have gotten used to saying “sorry i'm not really with it today”, when the truth is i'm never with it. I am in my own little world.

Literal thinking:
Although I do understand a lot of phrases and humour I also do often reply to many questions literally when they were meant to get me to say more in a conversation and I do often take the things that people say literally but not all the time. I am kind of half and half on this one. I have learned to understand the way NTs speak as I have gotten older.

I generally assume that people mean what they say. Like if someone says “I like your top”, I think that they actually mean it. Apparently often people don't mean it, they just say things like that because it's polite and that's what you do in social situations. I only learned that recently and i'm 26. I don't really understand that. If I say “I like your top”, it's because I mean it.

I feel and have been described as childlike and naïve and also like I am 'floating' around. People are often quite surprised when they find I am much older than they thought I was. People often assume I am 19-20 when I am actually 26.

I am an easy target for manipulation as I generally believe what people say, and have always been quite gullible.

I was a gifted student at school and I was also a very anxious child. When I was 9 years old I got counselling because I was so tense. I remember getting very worried if I was going to be late for school to the point where I would shout at my mother and sister because I couldn't stand being just a few minutes late.

I don't do any stimming and don't remember that when I was younger.

I have never had many friends, although I do have a few close friends. I have always been a loner and quite isolated. I have had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember.

When I was younger I do remember ordering a lot of my toys and being described as being very methodical, but I also remember playing with other children. When I was an older child I would play sports with the boys instead of doing girly things. I'm not sure how this fits.

I don't remember having problems with speech apart from speaking quietly and having a bit of a stutter. I don't think that there was a delay in language development. I was a very good learner in most subjects. I was very conscientious and took pride in my work.

I have always been quiet and shy and find social situations very difficult.

I am very creative spend a lot of time doing music. I feel most at ease when i'm performing on stage or on my own reading about things (I much prefer non-fiction to fiction).

Welcome . It sounds like you have quite a few traits in common with ASD, you could try taking a few non-diagnostic tests to see how you compare to others. This thread has most of them, http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt113459.html and a new one was posted recently, http://www.aspietests.org/raads/index.php . A number of members both diagnosed and suspected have results in their signature.

Well, you have my vote. I think there is a good chance you are an aspie. Not that my opinion means anything. You will need a diagnosis by a professional who really knows about this stuff, to be sure.

But the online tests are a good indicator.

Probably not, but could be.

Last edited by Highlander852456 on 05 Apr 2013, 8:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

To me, you seem to be a clear cut Aspie. Normally I say "oh, it's impossible to judge online", but you definitely seem to be autistic. In particular, your description of your special interests and literal thinking make me think this way. Your social issues could "just" be social anxiety, but when looked at in combination with the other things you would seem to be an Aspie.

Do you have any sensory issues other than loud noises? Common ones are labels in clothes, flashing lights, and the textures of foods.

Hi, thanks for the replies. I have taken some of the tests xMistrox suggested and according to them i'm on the borderline. The AQ test scored 33 where the cut off point for autism is 32.

I don't have any other sensory issues. It's odd just being in the grey area between one thing and another. Even if it's just mild i'd prefer to know so that I can finally make sense of these experiences. I think I will try to find a professional.

How/when did you guys find out you were on the spectrum? (i'm assuming you are)

Yes, you definitely sound like an Aspie to me. If you're looking for a diagnosis, then it sounds to me as though you'd have a pretty good chance of obtaining one. I know a few Aspies with less prominent traits than yours who have received a diagnosis.

I am not diagnosed, but am currently seeing a therapist. Her recommendation was to work with my curret issues and think it over before taking the battery of tests, so I am going to follow that and try to take the tests next month possibly. In the newest online test posted I scored as such: http://www.aspietests.org/raads/questio ... cale=en_GB I scored almost exact for males diagnosed with ASD on both communication and social issues, but beyond even that on sensory and interests, so I feel it is accurate, but I might have some abnormal problems there... I tend to also "master" a subject and move on to something else, one of my favorites from the last year was researching creatures with different metal-based bloods after seeing a documentary on horseshoe crabs (their blood is actually used medically to test for sterilization of shots, etc.). Having past records or parental input will likely help if you want to seek a diagnosis, otherwise it may be difficult depending on the doctor.

Honestly it's amazing how similar you are to me. I'm also a 26 yr old female, perhaps that's some of it. My sister recently got an AS diagnosis, so I'm now fairly certain that I'm also AS. And honestly if I am, I'd say you are too.

It's funny you mention the memory thing, I'm like this but I've taken to pretending as though I don't remember meeting the person before because undoubtedly they don't remember me.

Really? I don't know anyone that similar to me... What do you do for a living? What are your interests?

I've done more research on it and I think i'm maybe just on the borderline or Broader Autism Phenotype.

I spoke to my mum and she said when I was young I did use to order things a lot but I never threw tantrums or got overly upset if this was disrupted. Apparently I used to play with other kids as much as any other kid does and did engage in pretend play. That information would point to me being outside of the spectrum. Maybe i'm just a weird aloof intellectual.

I do work with autistic people, and have always felt like can understand that way of thinking and experiencing the world because I have what appear to be milder traits myself.

You sound almost exactly like me. I'm undiagnosed but when I talked about it in another thread, what I got was, "Big whoop, everybody and their mother thinks they have aspergers. Go seek a professional." Or at least that's how it felt. But anyway I identify with all the things you listed, except I don't get panic attacks over loud noises (they just bother me some), and I'm outwardly very girly. I think I'll go take those tests. My obsession right now is learning all I can about Aspergers and I'm trying to find other women like me.

That isn't true, that doesn't exclude you from the spectrum.

Only a doctor can tell you that, if you want to be evaluated you should talk to your GP and get a referral.

Last edited by DVCal on 07 Apr 2013, 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nah, we get this all the time.

Absolutely, if the professional is qualified. But I think it makes sense to do research on your own, at least to determine whether the problem is severe enough to warrant professional attention.

Okay, you have some anxiety issues; that can be autism-related or not. Sensory problems are related to autism or can happen on their own due to sensory processing disorder. But you say this was much worse when you were younger--it may no longer be a problem, if you've improved enough in dealing with them.

These are all associated with social anxiety or social phobia. It's common for autistic people to have social anxiety or social phobia--but it's also common for neurotypicals to have those problems. So this is ambiguous.

This is associated with mental disorders, but also with totally harmless eccentricity. Eccentric folks don't have mental disorders and don't need treatment.

This is a statement very commonly made by autistic people--that you have to learn the rules that everyone else seems to know.

Commonly found with autism.

Unrelated to autism.

Commonly found with autism.

Strangely enough, this is unrelated to autism. Autistic people may dissociate, but so do neurotypicals--even healthy neurotypicals.

There's anecdotal evidence that autistics remember details better than NTs, but this isn't really major evidence.

Many autistics have the opposite problem: Being unable to remember faces. It's called face-blindness or prosopagnosia, and can be so severe that we don't recognize best friends or even family, especially out of context. More commonly, it takes a few weeks of study to memorize a face.

That's normal for NTs, but somewhat more common among autistics.

This is common with ADHD... "spacing out" like that, not being with it, etc. People thinking you are "on drugs" might have to do with your atypical body language, but it's a misconception that can affect anybody who's even just eccentric.

Autistic trait. Problems with conversational subtext are common on the spectrum.

Common on the spectrum, but also common off it. Not too great an indicator either way.

Autistic trait, but can be found off the spectrum too.

Meh, not too useful. Anxiety and giftedness are not really related to autism--autistics can be anxious, but so can NTs, and there are both gifted NTs and autistics.

This would be an example of dependence on routine and predictability. It is an autistic trait, but also a trait of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (the "perfectionist" personality disorder).

Most autistics stim, especially if they have sensory problems.

Having a few close friends is a trait of the introverted personality, and is healthy and not something to worry about. Being an isolated loner can be due to depression and anxiety.

Organizing your toys, putting them in patterns and lines, is an autistic traits. Playing team sports, however, takes a lot of social coordination and is not something autistic people would generally be good at--which doesn't mean they wouldn't enjoy it, but they wouldn't be very good at it (in general).

mostly irrelevant, but it does imply that you are focused on details, cognitively, and that tends to be an autistic trait.

Trait of social anxiety disorder.

Autistic people have been said to have little creativity, but I believe this is untrue and many professionals question it. Preferring non-fiction to fiction is common on the spectrum--but of course, NTs read non-fiction too.

So are you autistic? Ehh... maybe. The real question is: Do you have problems that aren't being taken care of? Do you need extra help? You mention depression and a lot of anxiety, and those are certainly going to hold you back. You certainly have some autistic traits; maybe knowing about them might help you better structure a treatment plan for your depression and anxiety disorder. I think it would be worth it to talk to a psychologist about this, along the lines of-- "I think I might have some autistic traits, and I think if I knew more about myself I would have an easier time recovering from the depression I'm dealing with right now. If I have Asperger's, I'd like to know, because knowing how I think and learn would probably help me to learn better. I am wondering if it would be useful to get an evaluation."

You sound very Aspie.

Girl Aspies are known to sometimes play with boys instead of girls, because boys are less talkative and gossipy than girls and so have less social expectations on their peers. My eldest did this for a while at school.

Don't worry about not having every single trait, and stims and having friends are not diagnostic criteria! As it's a spectrum everyone on it has their own blend of traits and not everyone has every single one. You also still have your own personality and environmental influences.

You definitely need to get assessed. I can see from your spelling you are in the UK? If so, please click the link to a thread in my signature on how to go about getting assessed.

I strongly agree with Callista and , wow, that was one thorough analysis , Callista! I agree with all of it. I was going to quote her response and say I strongly agree with this but I don't want to take up too much space in the thread.

Last edited by daydreamer84 on 07 Apr 2013, 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bolding all mine:

Having a diagnosis, is a recognised disability in law, entitles you to claim DLA (UK), have reasonable adjustments in the workplace, college, university etc., allows you to take part in research on autism if you wish and other things.