Myths many aspies believe

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One of the worst things....

I think another issue about the myth that Aspies can't conduct their own affairs is that.....it has the double effect of telling some that they don't need to take any action to make things better, and it tells others that Aspies can't do anything anyway, so why bother?

That's called a "Self-Fulfilling Prophesy", like when someone believes that they don't have the skills to be hired, so they never apply for work.

* All aspies don't want a cure.

* A cure should not exist as an option.

* An aspie can never be in a relationship with an NT.

* If a person is extremely smart they must have autism.

* All aspies hate pop music.

* All aspies don't care for going to rock concerts.

* All aspies don't care for fashion.

* All aspies don't like partying.

Last edited by PuppyDog on 11 Apr 2013, 9:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Is < insert totally random physical/mental characteristic, preference, talent, abnormality, quirk, etc... > an Aspie trait?

Does the fact that I don't < insert random stereotype > mean I can't have Aspergers?

People with Aspergers are hyper-logical while NT's are illogical and emotional. (this one's particularly laughable)

If you say something insulting to someone the fact that you didn't intend to be insulting means you're off the hook and shouldn't have to apologize, ever. To be fair this one doesn't seem unique to aspies.

While that's not true, statistically, it often seems to be the case. I don't see it as totally baseless or laughable.



This sounds more like a personal opinion than a myth. If you expect someone must apologize to you even though they didn't intend to be offensive, that's says more about your disposition than any absolute truth. I don't see this as a myth by any means.

Being able to apologize to someone for unintentionally harming them (whether physically or emotionally) is actually a fairly good social skill to have. It doesn't mean you have to be nice all the time or that you need to strictly control everything you say so nothing could ever be taken as offensive. It is simply an acknowledgement that what one says, once's it's heard, may take on its own life far beyond the speaker's intentions.

I don't agree with everyone who tells me I said something offensive, but I am willing to take the possibility into account. It seems to work fairly nicely.

* Asperger peoples should be gifted (trend here @WP)

* Asperger peoples should not also have learning disabilities – LD (trend here @WP)

* The assumption that typical people don’t have social issues sometimes or make social snafus

* The assumption the DSM is the know all/end all (the final word in things)

* Women have it easier somehow (trend here sometimes)

* We lack "true" empathy or to see the "other"

* We cannot be "artistic" and we lack imagination (professionals sometimes)

Last edited by Briarsprout on 12 Apr 2013, 4:15 am, edited 3 times in total.

An answer to a confused thought I read on page 1:
Empathy is feeling the same way as another person. It's what you give a friend.
example 1: My dog just died. He was my best friend and brother. I'm crying about it like a little baby. I want you to cry about it too.
example 2: You(being my bf/gf) just broke up with me recently. You start dating someone again right away. I don't want to hear about it. It will make me feel like s**t.
example 3: You(being my good friend) are listening to me talk about my bf/gf breaking up with me. I want you to A. talk crap about her/him. or B. Tell me how I can do better.

Compassion is feeling pity. It's what you give a stranger or someone not close to you. When hearing their circumstances. It's a passive-aggressive type of stance.
In example's 1 and 3 your response of compassion might be "Aw I'm so sorry." In example 2 it will be considering yourself above me by telling me how happy you are, but still trying to console me when I feel like s**t.

Definition of EMPATHY


1

: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it


2

: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also: the capacity for this


See empathy defined for English-language learners »


See empathy defined for kids »

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This suggests that "empathy" is putting yourself in the other and understanding their needs. But in reality we tend to not understand body language, intention, nor-verbal norms, vocal cues and gestures. Thus, we "miss" social assumed queues. This I believe is not the same as lacking empathy. I see a lot of people being "empathetic" under the Haven heading of this form.

Sadly, at least the first two myths are encouraged in some corners of the internet.

The reason I say it's laughable is the number of irrational and obviously emotion based arguments I see on this forum all the time. Also, some people don't even seem to be aware of the influence of their emotions when making certain claims.


The thing is you miss the point completely. Apologizing is not always about you being in the wrong. Sometimes it's about them. Being stubborn and defensive about it just causes needless friction and will escalate a minor misunderstanding into a full blown argument. It also is a common thing that aspies (and plenty of immature NT's as well) don't seem to understand. That sometimes diplomacy trumps maintaining your own "rightness".

I would'nt have said "laughable" myself, but.....well...it's hard to argue the point.

I think we have Gene Roddenberry to thank for the "hyper-logical" sterotype, because he pretty much created the prototypical Aspie character.

Also, nobody likes to admit that they are arguing on how something feels to just them, it does'nt win many arguements.

Okay. Maybe I don't completely discount the stereotype as a VERY rough generalization. It just seems like people too often perceive themselves as hyper-rational while being anything but. I also admit that I'm not always logical. It's easier to argue logically over physical facts or theories, but when values enter the picture I'd posit that logic only goes so far.

Myth aspies seem to have: If you do something on accident, you shouldn't apologize because it means you did it with intent. That goes for saying things too someone found offensive or insulting or were hurt by it.


I used to apologize all the time and since I kept getting "No you're not" and people not buying it nor accepting the apology, especially online, I have quit this skill because I have given up. I think why even bother apologizing if people don't move on? Plus I have seen it with others too, someone apologizes and people don't buy it so I think "Fine, I am done then. No wonder as*holes exist, society creates them."

I will apologize if I absolutely feel I should rather than do it to make the person feel better or to get them off my back or have them get over it. Plus sometimes I would love to apologize but what holds me back is fearing the person won't accept it so I don't even bother.

Close enough. Being aware of your own blind spots is a skill few people have, and still fewer are willing to look at their own beliefs from time to time.

One piece of advice that I think would serve many posters well....."If you can only afford one newspaper, read the opposition". I read the Huffington Post for that very reason...if you can't see any logic in your foes, then the problem might be in your own court....