My social phobia is actually more disabling than the AS

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I have researched a lot on social phobia and social anxiety and I have practically diagnosed myself with social phobia. I definitely have it, and I think it affects me more than the AS does, although I know AS has caused it with me. The AS has made me feel like I don't trust myself, and they always say to those who get rejected or bullied a lot ''never trust anyone but yourself'', but if I can't even trust myself then what do I do?

I think the social phobia has affected me more than the AS itself. I don't know if this is related to social phobia/social anxiety or not, but in the last couple of years or so I have been analyzing my social behaviour in certain situations, in an obsessive way, and it's gotten worse. I do have a fear of being humiliated, and I fear being disrespected too, since having dignity helps with my self-esteem, and being humiliated or thought of as ''mad'' or ''weird'' or someone to laugh at, always destroys my self-esteem, and it takes a lot to build it back up again.

I get so worried and nervous of making a social faux pas, that if I know I have made one (when it's too late), I go into a panic, as though I have done something as bad as murdering someone or something, and I get palpitations and can't stop analyzing it over and over in my mind. It sometimes causes depression and even thoughts of suicide, because I panic and think ''oh my God I done that and they're all laughing at me, I can't go on like this, it's too embarrassing for me to exist!'' - even though I have no proof that people are laughing at me, the only proof I have is ''NTs are good with recognising what sort of a person you are through your body language, they're not stupid, and they probably can see right through me and know there's something wrong. And I know I don't give off very good vibes.''

Who else here has social phobia? Is this typical of what social phobes do and think? I did have counseling but it didn't do much good, and I am now on the waiting list for CBT (a type of CBT where I can actually go through it with a professional face-to-face, which I find a lot easier rather than reading books about it, being so I easily lose interest when reading books or webpages). It has become a problem.

I can 100% relate, I've been extremely quiet most of my life, and became extremely self conscious within the last 5 yrs or so. I did think the social anxiety was more dehbilitating then then my aspieness but then I realized the conditions are very intertwined within me. CBT therapy might work but the therapist has to have a good understanding how aspergers affects your social anxiety. Regular counseling might not work either if the professional does not have a good understanding of your aspergers. I've been to so many psychs, and many of them can range anywhere from bad to ok but useless. I freak out over social faux paus and NTs cant understand it because for aspies the probability that we made a social faux paus is actually real. Whereas NTs with social anxiety are often thinking very irrationally majority of the time. We actually have a reason to freak, in a way. Although, Id suspect an aspie with SA would need to work on not caring if we made a social mistake. Im with a psych that works for me and what I've learned is that yes I do make mistakes and realistically its inevitable but I do my best socially and I can only give as much as I got. Besides that, there's not much point in spending your whole livelihood obsessing over social mistakes. People are gonna accept or not accept you aspie or not. And realistically, there are gonna be a lot less people that accept us then NTs but we gotta still live our lives. But yeah, freaking out all the time does get really annoying.

Social phobia isn't something I've ever experienced as generally what people think of me isn't something I'm aware of or registering.

It does sound terrifying though.

I have AvPD meaning I'm socially inhibited and feel socially inept, among other things. I think that, along with depression, affects and influences my behaviour more than being an aspie.

IMO, social anxiety/phobia is just a sub-set of AS symptoms and we all have it to some extent.

CBT helps. I did it in book form.

Drugs have helped. Antidepressants, ADHD meds, marijuana.

Practice makes perfect.. "exposure therapy," and all that. ie force yourself to be in social situations just to prove you can manage to get through them, then it gets easier and easier with time.

Reading about social anxiety and then doing CBT should help as you'll be able to see how illogical and irrational your fears and anxieties are, because you can't possibly know what others are thinking/judging etc and those thoughts and the anxious feelings they cause are 100% all completely in your head. Learn to control your own thoughts and not think that way and you'll feel much better for it.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I can relate.

I think the lack of success in dealing with our peers growing up robs of of self confidence in social situations later on.

There are way to overcome it. I've been working hard on this for a few years. Books , therapy, exposure, practice all help a bit.

Give yourself some slack, everthing that happens, or goes wrong or could have gone differently in social situations isn't your fault.

best of luck

I don't have social phobia, but it's the same deal with me and depression--when I have depression, which I do every few years, the depression and not the autism is the major issue. My GAF goes down to the twenties--usually it's in the fifties--and I really am not capable of taking care of myself.

I think it's normal for a mental illness to be more disabling than autism. Not that it always happens--some people have quite mild depression, comparatively--but autism is something I've had practice with my whole life, and it doesn't destroy my motivation or hope or anything. Depression, on the other hand, means I can't use any of my coping skills near as well, and just makes everything much harder to cope with.

Bottom line being, if you're autistic and also have a mental illness, for heaven's sake get treatment for it--you'll probably find it a lot easier to deal with the autism if your brain is working the way it ought to be.

I also have trouble with contributing in a conversation, not because I don't know how to do it, but because of fear. Often when somebody says ''hello, you all right?'' or something to me, I go ''yeah, not too bad thanks, you?'' and they don't answer, as though they didn't hear the word ''you?'' That confuses me, because I thought NTs were socially-orientated and so would hear any voice being spoken to them all the time, and you expect the word ''you?'' in a social comeback and so would reply ''yes thanks'' or something like that. Maybe NT's ears aren't open all the time.

My ears are always open. It's extremely rare if I miss something someone has said. Like sometimes when I'm with somebody and they're looking over their shoulder for a few seconds at something, and I say something, they often don't hear. But when I'm looking over my shoulder and I'm with someone and they speak to me, as bad as my hearing as, I always hear their voice speaking to me, even if I'm not listening to what they're saying, I still turn round and respond, or if what I'm looking in the other direction at is important, I'll go something like ''hang on a minute'' or something like that. My ears are always open, and never ''not hear'' a voice. If I hear their voice but not quite catch what they are saying, I still turn round and say, ''pardon?'' or something like that.

Maybe it's a common social rule that you don't always have to respond to everything that is said to you. I always thought that would be rude. Even if I don't like what the person is talking about or whatever, I still at least say ''yeah'' or something, just to inform them that I have heard.

This is what makes me the most socially phobic. I'm so scared of saying something and not being heard by the other person, but perhaps another person in the group has heard and looks at me thinking ''pfft, he/she didn't hear you!'' then I feel silly for some reason. And if I am having a conversation with somebody and someone else is listening (but is not part of the conversation), I silently panic inwardly, in case I say something and the (nosy) person listening looks at me and thinks ''pfft, she keeps getting interrupted, she must just be a stupid idiot that don't know exactly how to talk to people''. Probably this doesn't happen, but you never know.

Social Phobia and Agoraphobia are more debilitating than the Aspergers for me

Yes, I have social anxiety and I've always struggled with it.

I'm not sure about myself but... this is how I feel when I am within a really noisy crowd:

- I tend to start breathing harder and faster.
- I am on the verge of tears and close my eyes shut to try and distract myself mentally with a song or thoughts involving projects I wish to do.
- My anger rises and my mind tends to display a mental scenario of myself, hurting someone in the most atrocious ways unimaginable and, I have no control over it.
- When it gets very overwhelming, I just want to get out, especially when in a small place like a public bus or subway train.
- Less affected in huge areas like malls, but my anxiety level still rises enough for me to do the first thing I mentionned above the list.

I'm not sure exactly what has been causing this. It's totally new to me and it has been going on for 2 months now.

Could it be enochlophobia, something similar or something entirely different?