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theshawngorton
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23 Apr 2013, 6:01 am

Heidi80 wrote:
I only like hugs if they are from people I know well.


Isn't that, you know, implied?



AinsleyHarte
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23 Apr 2013, 6:04 am

No one around me seems to understand how much I hate being touched without my permission. Yes, I have people that I am generally more comfortable about physical contact with (my mom, sister, best friend,) but even then, I'll get put off by hugs, being leaned on, my hand being grabbed/held, etc. As long as I'm asked beforehand, I'll generally allow it because I appreciate the fact that my boundaries are being respected, though there are times where I will decline. I try to briefly explain why if I turn their offer down if they look/act visibly upset.

Sometimes I go through phases of being "super-huggy" and whatnot, but that is usually because I'm trying to overcome my fear or am super anxious and trying to do "what an NT would do in that situation." I still hate it though.

Non-friends/family, on the other hand...

I panic every time I have to go to the doctor or dentist. I've learned to cut and color my own hair to avoid going to salons. If there were a medal for cutting corners on physical contact with strangers/professionals, I would "take home the gold" - only, they'd have to mail it to me because I wouldn't be at the awards ceremony out of fear of being touched. Hah.


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briankelley
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23 Apr 2013, 6:47 am

theshawngorton wrote:
You only like being touched if you initiate it?


That's my preference. And I don't initiate it very often, that's for sure.

There's a couple of people I actually go looking after for a hug. One's a sweet 80 year old German lady. The other is fairly hulking guy who's one of those few people who seems to radiate pure goodness. I think he's one of those deeply empathetic types. I feel like he automatically understands me and the pain of others. He lost his 12 year old son who dropped dead of a heart attack while playing at a school basketball game. He's one of the very few people I've ever felt empathetic hurt for.



MusicalWonders
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23 Apr 2013, 7:19 am

I have some serious sensory issues and I hate being touched unless I am aware of what's going on, like somebody has to open their arms to tell me they're going to hug me, before actually doing it. I have to give people permission to touch me or else I will become very pained and upset. Even then, certain interactions make me very uncomfortable.



DyspraxicPanda
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23 Apr 2013, 7:31 am

I only like hugs when I choose them, or when I expect them. And usually if they're from close people. But I hate being touched by strangers or without expecting it.
Oh in France to say hello we kiss our friend on the cheek. Sometimes I find it kinda annoying.


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Joe90
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23 Apr 2013, 9:06 am

I like being touched. I only don't like being touched by strangers, but not many people do (unless it's really necessary).

I've always loved having my hair played with, or having people touch my back. It has always felt soothing, and it still does now. I remember when I was a child I used to play a game with one of my cousins, where one of us was the nurse and the other was a patient having an operation, and we soon turned it into a back massaging game because we pretended to want an ''operation'' on our back so that we could get a back massage type of thing. I do miss that game. Nobody will give me a back massage now, or play with me hair (unless I go to one of those spa clinic). Hopefully my sort-of boyfriend will do it when he comes soon.


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Vectorspace
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23 Apr 2013, 9:15 am

Being touched for the purpose of a medical exam is OK.

Other than that, I think I would really enjoy being hugged by a person that I trust enough, but there is no such person.



Nissanfan84
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23 Apr 2013, 9:34 am

I do not like people touching me, not even family. I'm not very good at cuddling and would prefer that I didn't have to do that with girlfriends all the time. Sex is fine; no issues there. I've learned to tolerate handshakes although I try to get away with a polite nod if I can.

My sisters knew that i hated to hug them. They understand that part of me. No one else in my family seems to understand it though. I wish I liked touch more because women seem to feed off touch, so they always think I'm being stand-offish... I just don't like touching people :?


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angelofdarkness
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23 Apr 2013, 10:03 am

I know how you feel since I hate being touched


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PrncssAlay
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23 Apr 2013, 11:06 am

DyspraxicPanda wrote:
I only like hugs when I choose them, or when I expect them. And usually if they're from close people. But I hate being touched by strangers or without expecting it.


In one church I attended years ago, the minister's wife was very touchy-feely. I don't mean just a hand on the arm, but more like a deep and extended semi-massage on shoulders, back, etc, all during the conversation. After consistently drawing away every time she would do that, the only way I found to solve it was to "turn to concrete" every time she put her hands on me. Yuck! Rude but it worked.



catwhisperer
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23 Apr 2013, 11:18 am

I am overly sensitive to touch. Hugs can be overwhelming or comforting depending on who it is. A touch on the arm or shoulder always startles me, and then my arm or shoulder feels weird for a while at the spot where I was touched. Basically I would prefer to just not touch anyone at all. And medical exams are the worst. Just awful.



MrStewart
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23 Apr 2013, 12:47 pm

Yes, I don't believe this is necessarily a sensory issue, thus the reason why touch by certain trusted people can be welcome, but touch by all others is abhorrent.

However, I hate being touched. Even by people I trust. It feels like an invasion of my personal space. I also do not trust other people to be hygienic. I fear germs.

However however, I have no trouble at all touching and being touched by animals. It doesn't make sense to me that I should fear germs from other humans but am entirely okay with a dog licking my hands or something along similar lines. Perhaps it is more distrust being the problem than germs being actual problem.



Chrisicus
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23 Apr 2013, 2:34 pm

I'm sensitive to touch, I'm okay with handshakes, air kisses, hugs etc though as long as I initiate it/know its coming. I hate it when I don't know its happening. At school the other kids found it funny to poke/prod me as I'd squirm and go red. I'm fine with girlfriends and mucking around with friends etc, its just when I don't expect it I don't like it.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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23 Apr 2013, 3:39 pm

I usually hate getting touched. I won't allow my sister to touch me because she will jab me in the sides really hard when I'm least expecting it.

I will allow my mom, step-dad, rugby coaches, some members of my family, and my entire team to touch me whenever they want, because they're generally predictable. If other people have to touch me because it's their job, I also allow them to touch me. Anyone else who touches me will have to get away from me, fast.


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Zodai
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23 Apr 2013, 3:41 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
I usually hate getting touched. I won't allow my sister to touch me because she will jab me in the sides really hard when I'm least expecting it.

I will allow my mom, step-dad, rugby coaches, some members of my family, and my entire team to touch me whenever they want, because they're generally predictable. If other people have to touch me because it's their job, I also allow them to touch me. Anyone else who touches me will have to get away from me, fast.


What about me? D:


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MakaylaTheAspie
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23 Apr 2013, 3:53 pm

Zodai wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
I usually hate getting touched. I won't allow my sister to touch me because she will jab me in the sides really hard when I'm least expecting it.

I will allow my mom, step-dad, rugby coaches, some members of my family, and my entire team to touch me whenever they want, because they're generally predictable. If other people have to touch me because it's their job, I also allow them to touch me. Anyone else who touches me will have to get away from me, fast.


What about me? D:


I haven't met you in person yet. ;)


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