Stimming: Basketball player chewing mouthguard as he thinks

Post Reply New Topic

as he thinks and ponders.

Of course it's a stim. And it's accepted, maybe in large part because it's understood that a playoff basketball game is a high stress situation.

And maybe when we get stressed just from regular life that makes people uncomfortable.

======

It's a confusing thing. Most human beings in general seem to stim, and yet the ways in which we on the Spectrum sometimes stim are viewed as socially unacceptable.

Silly rabit, only individuals with ASDs "stim".

What you're describing is "nerves", which is something completely different.

So if I play basketball and have Aspergers and I am chewing something, it is nerves...But if I'm using my chewy outside of basketball then it's stimming? Seems insignificant except I do this all the time (even as a coach) and people say that it's just nerves, it's inappropriate, and I need to put it away. In reality, it's not nerves. I need my chewy. And I won't put it away. The whole thing doesn't make sense.

That does seem to be the unofficial rule!

And I think college basketball coaches Jerry Tarkanian or Guy Lewis or both were known for putting water on a towel and then chewing on the towel. And for Jerry, also setting the wet towel on his bald head.

The new Tark statue going up at UNLV even has the towel.

I want people to have more good options all across the board.

For example, I want people to model and discuss various types of low-key stimming, if some people choose to go this path.

And, I want people to model and discuss various social skills, so that we can more easily respond to criticism of stimming, or of anything else. One approach might be to say, "Okay, alright, thank you," just keeping it light and nonengaged, and probably, the shorter the better. And as a backup skill, "Thank you for telling me how you feel," although many times something this formal is not necessary.

And other good options, too . . .

I'm open to a broader range of stimming skills. And I'm open to continue adding to my repertoire of social skills.

And the third part, I'm open to new sets of skills, new venues and open fields which I may not have thought of. But perhaps other people have.

And here is legal reformer Jeremy Bentham (we now think of him as a philosopher, but I'm pretty sure Jeremy rather thought of himself as a legal reformer).

Ah, yes, the rock star exception. If a famous person does something different, we view it as neat, cool, and one more reason to like him or her.

Whereas if a child in school, where normalcy is seemingly valued above all else, does something different or merely is different, too many teachers and classmates will view the child as 'wrong,' as 'bad,' etc.

I want us to extend the rock star exception more broadly!

fame as fleeting, yes indeed

I wish more people have told me, that instead of standing there basking like my mom modeled with the science fair, it's about building a team, being part of a team, contributing to a team.

And since I have patchy social skills, good in some areas, including low-key leadership, at times I might be able to help matter-of-factly build a team. No guarantees of course. If it works it works, and if it doesn't it doesn't.

On the question of stims and stimming,

Someone fiddling with a pen as they talk on the phone is so common it's hardly worth mentioning, but this is a stim.

Let's suppose an elementary school teacher, let's say she's not full Spectrum, but rather Spectrum-friendly, something like that. And let's suppose she sometimes engages in a stim more noticeable than merely fiddly with a pen. Not something hugely noticeable, but something medium noticeable, which the kids pick up on, and which they find endearing.

And let's say that with this year's new third grade class, one of the boys is on the spectrum, does have sensory issues, and does stim in a more noticeable way. This teacher can do two positive things:

If another kid makes fun of him, she can tell this other kid, we don't make fun of people in our class, for example, I sometimes _________, people sometimes just have their things.

And plus she might pick up on what might be a less noticeable stim for the boy on the Spectrum, and in a respectful way might occasionally suggest one of these. Without the heavy expectation that she expects him to instantly and automatically do this instead. That is, more accepting, more low-key, and more relaxed about the whole thing.