How to respond to someone who disputes my AS diagnosis?

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Is there a particular reason why you meet her (at least outside of family parties and such)? I'd say if possible, it might be better for your general health to not deal with the stress it sounds like she can bring.

If you find anyone who's doubtful but not really rude about it, maybe have a copy of the written diagnosis, if you have one?

Thank you all for your advise: some of your comments made me laugh so hard and to realize that I CAN stand up to her and say "whatever." Because of some of her particularly heinous actions towards my mother in the past few months, we have decided to cut off any and all contact with her, forever if need be. We have determined that she is a "toxic person" who needs drama in her life and who also needs to be the center of attention to feel important. My mother's recent diagnosis of breast cancer trumped my aunts aches-and-pains, and she is actually mad at my mother for stealing her spotlight--for getting CANCER! There is just no logic in her behavior and manner of thinking.

I have recently read several articles about cutting toxic people out of your life for good, and I think this is the step my mother, sister, and I are going to be forced to make. Her latest "below the belt" insult, before we blocked her on Facebook, is that she posted a snarky statement poking fun of Aspies. My mother, who up until then had refrained from engaging with her, posted that she was ashamed that someone in our family would EVER make fun of someone with a diagnosed disability, and Momma apologized on behalf of anyone with a disability who might have read that. My aunt went really ballistic after that, because she was publicly called out--what defense could she have given without still sounding like an ass?

In any case, there is really no reason for my having to ever have anything to do with that aunt ever again, other than possibly seeing one another when my grandfather's estate is settled and we go to clean out the house. If she is there, I will ignore her and NOT engage no matter how hard she tries to drag me in. Thank you all!

I've found this type of behavour to be normal NT behavour. Even if they don't know your on any spectrum, or you don't know yourself, they will treat you this way. I've had this from friends, family and people in general, all my life.

I think they sence something different about us and automaticly (reject/rebell/attack/ignore/avoid) us because of their sence of difference. Even though they can't quite put a fingure on what it is.

We seem likable to them at first, but over time something changes. I don't know what it is, and they won't say or don't know what it is.

My advise, is to see her on a social level only, if you want to at all. Otherwise avoid the problem alltogether (much simpler and you'll be happier for it).

If they reject you for any reason, they will not turn around and accept you later. You are rejected, there is no going back from that position.

[quote="Jaden] ...in my experience people that say things that like are only looking for a bad response so they can complain more.[/quote]

Some people watch too much Days of our Lives, and forget that it's drama. They begin to think this is normal behavour.
Or they simply want to dramatis their lives up a bit, make it exciting.

[quote="Jaden]I often give them a rude remark...[/quote]

I used to return in kind. If they are rude to me, or stir me up, I'd return their rudness back in equal or greater mesure.
Now days, I tend to comment the opposite, something like "thank you for your opinon, goodbye". I think that upsets them even more.

(I repeat myself, a number of times, so have to edit this. I feel myself getting worked up by the line of discussion, so ought to take a break. )

I'm usually taken to be impolite, so should not be considered an expert on people-pleasing. I do oftentimes find people to be predictable, so that I can occasionally tell the exact words, which will come out of their mouths, or the order, in which they will do things.

imo, any answer or non-answer can be misconstrued by someone who is either not painfully literal or not unconditionally accepting. This person thrives on negative attention, and will create it for herself, where there is none. To the extent that it is humanly possible, I believe it is best to distance myself from that kind of situation, but, when the same kind of thing happens to me, I am usually to engaged to realize it.

fwiw, these situations are most intense when I'm obligated by the trouble maker in question.

I would naturally expect this sort of person to be unhappy. The only difference will be how much of you this person will get. There may be no approach, which makes you look good.

Unless it was an emergency of some kind, I would decline help from someone like this, as I have gone from feeling fairly independent, to be treated like I was needy.

I am not typically abrupt, but that doesn't help me. Within reason, sometimes, real rudeness might have helped me.