Obsession with Navel Gazing

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I have Aspergers and Social Phobia (as a result), and lately all I seem capable of talking about is myself. I know its stupid, but I feel like if I acknowledge every flaw or something, my friends won't abandon me....I only realize I've behaved "incorrectly" after I recognize people's reactions, and then I beat myself up about it to no end.
Here's the crux of the problem: I've had social phobia for years but therapists told me it was all in my head that people were judging me, which made me feel like I was going crazy. I can handle one-on-one interaction with authority figures, but more than one person and I panic. I am also a female of color, so I'm not the poster child for Aspergers, but each diagnostic test confirms my suspicions. How can I stop obsessing over each social error? I feel very vulnerable around people, like they can see right through me; I'm a timid person, and once I begin putting my foot in my mouth I have trouble not giving up. Can anyone relate to this obsession over idiosyncrasies?

<--- Epic fail at one-to-one interactions with authority figures.

You know people as friends, continue to see them and they choose to spend time with you. This means that you are not doing too bad, don't be this hard on yourself.

It is true that a phobia is all in your head, this does not make it any less of a problem though.

When you see people you know try to pre-plan a little, aim to ask some questions instead of listing your issues. Pay attention to the answers instead of getting distracted with your own issues.

Do things that are fun, happy times are good medicine.

Good luck.

I find that my brain wants to go over and over every interaction I have with people and pick it to pieces and criticise my performance but through CBT I have learned to turn my thinking away from this as all it does is make me feel miserable

It's the ruminating itself that is the problem; the event has gone and there's no need to keep thinking about it if you make
a conscious effort not to.

If you are unable to switch your thoughts elsewhere and it's mainly negative thoughts, this can indicate depresssion

When I'm on my anti-depressants I find it a lot easier to switch away from negative thoughts.

I am the same way, but I've noticed that it tends to make the problems worse. It helps a bit to notice the mistakes the people around me are making, and the way they deal with them (they usually shrug them off and move on). It really does seem to be the accepted, expected way to deal with a mistake, so we have "permission" to do it too.
Of course, we try to learn from it and that can be very difficult if we don't fully understand it in the first place, but it seems to be best to set it aside quickly (in our own minds) in one of two categories:
- oops, I messed up, but I'll do better next time
-or-
- this person has a problem, not me

even if we aren't 100% sure about it. Outwardly, it's usually best to apologize simply or laugh at ourselves and move on.