convincing others aspergers is real

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i was just wondering if anyone has a suggestion on how i can convince my husband that as is real and not just me being stubborn. he seems to think that my as symptoms are caused by how i was raised and that i can just become normal if i put my mind to it. i have tried getting a diagnosis but i am not having much luck. also, my husband is from another country where as is virtually unheard of because anyone there who exhibits as traits is written off as weird or crazy or whatever. anyways, i would appreciate your suggestions.

Well, you could argue that he should try saying that remark to a Schizophrenic or someone who is chronically depressed.

Sorry that I can't provide any more help than that.

My father puts it quite well...he always said it is a 'silent syndrome.' The symptoms are hard to recognize, and depending on how severe you are on the spectrum, sometimes it can be hard to pick up. A lot of people I've tried to explain to about AS have often treated me with doubt since I'm high-functioning, but the symptoms are there and noticeable when you know what they are. Just because he thinks it's associated with your upbringing doesn't change the fact that they are associated with the syndrome. I suggest you to let your husband know about the symptoms so he can more easily understand what the symptoms are, and that they are associated with the syndrome. Keep looking for help in getting a diagnosis too; getting a diagnosis really helps out.

I'm sorry I can't help more than that good luck dealing with the problem.

Well, given that we're not entirely certain of the root causes, it might be. But, regardless, it doesn't seem to be something that can just be overcome by will. I've always assumed that it can, much to my pain.

I had this similar problem with ADD. Lots of people like to think it doesn't exist and that society is just doping up normal children to get them to conform yada yada yada..and where that might partially be true..i mean, so many kids are overstimulated and fed too much sugar and in such a state anyone can seem kinda like an ADDer...But to articultate what it's like to suffer because you are on a weird different page from all the other kids...Or have a difficult time keeping things together as an adult because of the way that your mind works...(I am having a hard time expressing myself)
... but I used to catch hell from various boyfriends for always being on the ADD message boards..now, lately I have been on WP alot, and my boyfriend seems more accepting of this than he did of the ADD (mainly 'cause he was against me going on meds..which turned out to be a disaster anyway)..but um....I told him I found a place where alot of the people have alot of the same things I have...and so he doesn't tease me about it as much...his main joke lately is telling me to use my super autistic powers to find the remote..(because I have an uncanny ability for finding things)

That has such a nice ring to it. Course about the only super autistic powers I have are throwing tantrums.

..and I don't think my finding things capability could necc. be the result of me possibly having a PDD...I think it is an adaptive skill that developed from my extreme disorganised-ness...(which I am pretty sure is an ADD thing)

I had an interesting conversation with somebody i know. I explained to her about what it was the day before (and my friend who's worked with people AS told me that my explanation of it was good). But the next day after I told this person, she wanted more explanation of it so I tried to give her examples and try to explain it a little better. Well, things got interesting from there on.

She tried to tell me that I didn't have AS because in her mind, everything that I had problems with, everyone else had the same difficulties. That everyone has problems interacting in society.

I tried to find a different way to show that this is a disorder and that certain people have it and that it is a disorder for a reason and not just everyone has it. I tried to explain that while some people might have some difficulties interacting with people in general, that I have a disorder which is a disorder for a reason.

Two of my friends who have worked with people with AS and understand and know me pretty well just told me to let it go because this girl likes to argue about everything so i just left it at that.

Convincing your husband? Although I would never wish this on another fella, have you tried withholding sex - and after about a month or so, say you had absolutely no idea that would make him upset?

Seriously now, he's supposed to be your support system - and for him not to validate your particular situation, even despite cultural differences, it's got to be somewhat painful, and it's that pain that he should know immediately that he should react to - the kind of thing most of us rush out to get flowers for just because we know we done screwed up, we may not be exactly sure how, but we know - and we sure as hell don't want the situation described above happening.

Just be straightforward about it, tell him exactly WHY this is important to you, and HOW his reaction is not helpful in the least. In a parallel to AS, many of us guys, when it comes to relationships with our significant others at least, have a hard time understanding ANYTHING unless it is 100% spelled out with 100% clarity. You'll be suprised at how fast most of us can understand the impact of our actions if it's spelled out clearly. Short of that - cry. We're all suckers for that.

Ever try throwing them at a distance?

Ask him to try to give conclusive proof that it doesn't exist.

How about taking him on a guided tour of Wrong Planet?

I have told people more closed to me about having AS, but they don't believe to be true, althought they know it's hard for me to have conversations and understanding social things.

One of the problems might be ignorance along with prejudice, I feel pitty for an aspie who lives in a religious enviroment, probably most religious people think AS is not real.

Anyway, you can print the information from web pages and show it to him, it will make a little more sense to him.