Why??

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Why do so many people seem to think that every time they are in the same room as me, they are compelled to talk?

For example, my housemates in this supported housing: if they're making a cup of tea in the kitchen and I'm washing the dishes, they insist on making inane, pointless conversation. Can't they just keep quiet and get on with making their tea?!

My Dad, who has AS traits, can sit in the same room as me for half an hour and not say anything, it's great, especially when I don't feel like talking.

I think it's considered very rude not to. It's seen as "snubbing" the other person. (I learned that one many times the hard way.) And, I would guess that if small talk isn't draining or destructive to one's thought processes then it isn't a big deal to do it.

I relate about sharing space with someone (without chatter), but haven't been able to do that since I was a kid, unfortunately.

My theory is small talk is evolutional behavior, engaging in it provides assurance (to the other person) that you are not preparing to attack them. What a cruel hoax that so much aggression goes on underneath this patina of assurance.

Most NT people believe that sharing the space with someone without talking to each other is awkward and that’s why they choose small talk over silence. It comes quite easy to them to do so, too.

As an Aspie, I find it awkward to have to make the small talk. I'm not interested in what others have to say unless I chose to ask them for the information or there is a specific reason to comment on something. The rest is pointless.

I have felt that there are people with whom there is such a thing as an uncomfortable silence, but that is about the vibes coming off those people, not their silence. You can easily have a comfortable silence if people would just drop the expectations and over-analysing why there is silence. I think we have evolved past the mentality of sensing people will potentially attack us if they are not openly communicating.

I don't know why NTs are insecure about not talking. I think it's pretty obvious if someone is giving off bad vibes, compared to just pottering around in their own world not talking/reading/day dreaming/completing a task. Hasn't anyone heard the expression "Silence is golden"?!

That's why it's so nice to be alone some of the time.

If they feel threatened, then they should leave. Talking about minor crap is not worth it.

...isn't that when you're meant to say some drivel like "I like your hair" or "that's a nice blouse you're wearing" etc.?

But I can't do that, I don't want to make up crap that I don't mean and I am a rubbish liar too. It sounds obviously awkward when I try to make small talk, probably because I don't know what they want to hear, whether it's appropriate and that surely they will see my lack of genuine sentiment etc. And gauging other peoples' reactions takes too much mental effort, I can almost hear my brain cogs clunking, it's exhausting and I want to escape. I just can't do fake.

Better not to bother.

Oooh yes, I think we would all join you in happily monologuing about subjects of interest or receiving information downloads about a new potential one!

Far more beneficial than small talk.

It isn't just an NT thing. They must be extroverted as well.

Also some people are raised to believe that if you ignore the person, that's rude.

Do you answer them? Try not answering them and see if they get the message. If not, can you get up the courage to say something like "I'm reading right now please."

I don't mind talking so much with people I am comfortable with in a room, but I do feel annoyed when feeling compelled to greet strangers just because you happen to be somewhere as these strangers at the same time where nobody else is around for a few yards.

Thankfully not all NTs that I know are like this, the ones who are seem to be the ''me, me, me, look at me, please pay attention to me'' type. My aunt is one of them. I love my aunt, but she does annoy me with this habit. Yes, I know it's nice to be friendly and sh** but I think she overdoes it to the point where when I'm with her I also feel compelled to have to make eye contact and speak to strangers too. Like the other day we were at the ticket machine in a carpark getting a ticket for parking the car, and a young-ish couple were waiting behind us, and when my aunt finished she turned round and just met their eye and said ''hello'', and they spoke back, although I could tell that if she hadn't of spoke then then wouldn't have spoke either. It just gets annoying. I'm like, ''do you have to speak to everyone?'' Speaking to someone you know is OK in my world.

Depends on the situation. It really, really bothers me when I'm somewhere making it obvious that I'm in the middle of doing something, or listening to music, or reading. To me, that's a pretty obvious indicator that I'm off-limits. But some people don't get the hint.