Trouble forming opinions and making decisions
I am exactly like that, too. I believe it's an OCD symptom in my case. Decision making is so stressful unless the decision is obvious. I also think it's partly a habit, too. If you consciously force yourself to make up your mind without thinking too much, you will (or may) get used to it. Well, at least that's what someone told me. I haven't been able to do that myself.
Long time ago when I had an essay writing exam, in which we had to pick one of the 4 given topics and write the essay about it within 4 hours, I ended up spending 2 hours just deciding which topic I wanted to write about. I did ok in the end, but the process of picking one topic was extremely stressful.
I also often spend minutes deciding which cut watermelon is the best in supermarkets unless there is one that is obviously better than other ones. It's embarrassing to be standing and comparing many pieces while other people come and instantly pick one, but I feel compelled to pick the best one. I do the same with some other things, too.
I don't know if it has anything to do with AS/autism, but if there is a link, I wouldn't be surprised.
I'm stuck in my own mind most of the time, so I have trouble deciding what to think even.
I frequently space out being ADHD and struggle making decisions and I am frequently told I need to pay more attention.
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![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)
Only 1 1/2 more weeks of school and procrastination.
I feel I must embark on a journey of some sort to break out of this constant inertia. I need to find a way to discover myself and be able to act without constant trepidation and hesitation. NTs get confused and think it's simply a matter of overcoming anxiety, but there is something more to it than that. I think we just live in a world where the best things are going to be serendipitous. Some people thrive on this and others hate it. I have trouble acting and making an arbitrary choice without seeing the outcome ahead of me and this gets me constantly stuck. There's a strong sense of self-consciousness and identity-insecurity involved as well with me. I don't know how to explain it to other people.
Yeah I think the key could be discovering yourself, although that again involves making decisions about who you are, what you enjoy doing and what you think is right and wrong. Maybe the bottom line is just perfectionism. Although the perfectionism has gone so far that you have stopped yourself from naturally liking things, and think about what things would lead to a better outcome in your life and hence like those things. So your likes and dislikes are built upon intellect rather than emotion. So I guess the real question is the perfectionism blocking off the driving force of emotion or does the perfectionism develop in the absence of emotion. I don't know, just thinking out loud here.
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Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Food, activities, music, leaving the house, grocery shopping... anything that requires making decisions and forming a solid opinion of something, I'm hopeless.
This is me as well. The psychologist who diagnosed me, indicated that I easily become paralyzed by “decision indecision” (also known as "analysis paralysis").
Why is this? According to the psychologist, I am extremely detailed oriented and want to take “in” a considerable amount of details. This works, when there are no time limits. But, under time limits, I am unable to effectively organize the information and come to reasonable conclusions (which is also likely an executive functioning issue). Even when I do make decisions, I worry that it the decision was made in haste (and not the proper decision). It happens all the time.
This is probably why I tend to "stick" with what I know. I will go to the same places, buy the same stuff. It's just easier.
As a note, I dislike buying anything new (particularly anything I had not previously purchased). Because of the anguish involved. Fortunately, I love doing research - especially on the Internet. So, whenever we do need to buy anything new, I spend hours researching it to death. It helps (sort of) eliminate the "buyer’s remorse".
I feel I must embark on a journey of some sort to break out of this constant inertia. I need to find a way to discover myself and be able to act without constant trepidation and hesitation. NTs get confused and think it's simply a matter of overcoming anxiety, but there is something more to it than that. I think we just live in a world where the best things are going to be serendipitous. Some people thrive on this and others hate it. I have trouble acting and making an arbitrary choice without seeing the outcome ahead of me and this gets me constantly stuck. There's a strong sense of self-consciousness and identity-insecurity involved as well with me. I don't know how to explain it to other people.
Yeah I think the key could be discovering yourself, although that again involves making decisions about who you are, what you enjoy doing and what you think is right and wrong. Maybe the bottom line is just perfectionism. Although the perfectionism has gone so far that you have stopped yourself from naturally liking things, and think about what things would lead to a better outcome in your life and hence like those things. So your likes and dislikes are built upon intellect rather than emotion. So I guess the real question is the perfectionism blocking off the driving force of emotion or does the perfectionism develop in the absence of emotion. I don't know, just thinking out loud here.
I don't think it's really perfectionism. It's self-consciousness. I've had it all my life. Even when I was 12 years old or so when I was with a friend I never liked to decide what to do. I'd let them decide to avoid having to share what my true preference was. It's one of those things that probably only makes sense to me.
I have big problems with this too. I hate having to make my mind up, especially quickly. When someone offers me a drink for example, or if I'm in a restaurant and the waiter or waitress comes to take my order, I just panic and pick a random option. If I'm at home and my husband asks, I usually just say 'Surprise me' much to his consternation! I also find it difficult with films, books, etc. Sometimes I can't tell whether or not I like something, and even if I know I like it or dislike it, I don't necessarily know why. I really hate being asked my opinion after seeing a film or reading a book, especially when someone pressures me to elaborate. I usually just shut down completely because I have nothing to say.
I can't totally relate. I hate going to new places to buy food. I hate sandwich shops where you choose your own filling because I never know what to put in it. I research new purchases. I spend hours making sure I buy the right thing, but I figured that was because I'm poor and a bad decision is a total waste of money.
I hate organising social events. I arranged bowling once, but never again. It stressed me out trying to work out who to invite. Who do I ask and who do I leave out? There has to be a certain number to fit into the lane or multiple lanes. Argh! too much stress!
I often don't know how I feel until time has passed and I can look back on a situation. Then I can see clearly how things unfolded and what I should have said or how I should have reacted.
Being alive is stressful!
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