i wish my parents had...

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I wish that my parents spent a lot of time with me teaching me about the basic social rules. Like the stuff in this book that I'm now reading(This is the best book I have found) http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistai ... index.html

Also I wish my parents teached me how to stand up to bullies and as*holes. (self advocacy) so that I could be a strong person from the get go rather than teaching myself at 18 what normal people knew at like age 10 or something.

Also I wish that my parents had limited or stopped me from playing so much videogames. All I did as a child was mostly just play videogames and that hindered my development a bit.

I wish tha tmy parents encouraged me to exercise and get strong. I was overweight and teased for it as a child but I'm not anymore.

I wish my parents didn't put me in this stupid learning disabilities class in high school. I hated it and I didn't even learn anything from it because it was s**t I already knew. Also in middle school they got an aid to come to class for me. That is a big mistake because you can't make a child learn if they don't want to and a learning aid just doesn't work and it also singles the kid out and makes others think you're a ret*d. Oh god I wanted to strangle that aid it's not even funny.

It is lovely that you are trying to help your child. I was not diagnosed with ASD, but I think my parents should have looked at themselves and their own behavior, and this is what you should be doing if you really want to help your child, as in very many ways these kinds of developmental disorders often relate back to and are interconnected with certain styles of parenting. For instance (do not know if this is true about you, but just to give an example)---if a parent has a lot of anger and is even expressing this in very subtle ways which he himself is not even aware of, or if a parent is pushing the child to develop, to be very smart or creative or good at sports or whatever, an extremely sensitive child might begin to withdraw into a shell, and then his further development becomes built upon that. It it very fascinating how this can happen, and if the parent begins to look outside of himself and have all kinds of notions about it and even build up an elaborate dialogue around about what is wrong with his child, which dialogue is supported by other people who are doing the same for various reasons, then the parent can hook into this diagnosis and miss what is really necessary, which is to touch back with the child. I understand that you are trying to look at your own parenting and this is good, but it is very easy to look at it from a very superficial angle and then feel that it is in depth when in actuality there is being given just a kind of inner lip service to this looking---the parent is still not really getting to the heart of the problem, which is how to connect back with the child. And of course many others will support this approach as they are doing the same, very superficial, because they do not really want to be deeply in touch, so they believe they are already in touch, but nothing could be further from the truth,

Re the advice about telling your child he has this or that developmental disorder.,.I hope you have not done this yet. There is no need to tell your child any of this crap right now---this is a time to pause and become more sensitive to both yourself and your child.

That was me as well, my report card in grade 1 said I "allowed myself to be teased and returned to the scene". I also had trouble understanding at first that bullies were bullies and not my friends. In later grades there were even kids who'd say they were my friends and only wanted to play and then bullied me. Children can be very manipulative.