ImmenseLoad wrote:
What were you finding hard if you don't mind me asking? Why couldn't you have asked for help with specific things you were having trouble with?
I'm doing creative writing and found writing characters with emotional depth and complex plots hard to impossible. I've got round it by rewriting traditional stories and making identity, or lack of, part of my research. I'm also finding the imaginative, 'something out of nothing' part of writing difficult. I'm doing a PhD, and the lack of structure (which I know it part of doing a PhD) is really hard to deal with, and I've compensated by working in a school to keep the routine to the day, but that means the only time I have to write is late at night or early morning. Writing makes me panicky because of the uncertainty side of it, and that makes me feel 'yucky' (nauseous, shaky and guilty) which triggers a binge then I feel worse (I also have an eating disorder). The social side of uni has been difficult this year too- PhDs are quite isolating and I don't live near my uni so I felt a bit disconnected, and I had some friendship problems at home (a friend stopped talking to me for no specific reason and I only have one friend near where I live) which made me feel more 'yucky' and really didn't help. Uni don't know about any of this, and I didn't want to mention it in case they said I shouldn't be doing a PhD or I wasn't ready for it. I really want to do it- in a 'structure', I love the process of writing and I really like the research side of it, and I also really want to learn to be more creative and spontaneous but this year has been really difficult. There's also a lot of people politics that I wasn't expecting, and that's made it really hard too. Not sure if I should mention any of it to my tutor or not!