Annoying or hindering anxiety/terror/fear episodes.

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1. As a little boy, I remember being absolutely terrified of going into certain places. Grocery stores, schools, and so on. Small, plainer looking places were never a worry, but the bigger or "worn" the place was, the worse. Big gymnasiums/rooms full of iron beams and support trusses for reinforcement? Ductwork exposed and hanging from the ceiling suspended by cables or rods? A ceiling over 15 or 20 feet? Instant fear. Maybe it was sensory overload? No idea.

Even worse with older places like grocery stores. Holes in the walls or ceiling tiles missing or damaged. I was petrified to the point of being a "deer in the headlights" couldn't move a muscle. I felt vulnerable and frightened, to the point of tears or a meltdown sometimes. I had thoughts of the place collapsing, or sometimes it was just the only emotion I had for no apparent reason, it was just "there". (See above with the "industrial warehouse" type ceiling.) I've since gotten over this one, of found ways to deal with it, but I'll never forget that feeling. Absolute terror.

2. Heights. Oh sweet mother of...

I never got over this one.

It applies to stairs, the second story of a building and up, certain carnival rides (Ferris Wheel, etc... rollercoasters have no effect on me, go figure...), climbing trees... Almost anything. Take me more that 4 feet off the ground, and it's horrifying. Same feelings as above, BAD anxiety and emotional episodes. Sweaty palms and feet, shaking, being petrified, inability to form words or think, dizziness... It's like vertigo mixed with terror, everything is amplified. I think I'm going to fall, either physically or something is going to go wrong mechanically or structurally. (falling through the floor, etc.) I've been laughed at and called a "wimp", "wussy", and a few other choice words more than once. It's embarrassing to ask for help from someone else or frustrating to have that feeling that you've missed out on something potentially cool that's just out of reach. It's even driven me to curse close and loved ones in fear when they were just trying to help and comfort me... The odd thing is, I can sometimes do it if I'm with a large crowd, (Remember that Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse at DisneyWorld? I could do it because I was with 50-70 people, all strangers, too.) or some places do NOT scare me at all, sometimes due to the stairs being enclosed, maybe it's a trick of the mind thinking I'm still on ground level? Open stairs and ladders scare the crud outta me. But natural things like mountains and hills don't irk me. (Though the edge is unnerving...) Flying in an airplane? Been there, done that a couple times, it was AMAZING and I'd do it again in a heartbeat... It's weird, right?

Got any to share?

For me there were certain places I was terrified of and they were basically anywhere noisy and crowded. I would have a meltdown/tantrum or would just wander off when I was taken to such places . Fairs, carnivals , parades and amusement parks were all like that and I would have a fit and my mum would take me home right away most of the time. When we went to Disney land I kept chanting "I want to go back to Toronto". I was an older child at that time. I ran away from the school lunch room where we were supposed to eat in primary school and so I was put to eat in the grade 1 classroom (the first graders ate in their classrooms not in the big lunch room). When we had to play gym games outside I would wander away from the field. Once my mum and grandma took me to see Sesame Street Live and all I remember was that it was really bright and noisy and then I went away (ran maybe) and then was wandering around in the lobby near the bathrooms looking at the wallpaper when my mum family found me and they were really frantic.

When I was in grade 10 we had United Way day which was a day of bake sales and games and teachers doing crazy things in support of The United Way charity. Everyone was down on the first floor of my high school and it was a huge school. It was ridiculously crowded. I wanted cupcakes and sweets from the bake sales, they smelled delicious. So I bought some and was going to look around for some more but people were so packed together and I couldn't figure out where to walk and there was so much noise my head felt like it was going to split open. My heart started racing and I started breathing heavily and was a little dizzy/weak. I made my way to the third floor and sat there alone with my cupcakes. .

As an adult I still have a fear of crowds. I'm not afraid of heights or insects or any animals....I'm pretty sure I don't have any other phobias.