Social Anxiety or Maybe Aspergers

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Have had long term schema therapy and my social anxiety has reduced, but there's something else, an underlying social awkwardness. I'm told there's no point in having an Asperger's assessment because there's no evidence for it. What do you think? I wrote down how I feel trying to focus on the awkwardness rather than the anxiety ...

Social awkwardness
As a kid:
• Decided I would laugh at everything. I’d seen other kids do that. I didn’t like the feedback that I was very giddy
• Decided I would act like someone I knew from a certain day onwards
• Worked out a new personality / identity to adopt
• Misread body language and for example, saw anger instead of concern
• Hid at the side of the house when my friend came round to play. She ended up playing my sister while I hid
• Many times didn’t see any friends from school over the summer holidays
As an adult:
• Repeated things I’d heard other people say in similar situations in the past to try to fit in
• Told myself to remember to ask people something about themselves or what they think every so often
• Reminded myself to ask people how they have been or if they had a nice weekend
• Decided to make eye contact so people wouldn't point out that I don’t again
• Listened to my mother explain that she was trying to have a conversation with me and what conversation is
• Found chitchat and small talk unbearable
• Told myself not to fidget and look worried or shuffle my feet or rub my hands up and down chair arms … it would just draw attention to my awkwardness
• Told myself that in a social situation I must say something every so often even it is very difficult to do so
• Told myself to make my face more expressive because people called me poker face
• Decided to vary the tone in my voice because people said it’s flat
• Decided to talk in a different way because of comments on my odd accent / intonation
• Worked out a new personality / identity to adopt
• Misread body language and for example, saw anger instead of concern
• Was able to chat to one person but when someone else came along was silent

I would not read a long post like that but hope someone does!

Hi gratin,

the social anxiety and difficulties you describe certainly sound a lot like Aspergers to me, but then there is a huge crossover with the whole social anxiety thing. The only way to know for sure is to go for a professional diagnosis.

I would say that you certainly show enough of the symptoms (in my opinion, remember we all have different experiences) to suspect that it may be a possibility.

Do you have any sensory issues or special interests? You have made no mention of those at all, and if you don't, then I would say that maybe you just have social anxiety.

Have you taken any of the online tests? They are not perfect, but can give you a good indication if it is a possibility. My best friend suffers from terrible social anxiety, but still came up as NT on the online tests. I am actually better than her in social situations, but came out firmly as an Aspie (which I later had confirmed officially).

I suggest you have a read around the forums and see how much you relate to, do the online tests if you have not done those yet, and then decide if you think it is worth further investigation.

Good luck.

I get a high score on the tests.

My biggest sensory issue is noise. I have been diagnosed with sensitivity to soft sounds. Noise is a big problem in general.

Well, even a professional cannot diagnose you through a forum. But it certainly sounds like it is worth investigated further.

If you are looking for an official diagnosis I would suggest you go along with your test scores and anything relevant (exactly like what you wrote above), as it helps to have everything in front of you ready to discuss - much better than getting into an assessment and shutting down from anxiety.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Thanks.