What do you want?

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Stability.

I would like to be able to communicate better, and for people to understand me and to take what I say at face value, not putting their own interpretations and motivations onto me. I would also like to be able to be less distractable, especially by sounds, and to be able to moderate myself more effectively; I'm always either monosyllabic/unresponsive or monologuing and not listening to other people. I'd like to be able to have a normal, reciprocal conversation without expending so much mental energy either trying to force myself to speak or trying to reign myself in.

I wish I understood more about people, their interests, and the reasons for those interests. I would love it if I were able to sense when someone was getting annoyed with my topic of conversation, and be okay with the fact that it was time to drop it instead of feeling all the things I got cut off from saying chewing a hole through me. Maybe I'd like people more if I understood them better.

I have no idea what I really want in life, and aside from experiancing rejection from some people because I'm different than them I don't think my autism is the main barrier that prevents me from doing or having what I want. I suppose maybe my own place of living somewhere with people I get along well with and the financial means to keep it and afford activities, therapy, meds, food or whatever I happen to need. Though I don't like that there is a monetary system in general so even that isn't what I 'really' want just what I'd settle for in this world since the classless communist utopia probably isn't going to happen in my lifetime if at all.

It's interesting how many of the posts to date were referencing external social factors.

I want a CEDAR DHX Dehisser.

I wish others would understand:

It is not a sin not to speak sometimes.

Responding to multiple voices, greetings, questions is almost impossible.

The ability to get a waiver so I can enlist or to be lucky with the ladies.

Reduce emotional shutdowns and internal anger with other people. I don't want to dislike every person I first meet.

I want to understand what traits in me, that have kept me from using my potential, what traits, that have given me so much trouble dealing with others, and what gave me so many different, confusing, hurtful labels during my course through the social machinery.
And afterwards I hope to be able to live in better harmony with myself.

To have enough interest in other people to be ready for them when they approach me.
To have the ability to explain
To be aware of the things that seem into general knowledge (useful for conversation) and not so immersed in my own imagination.

I'm not 100% sure if I want the latter

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXobO2UgEuo[/youtube]