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billiscool
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07 Jul 2013, 11:00 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
hanyo wrote:
neilson_wheels wrote:

I think his point is that female aspies can have sex and form relationships where as male aspies can not.


Not all female aspies are capable of that.


And not all males are incapable of that.


right,but aspie women have a better percentage rate in getting dates,sex,relationships.



neilson_wheels
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07 Jul 2013, 11:05 am

billiscool wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hanyo wrote:
neilson_wheels wrote:

I think his point is that female aspies can have sex and form relationships where as male aspies can not.


Not all female aspies are capable of that.


And not all males are incapable of that.


right,but aspie women have a better percentage rate in getting dates,sex,relationships.


How do you know this?



chlov
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07 Jul 2013, 11:10 am

billiscool wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hanyo wrote:
neilson_wheels wrote:

I think his point is that female aspies can have sex and form relationships where as male aspies can not.


Not all female aspies are capable of that.


And not all males are incapable of that.


right,but aspie women have a better percentage rate in getting dates,sex,relationships.

Then I guess that what my elementary school teachers said was true.
I am just a male disguised as a female.



Tyri0n
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07 Jul 2013, 11:14 am

billiscool wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hanyo wrote:
neilson_wheels wrote:

I think his point is that female aspies can have sex and form relationships where as male aspies can not.


Not all female aspies are capable of that.


And not all males are incapable of that.


right,but aspie women have a better percentage rate in getting dates,sex,relationships.


There have been a few polls on the topic. They weren't incredibly decisive though. Anyway, it makes sense passivity and social ineptitude hit males harder than females when it comes to dating.

Why? Because men/society value women primarily for their looks. If a girl's hot or even average, she can get a boyfriend. Because men are aggressive and insufferable in their quest for sex.

If a man is hot or average, whether or not he can get a girlfriend depends on other factors. Why? Because society/women do not value men primarily for their looks.

Ugly woman = awkward guy (both have trouble in dating)



billiscool
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07 Jul 2013, 11:15 am

chlov wrote:
I agree with that.
Not all females with Asperger's are able to form relationships.
I am a female and I can't do that. I've never had a relationship, I've never dated or had sex, and no male has ever liked me.
I am completely unable to behave in a different way, "copy" others and I don't know how I could do to be attractive to others.
Also, I am avarage-looking, maybe if I was beautiful people would like me more, but that would probably only help me to get sex, and not a real relationship.
I don't relate to those articles I read online about the difference between males with AS and females with the same condition. I am not able to copy other females and look "typical". I relate much more to the "classical" description of Asperger's.

Also, I've never felt the so-called society's pressure on me, that is what most women and girls I know feel pretty much.
I don't wear make-up, don't wear "sexy" clothes (they are too tight and I have no intention of torturing myself by wearing them) and don't really try to look "attractive" to others. I've always condidered my own comfort and desires more important than other people's thoughts or feelings.


the problem with these ''my male gender has it worst'' thread, is that women who respond to them are usually are married/ in a relationship,
or has had good amount of sex or romantic partners. or has a fwb. maybe if more dating unsuccessful women would reply, maybe some men will
see that aspie women do struggle. I have seen tons of these threads and very rare for a never dated,never had sex aspie women to reply to these threads.



billiscool
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07 Jul 2013, 11:20 am

neilson_wheels wrote:

right,but aspie women have a better percentage rate in getting dates,sex,relationships.


How do you know this?[/quote]

from various polls.



neilson_wheels
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07 Jul 2013, 11:42 am

Tyrion - if you are comparing human sexual characteristics with animal behaviour. Sexual arousal for males is visual, while you can't see if a female is in the mood to 'mate' with you, like you could for chimps, sexy or revealing clothing is a substitute. This also contributes to the concept of provocative dress, as the trigger for men is what they can see. Female interest is usually caused by physical size and ability to compete in the animal world, this is transferred to an appearance of being successful and confident in humans.

Billiscool - Most of the female posters on this thread are describing issues they have with relationships so I don't feel that is an appropriate response. As it is a spectrum there will be some here in relationships and some who are not.



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07 Jul 2013, 11:48 am

billiscool wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hanyo wrote:
neilson_wheels wrote:

I think his point is that female aspies can have sex and form relationships where as male aspies can not.


Not all female aspies are capable of that.


And not all males are incapable of that.


right,but aspie women have a better percentage rate in getting dates,sex,relationships.


Boo Sex! I wouldn't satisfy a member of the gender that I wish to be for a million dollars. I'd rather live the life of a man than get sexed by a man.


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07 Jul 2013, 11:50 am

Verdandi wrote:
Oh, another "autistic men suffer more than women because of my ignorance about autistic women's experiences" thread.


Pretty much.



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07 Jul 2013, 12:00 pm

smudge wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Oh, another "autistic men suffer more than women because of my ignorance about autistic women's experiences" thread.


Pretty much.


I knew there was going to be another thread like this. It's been six months since the last one popped up. I also predict that the same people are going to keep posting the same responses until the thread is locked. I know that I've already posted at least a couple of my typical responses.


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07 Jul 2013, 12:03 pm

neilson_wheels wrote:
Tyrion - if you are comparing human sexual characteristics with animal behaviour. Sexual arousal for males is visual, while you can't see if a female is in the mood to 'mate' with you, like you could for chimps, sexy or revealing clothing is a substitute. This also contributes to the concept of provocative dress, as the trigger for men is what they can see. Female interest is usually caused by physical size and ability to compete in the animal world, this is transferred to an appearance of being successful and confident in humans.

Billiscool - Most of the female posters on this thread are describing issues they have with relationships so I don't feel that is an appropriate response. As it is a spectrum there will be some here in relationships and some who are not.


If I was given the choice and I was forced by the government to be with a man, I'd like a scrawny Ray Davies type man. I find male muscles to be a turn off.


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07 Jul 2013, 12:34 pm

galvatron wrote:
whirlingmind wrote:
galvatron wrote:
I'm not trying to say that women have it easier in general, but society does expect men to be more aggressive socially than men. People often suggest "why don't you just date a woman with Asperger's?", overlooking the fact that most Aspie women don't have as much trouble attracting, dating, and marrying NT men. For instance, Teasaidh mentioned a husband is this very thread.
And from reading her posts, it seems that Sweetleaf is a lot more dysfunctional than I am (no offense). I don't have PTSD or anything like that. I'm simply a little shy around new people, I get nervous when trying to talk to attractive women, I like unusual and "uncool" things like comic books and sci-fi, while more popular things like sports and music hold little or no interest to me, I'm a very logical and analytical thinker, ans I dislike religion. I've been suffering from chronic depression, but I'm ale to hold a job and support myself financially without assistance. In fact, there have been many women who have found me fun and charming, but they have all insisted that like me only as a friend. My problem is that, in our society, a man is expected to walk straight up to a woman and wow her with poetry. That's why players and pick-up artists are so successful; they have the experience to know how to tell women what they want to hear. While women pretty much just have to be born female. If you've ever watched Animal Planet, you will remember seeing the males of various animal species having to perform elaborate dances of some form or other to attract the females, while female don't have to do anything to attract the males. This is why having AS (with the exception of severe cases) does not affect a woman's ability to attract men, while it does affect a man's ability to attract women.
And just to clarify, this topic is not meant in any way as an attack on women. I'm simply stating my observations. The reason I feel this is relevant is because people often suggest that I date other Aspies, not taking into account the fact female Aspies have little trouble dating male NTs, and thus are not any more likely to date Aspies than NT women are.


Did you even read any of the information I gave links for? Your one subjective experience does not speak for all males:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/magaz ... d=all&_r=0

Quote:
The difficulty may continue into adulthood. While some men with Asperger’s marry and have families, women almost never do, psychiatrists observe. A 2004 study by two prominent British researchers, Michael Rutter and Patricia Howlin, followed 68 high-functioning autistics over more than two decades. The group included only seven women, too small a sample to reach solid conclusions about gender differences, Rutter and Howlin caution. But 15 men — 22 percent of the sample — rated “good” or “very good” for educational attainment, employment, relationships and independent living, while no women did. Two women rated “fair,” compared with 11 men, and the other five women were counted as “poor” or “very poor.” None had gone to college. None reported having friends or living on their own. Only one had a job. Undermined by anxiety and depression, women with autism appear to be more often confined to the small world of their families.


And that doesn't even account for the number of marriage breakdowns where the NT husband thought he was getting something that he wasn't.


First of all: that was a study conducted in a different society and culture than the one I live in.
Second: by the researchers' own admission, they did not have a big enough sample to reach accurate results.


Which society do you live in Galavatron? Do you live in the USA?



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07 Jul 2013, 12:41 pm

galvatron wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Females have more pressure to look perfect, we can't show a single hair on our legs and other parts of the body (except on our head), otherwise we face ridicule, so we have to be really brave and extremely confident if we choose not to shave. But females can get away more with being shy, unconfident and introverted, and I think it's easier for females Aspies to find a boyfriend than it is for Aspie males.

Males have less pressure to look perfect, younger/middle-aged males can go out looking scruffy (collars up and ripped trousers) and still get young females thinking they are nice. Also men can have the choice to shave their body or not, and so either way is socially acceptable. Also, although having long hair on the head is obviously more common in females, a male with long hair on his head still doesn't seem to get ridiculed by his peers, like a female would if she chose not to shave her legs or armpits. But I know that females seem to prefer more confidence in a man (I know I do), and males do have more pressure to appear ''tough'', where as females are allowed to show more emotions like crying, etc. It is harder for Aspie males to find a girlfriend than it is for Aspie females.

I think it is hard for both genders on the spectrum to find and keep friends though. Well it obviously depends on the type of person, but not on the gender so much.

That's my word said about it anyway. Remember, it's just from a UK society point of view.


You might note, that simply shaving your legs is much easier than having to constantly project confidence despite over years of repeated failures.
Also, I live in America, so that's the society I have to deal with. Whether or not its easier for men in the UK is something I do not know.


Scratch the last question Gavatron. I am in America as well. In my opinion, American society and the dating scene in America is dysfunctional. You're trying to figure out how to conform to dysfunction.

Read what Winston Wu has to say Galvatron. http://www.happierabroad.com/

This projecting of confidence that is demanded is not who you are. His recommendation is to change cultures. This is just one option.



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07 Jul 2013, 1:15 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
neilson_wheels wrote:
Tyrion - if you are comparing human sexual characteristics with animal behaviour. Sexual arousal for males is visual, while you can't see if a female is in the mood to 'mate' with you, like you could for chimps, sexy or revealing clothing is a substitute. This also contributes to the concept of provocative dress, as the trigger for men is what they can see. Female interest is usually caused by physical size and ability to compete in the animal world, this is transferred to an appearance of being successful and confident in humans.

Billiscool - Most of the female posters on this thread are describing issues they have with relationships so I don't feel that is an appropriate response. As it is a spectrum there will be some here in relationships and some who are not.


If I was given the choice and I was forced by the government to be with a man, I'd like a scrawny Ray Davies type man. I find male muscles to be a turn off.


Each to their own way. Try to squeeze as much happiness as you can out of life. :D



galvatron
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07 Jul 2013, 2:42 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
galvatron wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Females have more pressure to look perfect, we can't show a single hair on our legs and other parts of the body (except on our head), otherwise we face ridicule, so we have to be really brave and extremely confident if we choose not to shave. But females can get away more with being shy, unconfident and introverted, and I think it's easier for females Aspies to find a boyfriend than it is for Aspie males.

Males have less pressure to look perfect, younger/middle-aged males can go out looking scruffy (collars up and ripped trousers) and still get young females thinking they are nice. Also men can have the choice to shave their body or not, and so either way is socially acceptable. Also, although having long hair on the head is obviously more common in females, a male with long hair on his head still doesn't seem to get ridiculed by his peers, like a female would if she chose not to shave her legs or armpits. But I know that females seem to prefer more confidence in a man (I know I do), and males do have more pressure to appear ''tough'', where as females are allowed to show more emotions like crying, etc. It is harder for Aspie males to find a girlfriend than it is for Aspie females.

I think it is hard for both genders on the spectrum to find and keep friends though. Well it obviously depends on the type of person, but not on the gender so much.

That's my word said about it anyway. Remember, it's just from a UK society point of view.


You might note, that simply shaving your legs is much easier than having to constantly project confidence despite over years of repeated failures.
Also, I live in America, so that's the society I have to deal with. Whether or not its easier for men in the UK is something I do not know.


Scratch the last question Gavatron. I am in America as well. In my opinion, American society and the dating scene in America is dysfunctional. You're trying to figure out how to conform to dysfunction.

Read what Winston Wu has to say Galvatron. http://www.happierabroad.com/

This projecting of confidence that is demanded is not who you are. His recommendation is to change cultures. This is just one option.


That does sound good in theory, but this Winston fellow reeks of snake oil. And it isn't a feasible option for me, as I cannot afford to relocate to another country. I grew up in Libya because my mother married a man from there, and I never liked it. And even when I did try to go back there some years ago, there were many complications which prevented that. And I ended up losing my passport and owing the US government money, and I cannot get my passport back until that debt is repaid. I can't even get into Canada with a passport anymore.



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07 Jul 2013, 2:52 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
smudge wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Oh, another "autistic men suffer more than women because of my ignorance about autistic women's experiences" thread.


Pretty much.


I knew there was going to be another thread like this. It's been six months since the last one popped up. I also predict that the same people are going to keep posting the same responses until the thread is locked. I know that I've already posted at least a couple of my typical responses.


It's like I said to the mods, "It's that time of year again."