Moving to Sweden with Asperger's

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What is it like to live in Sweden with Asperger's? I'm truly curious; I'm sure every place has its own perception of what it means to be on the autism spectrum, and with that come its own stereotypes and shared experiences.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm seriously considering making a move there. I've lived in the USA all my life and I find our culture a poor fit for me; the need to constantly engage others is incredibly stressful. I'm aware that in Sweden, people require a much greater degree of personal space, often communicate by text message, find eye contact from strangers to be invasive, and are generally more task-oriented and reserved. It sounds like social behavior in this country more closely resembles my own, in many ways. Here, I can't walk into a store without being followed around by a shopkeeper, and cannot sit down with my dog in the middle of the park without strangers coming to surprise me with questions. My Swedish friends tell me that, in their country, walking up close to strangers and talking excitedly at them is either a sign of mental illness or the precursor to a robbery.

I appreciate the better access to education and social services, as well, which I do not want to rely upon but frequently worry will become necessary. Government healthcare and social safety nets are pitiful here, and those who use them are considered leeches, at best.

For those of you who live there, especially if you have also lived somewhere else, to whom would you recommend living there, and how would you describe your country?

In the meantime, I'll be here plotting to sell my firstborn for a förstahand in Gamla stan.

You got PM.

I've never been to Sweden, but have thought about going. When I read up a little on Swedish culture I thought "wow, that basically sounds like an Aspie culture!" Wishful thinking perhaps, but your post says more or less the same thing, so at least I'm not alone in thinking so. It would be interesting to hear what you think of it if you actually get there.

You've got a PM from me too!!

I would like to go to Sweden, but I didn't like Malmö and Skåne doesn't seem that pleasant.

Made me think of this: How to piss off a Dane 'The Privacy in Public Act'

I don't know Sweden that well, but Denmark and Sweden share some cultural similarities. So maybe you will find info on Denmark a bit useful too.

In Denmark, generally, you can go shopping in peace. Of course there will always be little old ladies and bored, attention seeking people who would want to talk, but all in all you can go about your own business in peace. Be careful to reveal that you speak English, though. In that case people would looove to speak with you
You can sit in a park in peace - provided you don't bring your dog! If you bring your dog (or a baby) you are free game.

I wouldn't call Denmark an aspie heaven. You will still need social skills (a lot!) and you will need to learn all the unspoken rules which will be much harder for an aspie than for NTs - and even they have a hard time doing it.
I think that moving to another country would really require social skills. Not only will you have to learn the language, you will also have to get a hang of the local culture, local humour and all the unspoken rules.

AS is just as much a disability in Scandinavia as in the US, but I suppose the Scandinavians (and Germans) are at least more reserved and less prone to engage complete strangers in conversation than the Americans are. But is that sufficient reason to relocate?

As for me, I have less trouble with unspoken social rules. Most of the unspoken rules, I find, have actually been extensively chronicled on the Internet. One might think this would make life easier, and indeed, I'm now at a point where I can predict what I need to do in most any interaction. The challenge for me, and many others I know, is in the constant, draining banter. I know how to feign enthusiasm when I'm supposed to, but it's still such a draining activity. A day of interacting with American NTs is soul-deadening. Bumping into someone is always excitement, then enthusiasm, then a complicated dance of small-talk until we finally part ways.

Tell me if I'm wrong here; I'm basing the following conversations off a pretty small sample-size of Swedes I know.

A phone call I'd have with an American acquaintance would always be enthusiastic. "Hello? Oh, hey, Steve! Good! Wow, it's been so long! How the hell have you been? Uh huh! That's so great."

Swedes I know are much more reserved. "Ah? Hej, Staffan. Good to hear from you. It's been awhile. What's going on?"

I realize not everyone is the same, but the difference is stark, to the extent where I can scare off the anxious Swede with the sort of conversation that we'd consider reserved, over here. I find it difficult to match the constant false-engagement we're obligated to show the outside world; it must be a bad fit when people feel you don't care because you don't seem excited to see them, or when groups feel you do not truly wish to belong when you don't fuss over simple, silly things.

And tangential, perhaps, but I also feel that Germany and much of Scandinavia, especially, have a better track record of resolving the conflicts that inevitably come up with AS. Proper society in the USA prefers to ignore social problems rather than deal with them. There is an unspoken rule not to rock the boat or say anything negative or critical; Germans and Swedes I've worked with have few qualms about telling me their feelings verbally. It's infinitely easier to smooth over social blunders with someone who's inclined to work it out rather than someone who dances around the issue, acting quite upset while also saying that nothing is wrong. The direct approach to conflict can feel severe at first, but in a way it's also refreshing.

Though that's a lot of detail about what's really just one in a sea of reasons. I wonder if my perceptions here are true or not.

I am a Swedish aspie who has been to the USA and I can say Sweden is amazing in comparison. It's a quite calm country, most things are just "lagom" which is the word for "not too little, not too much, just the perfect amount". In Sweden we don't go for spontaneous visits (I've heard that people do that in other countries but that would just be invasive in Sweden), we are good at diversity and there are usually other people who are open about their weirdness, it's kind of become cool to be weird in certain cohesions and I think that's great. We don't sit beside others on the bus unless there are no other seats, I love that, Swedes simply provide personal space as you said. Most people in Sweden also have at least a vague idea of what asperger's is, so if you tell someone they often know the stereotypical "dos and don'ts of autism". In the USA everything is so concentrated on being social, but in Sweden you don't have to talk to your neighbors if you don't want to, you don't have to be polite to the person next to you on the bus, they know you don't want to talk to strangers. Some people who move to Sweden think it is difficult to get to know Swedes and that we're very shy. I guess we might be in comparison to Americans, but I think that's a good thing, and if you go to school some people will most likely think it's cool that you're from the US and want to talk to you and see if you're cool simply because it's fun to meet people who aren't from Sweden. Feel free to message me if you have any other questions about this, I hope this was useful

Sweden is changing rapidly.

I would think twice about it. Do more research. The Swedish media selectively ignores certain aspects to paint it as the utopia it was in the past, despite it being quite different now.

In New York if somebody walks up to you and starts excitingly talking to we assume mental illness or somebody is distracting us so his partner can mug us. In other parts of the country people will walk up to you and try and start a conversation and that is thought of as bieng friendly.

I don't think Sweden is doing to well or looking for any new immigrants, they can't handle the amount that they have.