I think my fear of bells at school alienated me

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I know I have Asperger's, but I don't think it was completely the Asperger's that alienated me at school. It was my fear of the bells. Well, my fear of the bells was probably cause by Asperger's, but it went beyond a sensory issue. It developed into a debilitating phobia, and I was too embarrassed to tell people about it because it was something nobody would understand, especially when I got to a teenager. Some teachers knew, but they didn't realise the seriousness of it, probably because, to an NT, the bells aren't a big deal. I told one girl in my class about it, and she got completely annoyed at me, and began getting sarcastic like yelling out, ''the stupid bell's gone now so you can come inside!'' She probably thought I was weird.

But at the primary school I often put my fingers in my ears a lot because I knew the bell was going to ring, like at the end of assembly. I would stand up with the rest of the kids as we filed out of the assembly hall, and I would have my fingers in my ears. All of the teachers thought I was covering my ears because of the noise, but actually noise of chattering children didn't worry me as a child, but because I denied my fear of the bell most of the time, it always made me look more Autistic than I really was, if you get what I mean.
Also at secondary school I used to stand away from the rest of the kids when waiting for a lesson in the corridor, because I didn't want to stand anywhere near any bells. I was older then and so didn't want to be seen with my fingers in my ears (it does encourage bullying sometimes), and I obviously didn't want to tell anyone about my stupid fear, so it just looked like I was ''worried'' about joining the rest of the kids in my class and was trying to get away, when I wasn't at all. I really wanted friends.

I think the bell ruined my school life. Who invented them, and why did they have to have bells?! Even just looking at them on the wall made my mouth go all dry with fear. I really don't know why. The fear still hasn't gone now, which is why I do not want to work in any schools. But people would definitely laugh at me now being afraid of bells as an adult.

Just thought I would share it and see if anyone else had similar experiences.

Joe, frequently the things that bother us most are the little things. While I don't like using loud tools, such as guns, chainsaws, lawn mowers, etc., the thing that seems to bother me the most is the occasional backfire when starting one of my ATV's. It's not even loud, and doesn't happen that often. But when I start one of them up, I've been told I look like somebody is about to pound on me, and I tense up badly. Once I get the things started, everything is just fine.

In any case, I understand you're out of school. So, hopefully it's not something you will have to deal with again. Or do you still deal with this problem?

My son had difficulty with noises when he was younger. He hated the bells but the fire drills were really bad for him. He figured out the schedule of when they'd occur. I came back from work early one day and found him at home when he was supposed to be at school. He knew there was a fire drill scheduled that day. I took him to school and met with the principal and they were great about it. They agreed to call him out of class to the office right before the drill and they let him stand by the door so he could be the first one out. No one in the class besides the teacher knew why he was being called to the office. They did this for years until he gradually adjusted. I've been very lucky with the public school system here.

Fire drills didn't worry me a lot at school. They worried me in my first 3 years of school, not because they were too noisy, but because the sound of them disturbed me, if that makes sense. It's a bit like how you would feel if you were somewhere haunted and heard a ghostly noise, you would be frightened of the sound.

But when I got to about 7 I was fine with it. The bells were in the corridors and they always done fire drills when we were in the classroom, so it wasn't near enough to make me jump. Walking through corridors when the bells were still ringing wasn't a problem either because although it was loud, it was ongoing so it obviously didn't make me jump.

I suffered with my nerves at school (and still do now) so I really hated things making me jump. Even though I knew when the bells were going to ring, I still hated being in the corridors because I would wait for it and they say that somethings things make you jump worse when you're listening out for it. It all just caused anxiety and I'm glad I'm not at school any more.

But I do sometimes still have dreams where I'm back at school with noisy bells, feeling unsettled about it.

In the case of phobias for bells (or any other such thing) the aversion to distractions and interruptions has simply ramped up to an acute chronic level. In my case, I had a phobia for telephones such that I was unable to use them at all from about 15 years old till about 30 years old. From about 27 years old onwards I had to use phones in a work context and from frequent use I overcame the phobia. I am now 45 years old and use the telephone without any trouble.

Over time I have grown to dislike bells because they interrupt me. As with many aspies, I like to settle down and concentrate on a task for long periods of time. School was a nightmare because just when I had got into a task and ws starting to get somewhere, the bell would ring and I would have to pack up and go to the next classroom or, if in the same classroom, get the books etc for another subject. It totally killed me and then to add to that were the normal distractions in a classroom. I never developed an outright phobia about bells but when I hear them I can feel a rise in anxiety.

When I was a kid, I didn't realise that my difficulties were not experienced by other kids and so I never identified bells and diistractions in a classroom as posing a unique problem for me. I thought that what I experienced was normal for all the other kids as well and if I ever had any negative anxiety reactions or get into states of confusion, I would chastise myself for being soft or disorganised or whatever. I have always had great difficulty holding onto my possessions because I forget them all over the place. I not the greatest at setting up a workspace and a work process, but once I do, I work very effectively. As an adult I understand myself infinitely better (especially since being diagnosed) and I know why bells and other distractions freak me out.

I read something interesting about sensory processing disorder, that part of the problem is a sufferer's body is unable to recover from the body's natural startle reflex.