Forced Conformity/Socialization, My Experiences

Post Reply New Topic

I am just glad my parents have not tried too hard to make me conform. I hate conformity. It is the greatest sin to have to be a faceless clone rather than an individual.

You should talk to your parents about what they did to you. Make them feel guilty.

Your parents seem like the crazy people for what they said.

You should show your parents what you wrote about them on this forum, and all the responses it got.

Good good. Revenge is a dish best served cold, so wait for more responses.

I can relate but not with swimming (personally I love swimming.) My problem was riding a bike. Every summer they would force me to do it (and I would alwys have to go outside when my younger bro did luckily he never did realise I was his slave, or was never a sadist with it) and like you I always wondered why, I was a cross country runner (well 5k runner anyway one of about a dozen or so in existance at the young of age I think lol) I played soccer basketball baseball and bowling (I was into sports a tad bit lol) and yet they insisted that I ride this stupid bike nevermind there was about a dozen kids on the block younger then me who could ride it no problem (including my bro who was and still is generally nice about all my differnces) some of whom would teese me about it. But as at the end of every summer I would be halfway decent at it at the beginning of every summer I would have forgotten how to do it (guess you can forget how to ride a bike after all.) So by the time I was like 10 or 11 they gave up and when my brother would ride around on his bike I could shoot hoops or play another game, although I still get told you can still learn how to ride a bike speeches.

What kind of family do you have? I like swimming, but when water gets in my nose I get a real bad sore throat. So I have to make sure no water gets in my nose. Took forever for my family to get me to swim when I was little but they didn't force me. And one time my cousin pushed me in the pool and I got a mouthful of water and hurt cause I was by the steps. I have a scar from that.

AMEN!! !! !! !!

To me it sounds similar to what my parents did with swimming. Some of the other excuses they gave me was "everybody swims" and "everybody likes swimming." They were probably trying to make you be like everyone else by doing what everyone else did. More forced conformity it seems.

You're lucky about your little brother. My sister always tried pushing me around when we were kids and I often stood up to her. When my parents started forcing swimming on me, she took full advantage of the situation. She'd say things like "When I swim he has to swim too" or one time when I walked downstairs in my regular clothes she said "What are you doing dressed like that for, get your suit on right now and get outside, it's splash time." I can also remember my mother sending her to my room to ask me if I wanted to swim and when I said no she yelled to my mother 'He says he does" and my mother would respond "good." When I told my mother how my sister lied she wouldn't listen and insist I wanted to swim to the point of threatening me about not wanting to. It was totally insane. It wasn't just phyisical control they wanted, it was mind control as well.

The idea I wasn't interested in swimming couldn't even be discussed. My parents wouldn't accept the idea that I could be disinterested in swimming or that I could even have other interests besides swimming. My sister was allowed to pursue her interest, which was mostly reading, but I couldn't pursue mine. If I tried to drag her away from what she was doing to do something I liked, much like the way she dragged me from my interests for swimming, I was often told "leave her alone she is doing _____." I wasn't given that consideration.

I don't know how my life would have been if I had just been left alone, but I do know my life forever changed because of having swimming forced on me.

SOK Wrote:

SOK also Wrote:


I don't like to think of it as a guilt trip--the intent shouldn't be to "make them feel guilty"--but I do think that telling them how bad they made things would be a good idea.

Last edited by AS_Interlocking on 07 Jul 2005, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My parents got me to learn to ride by offering me lego. And it worked.

Bribery and other forms of positive reinforcement are amost always the best way to go when the kid is not doing something bad. My Mom got me to do lots of stuff that way between about 5-8. Mostly stuff regarding schoolwork and good social conduct. My Dad was more of a discilinarian and we almost never came to see eye to eye when it came to chronic problems. It sucked but I don't feel the need to rant about it.

I have never been very fond of water. I used to be scared to death to put my head under water because of water getting in my eyes and my ears.

I am not quite sure, but I think the water-around-the-face issue may have been in part due to me having had ear infections when I was fairly young and so I hated for a long time to have water go into my ears.

But then once I got used to that, it was the fear of water in my eyes. I was 12 by the time I learned how to take a shower and wash my own hair because I was afraid the shower water and soap would get into my eyes.

I also fear swallowing pool water, because it makes you feel sick and I am afraid of throwing up. Or getting water up my nose. The list goes on.

I haven't swum in years. But in the bathtub, I purposefully put my face beneath the faucet as a sort of mild Behavioral Therapy. I did this at first out of necessity to get the soap off my face. Now I do it to get used to it a little more and more. I still have no intention of swimming anytime soon though.

(My worst fear of going into the pool was that someone was going to dunk me. This happened a couple times and it scared me to death. These days, if I get into the pool again, I make it clear to the other people that dunking me is not an option and it REALLY scares me. Once they see the sincerity of my claim, they are eager to oblige.)

Forcing me to experiance something i do not want to will not fly. Like my glases getting smudged or my car window getting cleaned. Im old enough to buy a shotgun now. Don't do it.

When i was young my mother wanted me to learn how to swim, I detest getting water in my eyes so I was bought some goggles and everything seemed fine. Until the swimming instructer decided to put me in the deep end. Because I was so used to just being able to stand in the shallow end I didn't bother to try and keep myself afloat and almost drowned.

I had a swimming phobia for 6 years. Then I tried again and now I'm a really good swimmer, but I learned when I was ready. I find the water to be an expression of freedom. But I still hate the water in my eyes!

Stephie x.

I don't know how parents could be so cruel as to force a kid to do everything that their sibling said they had to do. The whole situation sounds very insane. It's a wonder that you'd even be on any sort of speaking terms with them!

Prisone6, it wouldn't hurt to tell the parents how bad it made you feel but if you can't/don't want to face them personally, a letter might be best. They might not want to admit they did the wrong thing but at least they'd have no excuse for not knowing of the bad effects it had on you.

I never could tan as I had very fair skin. Even now, it is a status symbol amongst kids to get tanned and they never seem to think what is going to happen when they get older and they get skin cancers and prematurely lined faces.

Because I didn't go out in the sun much, I look younger than my age.

Infact prisoner......,

Since i can afford a shotgun now, where do your parents live?


- humor(but almost not)