how would you describe yourself in social situations?

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Hi. I don't know if I am aspergers but I suspect.
I would describe my behavior at social situations like this: I can read what's up to people. what are their emotions and body language well, but I do not know how to respond to it and sometimes I feel they might think I don't care about them. I intelectuallize everything at social meetingg. I don't know what to talk about, and I don't do much more than just giving Hi, Bye, Thank you, and so, I am not able to take things further than this, that I would consider the basics, I can't captivate and connect emotionally to people, I am always aloof and daydreaming.

does it sound like I could have asperger or not? do you relate to this? how do you act in social places?

In social interactions, I am myself, and I do and say what I think, what is in my mind in the moment.

I am generally friendly with people, and people are generally friendly with me, sometimes too too too friendly.

I don't intellectualize social interaction, and I don't eggsplicitize social cognition, because pointless, nonsensical, and uninteresting to me.

I don't think what people are thinking, and I don't feel what people are feeling, and I don't interpret most non-verbal communications, because low social processing, and I don't interpret many verbal communications, because low speech processing.

AWKWARD. Like how Gary Numan calls a Stormtrooper in drag. Normally I would just cower in a corner in the back of the room and go on the Internet on my phone and watch videos of things I like. It's not like I can really talk to people or anything anyways, so there's no point to even be there.

I relate, yes, apart from the daydreaming. It's a pretty good description of most if my social interactions.

Really awkward. At first I have anxiety cause I'm afraid I'm going to act stupid. But then I get over lol And I'm awkward. I don't get sarcasm. My mom uses it a lot and I take literally. I do get jokes and may or may not find them funny, I USED to blurt things out I shouldn't, an't express strong emotions or emotions that expected of me, often sense I'm being yelled at when I'm not, I'm chatty and go on and on and on about my current obsession out of the ones I have OR I'm silent and won't talk at all unless spoken to-this usually this is only for the beginning until I get to the person-with groups.... no lol I don't get chatty unless their all my best friends, and I often have a blank expression on my face-my exbf when we went on dates would always say this...

"Are you bored? You look bored."

"What no."

"Yes you are. You're bored. I'm boring."

"*insert name here* I am not bored. I love being with you."

I always felt bad.

P.S. I always have to fit my me time in. It's part of my routine, I enjoy it, and helps me not get so overwhelmed with the people. When I get overwhelmed with the peopled I've been with I get irritable. I snapped at my exbf when we were dating once.

P.P.S. I am also always daydreaming. I also have trouble with small talk.

I'm the guy on the far side of the room looking at he piece of paper I just pulled out of my pocket. The banalities of NT interlocutions are so many car alarms in the distance.

This describes me in many ways too, though I'm not diagnosed with anything and don't really struggle apart from having no real friends and avoiding socialising. I can say more than just "Hi", "Bye" etc. but I can often find it hard to think of anything to contribute unless a compatible topic comes up.

I went to a little picnic after work the other night because they kept pestering me to join them, but when I arrived (late) they barely even noticed and I sat for quite a while in silence just listening. I was there for hours (with nothing to eat or drink) because I couldn't think of an excuse to escape. It felt like a waste of time since they'd said earlier that they wanted me there even though I'd said I was keen to get on with my work. I only occasionally found conversations I could participate in and my manner when I do seems to be pretty much fine, but I spend most of my time silently wondering what they're talking about and why they can't discuss/do something more interesting. When I do participate, my opinions seem to be pretty consistently alternative or "left-field". I don't feel I have to fake very much and I'm not anxious in that setting, but I do feel I have to exaggerate my efforts on certain social graces. They're a polite and fairly average group of people - I prefer misfit groups where you can speak your mind more readily without worrying about offending someone.

Last edited by Filipendula on 21 Jul 2013, 5:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

I relate to that, especially the part about not connecting and daydreaming. Like I can make friends (that took building up my confidence) but I never seemed to connect and take friendships further like others do, sometimes refusing social invitations because I was not interested in the activity or other reasons (which I think were not good reasons). If I'm doing something that I can do automatically I can go off into my thoughts, the worst part being laughing at something that is probably considered random to others because they don't realise I do that. I also think I have aspergers but not just because i have so many of the symptoms (some "classic" some not).

I can relate. It seems that all I really want from people is intellectual stimulation, that's what I'm really hungry for. Social situations frustrate because they don't give me what I crave. Even conversations with PhD educated people I find tiresome. They may occasionally mention ideas which on the surface seem deep and interesting, but no one really thinks about what is being said. Its never long before the debate descends into banality.
Because I get so bored of the conversation I do intellectualize the interaction itself. I sit and think about what topics of conversation people like, and which are the best to get people talking. I do daydream a lot. Alcohol doesn't help, it just sends me further into my own world.

Regarding social skills I am like a clumsy dancer. I know and understand the steps I am supposed to make, but my execution is often very poor for certain moves. Many attempts at jokes and light banter I make tend to fall flat, as I am not usually able to say them fluidly and with the right tone of voice.

That's pretty close to how I am too. Intellectual stimulation is something I crave and I have spent time before thinking about how to talk to people in a way I can enjoy. And nobody really gets my ironic sense of humour. I find things funny mostly when they are the furthest thing from the truth and people really don't get it when I am being ironic.

Socially Non-Existent. Unless with friends. Making new friends is almost impossible for me. I don't get what others get out of conversations, and they read people differently than I do. That about sums it up.

I'm (most probably) NT, and although I frequently feel the need to go out socializing, I regularly find such events frustrating. The reason is that usually the most dominant talkers always tend to rob an interesting conversation and then steer that conversation into some subject around a particular sport (particularly football/soccer) which I have no interest in whatsoever, then they would spend hours talking about it rigidly and obsessively, completely oblivious to other people like myself who have no idea what they're talking about.
So I feel like an idiot just smiling and nodding, thinking "there has got to be more to life than this...". Usually I find another group to mingle with, but then it's only a matter of time before some conversational dominator attacks that conversation and yet again another good conversation disintegrates into the football fanatic's black hole.

I find about 50% of chatty 'social' people are actually quite selfish a-holes. The other 50% of people there are doing what I'm doing ; thinking "hmmm this kinda sucks" with a big fake smile on our faces.

Finding ways to leave them as quickly as possible.

m quiet unless someone talks to me about something im interested in

Holding my breath. I usually do OK conversing one-to-one in a social group, but if another person tries to join the conversation they are likely to feel pointedly ignored.

I don't know what I look like, I just know what I do in a social situation.

I do what my instinct tells me to do.
I say what comes to my mind first.
And stuff like that.

Generally speaking, I'm not hostile towards people, even if I was told more than once that I look hostile. If I do, probably it's not because I'm being hostile on purpose.

I can't know which social cues I don't get (unless people comment on it), but I get some basic facial expressions (smiles, sadness, and anger if it is very evident).

I often get lost in conversation and don't pay attention to what people are saying or forget it easily.