Are there other men here who don't want to have children?

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Do you want to have children someday?
Yes, I'm a man and I want children someday 10%  10%  [ 5 ]
Yes, I'm a man and I want to have children as soon as possible 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
I'm a man and I already have children 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
I'm a woman who is interested in seeing the results of this poll and resulting comments 22%  22%  [ 11 ]
I'm a man, and I'm undecided/not sure if I want children 8%  8%  [ 4 ]
No, I'm a man, and I don't want children 55%  55%  [ 28 ]
Total votes : 51

SheldonGC
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26 Jul 2013, 10:07 am

This is inspired by a similiar thread in the Women's Dicussion forum.

I know I don't want kids, and I know I couldn't handle the stress of being a dad. Are there any other men here on Wrong Planet that feel the same way?



ParaSait
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26 Jul 2013, 10:13 am

Nope.
I dream of spending in a life of silence and contemplation, and getting kids certainly ain't gonna help. :D I'll also have far more time and money to spend on myself...


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xarrid
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26 Jul 2013, 11:06 am

had this question been asked of me over 5 years ago I would have told you "No I do not want children!" and I was very very firm in this belief.



SheldonGC
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26 Jul 2013, 11:19 am

xarrid wrote:
had this question been asked of me over 5 years ago I would have told you "No I do not want children!" and I was very very firm in this belief.


What changed your mind?



CranialRectosis
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26 Jul 2013, 12:09 pm

My father is very different. I figured out that I am very different when I was 15. I also figured that if dad 'had it' and I 'have it' that the issue was likely genetic. I was not diagnosed until I was 40. I got fixed so I can't have kids when I was in my 20s.

I figured that whatever I have, would be transmitted to any child I would ever have and so I decided at 15 never to pass it on.

I have NEVER regretted that decision.



Hanibal94
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26 Jul 2013, 12:16 pm

I don't want any either. My skills in dealing with kids - especially the messes they make - are rather lacking.
My mom thinks I might change my mind when I get older (I'm 19), but I'm very sure I don't want any.



xarrid
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26 Jul 2013, 12:31 pm

SheldonGC wrote:
xarrid wrote:
had this question been asked of me over 5 years ago I would have told you "No I do not want children!" and I was very very firm in this belief.


What changed your mind?


My wife got pregnant. :) It's a very long and very personal story how life finds a way ... but that is what changed my mind.



chris5000
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26 Jul 2013, 12:44 pm

I would be a terrible father

I have almost zero people skills and im really awkward around babes



Dillogic
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26 Jul 2013, 1:16 pm

Yo

I can barely look after myself with help.



JasonO
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26 Jul 2013, 1:55 pm

I am in my 30s with no children, and a couple of years ago I elected to get a vasectomy so my wife would not have to worry about birth control. (At least when she has sex with me, ha ha.) Neither of us has ever wanted kids and despite decades of people saying "just wait until you're older," here we are and we both feel exactly the same as we always have.

I do not quite see the appeal of parenthood. I am also keenly aware that you are rolling the dice every time you reproduce. You have to be ready for that baby to come out with Down's syndrome, or spina bifida, or, yes, autism. Depending on the severity this could turn your life upside down. I like my life more or less the way it is.



Uprising
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26 Jul 2013, 2:34 pm

In one point in my life I was literally thinking that 99% of the male population never wants or never has ever wanted kids for some reason.



Shizzle
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26 Jul 2013, 3:08 pm

my 19yr old son definitely wants children some day, but is very concerned about passing on his faulty genetics -- not his ASD ways of thinking (he actually likes that part about himself, as many on here have often said)...but rather, his poor balance, coordination and spatial issues (which prevented him from being able to competently play sports), and his co-existing conditions of OCD and SAD, which are extremely debilitating at times.

all three of those conditions run rampant on my (NT) mother's side of the family -- affecting two out of four of her children (including myself), five out of eight of her grandchildren (including one each from my NT siblings), her father, two out of three of her siblings, two out of four of her siblings' children, and roughly half of her cousins from three generations. so, it's got to be genetic in our case. :(



WhatHazard
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27 Jul 2013, 8:40 am

No, I couldn't handle kids me and my girlfriend have discussed it and neither of us see kids in our future. I barely function on my own, I can't imagine how I could deal with a small child for years and it wouldn't be fair to the child. I remember how bad my father treated me as a child because he was unable to deal with kids, I believe I'd probably end up the same way.



jk1
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27 Jul 2013, 11:02 am

I voted no, but that's not because I might pass on my autism or anything. It's because babies are noisy, stinky, require so much attention and can possibly grow up to become a troublesome teen or something. Sounds like too much trouble.



xarrid
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27 Jul 2013, 11:25 am

I decided as the lone father so far, i need to say a few things to some of the responses.

yes you are rolling the genetic dice of passing on your genetic (or spouses) genetic problems. that's just not our problem, that's societies problem as a whole. I do not view this as a reason not to have kids, there is just as good chance that your child will be perfectly healthy and not have the genetic abnormalities (i hate that phrase can someone fix that for me) that some of us have.

to those who have issues with babies, your offspring doesn't stay a baby for long. my son is 4y/o he have very small set of needs compared to 3 years ago. But believe it or not, my son knows that i am not like all the other daddies and that I'm special which he states "makes my daddy the best daddy in the world". I think the love i get from my son makes all the stinky diapers and midnight feedings worth it.

For those men who do not want kids at all and are still in their teens and 20s, let me say this. Do not close off the idea completely please, I think the fact that you are hesitant and considered already about the welfare of a possible offspring automatically will make you a good father.



rdos
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27 Jul 2013, 11:49 am

Aspies needs to get children so we get new Aspies in the next generation, so just get at it. :mrgreen:

And don't come with the "they will be badly treated" argument, as better treatment requires a sizable population that can argue about their human rights.