Do you feel that you would be better off if you didn't know?

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That is to say, if you didn't know you had autism or asperger's syndrome?

I was diagnosed with 'high functioning autism' at thirteen, and I feel that finding out I had autism gave me less incentive to act and be 'normal.' But I don't mean a bland and boring 'normal.' I mean a being-able-to-comfortably-look-people-in-the-eyes-as-a-habit normal, and all things similar.

Granted, I never really looked people in the eyes much before thirteen, or even after. However, if I was still operating under the pretense that I was neurotypical, I believe I could have at least recognized my 'social problems' and pressured myself to fix them. Though this is all hypothetical, I can't help but wonder if the grass is really greener on the side of ignorance.

I have an aspie friend who I talk to and meet up to take the occasional walk around NYC; we both know we're definitely on the spectrum. He makes these playful comments that he could do some things that I can't, such as getting decent grades without studying, or helping an NT friend get a girlfriend, and I've seen him do those things in person. On the occasion that he makes a comment like that, I can't help but think that I could do the stuff he does as well, but I always nod in agreement so I don't risk some form of argument (which actually is unlikely to happen, as we're on pretty good terms).

I think I'm digressing, so I'll stop here, and ask you guys: Have you ever felt you would be better off in any way if you were ignorant about your autism/asperger's ?

(No poll, because I want to incentivize typed-out replies.)

I may have been worse off and better. I sometimes wish I never found out. My parents kept my other diagnoses hidden from me and decided to disclose AS, anxiety, and OCD to me.

"Knowing" hasn't changed me. "Knowing" hasn't altered the world. I get to know there's a word for my intransigence, and I like words, so I suppose I'd call it a slight plus. But there's so much I don't know, & it's been half a century so far.

In my case it's the opposite. I've lived my life without knowing it for so long. I kept wondering why I struggled in so many ways (particularly socially) but just didn't know what to do. If I had known earlier, I could've made more focused effort to improve my life. I was wasting my effort because I was trying things that wouldn't work for me. So I think it's definitely better to know what you are dealing with.

I must admit, I don't really like having this label. I rather just be labelled with something that's more well-known and explains itself when you hear it, like ADHD or personality disorder or something like that. A person with Asperger's Syndrome could be anybody if someone had never heard of it before. Then when you say, ''it's an Autism spectrum disorder'', they've probably heard of Autism and then immediately think, ''Autism: meltdowns, better treat her gingerly otherwise she might sit on the floor making odd noises and rocking backwards and forwards. Oh s**t, better switch off all the lights and make sure the environment is quiet. Oh, I could ask her to add up some difficult sums for me. I won't tell a joke, she might take it seriously.'' And all of that crap. I don't have meltdowns when interacting with people at all, people can talk to me just how they would talk to anybody else. I don't have meltdowns, period. And I am not sensitive to lights, I like lights, and if I am bothered about a noise I probably will keep my cool in front of other people and just feel annoyed inside. And I am bad at maths, science, technology and all of the other stuff Aspies are ''supposed to'' be good at. And I love jokes and always get them. I may not always know what to respond to a joke but I still laugh and enjoy it.

So I'd rather not know about having Asperger's or being labelled with it because the name just screams out all these stereotypes before you get the chance to explain.

I'm not diagnosed so it could be said that I still "don't know". I'm the same person with the same problems whether I have a diagnosis or not. A diagnosis is just a label that might provide me with some insight and accommodations for my differences. Maybe a diagnosis would have made me feel better as then there would have been a reason to be in special classes and special schools and the mental hospital and I wouldn't have just felt like everyone thought I was weird and bad.

Wish I would have gotten diagnosed period. It would have saved me a lot of trouble growing up as well as transitioning into adulthood.

I'm facing a pretty bleak future, and having diagnoses in place would help if I need to get on some kind of assistance. I would need to be on assistance to live independently, and sometimes I wish I was.

i think knowing is a good thing, it made me aware of the differences in perception and mannerism and allows me to adapt my behaviour and expectations.
for example, knowing that almost noone hears the humming of a dying fluorescent tube, i stopped complaining about it, i just already bought a new one, so there 'happened' to be a new tube when the old one gave out.

Yes, I wish I had never heard of AS or HFA. As much as it helped me understand why I'm different, it has been detrimental to my self-image and my views on what I can do. Now I doubt myself with everything, including things that were never a problem in my pre-knowing-about-AS-days.

I also wish they had kept AS as a separate diagnosis. I don't care how much it might be a type of autism, I only care about the stigma it means for me. I'm not even sure if it is spectrum. One of the AS traits (one I really share) was clumsiness and reduced motor skills. That is not part of autism or the new criteria. That alone might indicate they are indeed similar but not the same, seeing as it is very common in Aspies but not in auties.

I think I would of benefited from knowing that I'm mind blind, without it being connected to autism.

As I didn't know until recently.. I think I like the idea that I didn't know to an extent because I think this pushed me to develop coping mechanisms. However some things I would have been less hard on myself for, as would have others. Probably the best time for me to have known would have been part way through my first job as I think there are some things I'd have approached differently and just been more relaxed about myself to a degree. Knowing has made me relax around people more thus far as when I come out with those things that just leave people stunned into silence or something I just don't care now or see it as a problem

Having a diagnosis means that people know I do have genuine issues and I'm not just being whiney. This has meant I've had support to help me achieve something resembling my potential. I'm also more aware of some of my limitations. I'm not sure whether I would have been as willing to admit to some of those limitations without a diagnosis.

I got diagnosed at 23 and I am PISSED that I wasn't diagnosed sooner. I went through hell trying to fit into the NT world. I was lonely, depressed. I worked so hard to put on a show and put myself in situations I wasn't comfortable in just to make friends. That led me to more anxiety and pain. Now that I know I have AS I don't try as hard to fit in, I am different and there's a reason for it and I am much more content now.