Hiding special interests

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I think it's a shame that you want to hide your accordion special interest. The only interests that I think warrant "hiding" are ones that could be viewed as socially inappropriate in some way, but I don't consider the accordion to fall in this category. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking your parents for lessons. On the contrary, I think wanting to learn a new instrument is worthy of pride and self-discipline. I agree that you should "go for it"!

Here is how I see this:

Do you know how many kids have random "flighty" interests in their teens? How many kids are sooooo into the guitar, ice skating, skateboarding, or something else that requires a certain amount of expensive gear, only to have that gear sitting dusty in their closets just a few months later? I'm not saying this to say, "I don't think you'll stick with it." I'm saying it to say, "A teen wanting to buy something totally random, like an accordion, is actually pretty normal. What is "abnormal" is the fact that there's an excellent chance that you will, unlike most other kids, stick with it! Which will be nice for your parents. They won't have to see the expensive "gear" collecting dust in the attic."

If all else, could you ask a few relatives if they could go in on one for you for a birthday/Christmas? If you're given one as a gift, do you feel like that would be an easier way to explain having it in your home and being interested in it?

Or, you could do something like this: "Hey, mom. My music teacher has had an accordion laying around lately, that she let me play. I didn't expect it, but I actually really love playing it, and am interested in getting one of my own! If I stick with it, playing the one that my music teacher has, do you think it would be okay for me to buy one to have at home?" Then, it won't seem like an interest that "sprang from nowhere," and she'll know that you have a real interest in it; it won't be some "flighty" thing that you'll abandon.

When it comes to peers thinking it's weird, so what? Are you really that interested in every thing that all of your friends/classmates love? I'm sure that there are some things that they are really into that you don't "get," or really dislike. But, if they're a friend, you'd still like them, right? So, give them that benefit of the doubt. If they really like you, they'll either be happy for you about the accordion interest, or they will be neutral about it.

I couldn't used to be able to hide my obsessions. When I was a teenager at school I used to talk about my obsessions a lot to my friends, which is what caused the break-ups with them. They then lectured me one day saying to me that I'm ''so obsessed'', and that I need to keep it to myself a bit more. Then one of them became my best friend for the very last year I was at school before I went on to college, and she got to a point where if I even hinted about any of my obsessions she would not talk to me for some minutes, but remained a bit huffy for the rest of the day basically. That was hard because although it strictly taught me to not express my obsessions even in the slightest to any friends ever again in my life, it got annoying when I was talking about something totally different but just happened to be slightly similar to my obsession. For example, I was obsessed with window-cleaners who had a white van, and if I was to say something like, ''my dad was trying to pull out of our drive but there was a white van stuck in the way'', she would, you know, even though there's a thousand white vans about and I wasn't even thinking about my obsession or intending to talk about my obsession.

Now I have got different friends who don't know about my current obsessions (I don't have an obsession with window-cleaners any more. I have hinted to them that I liked something but they don't know it's an obsession to me and I have learnt not to talk about my obsessions so much to friends so I'm OK now.

Theres a big difference between hiding and not volenteering infomation, now a days I rarely volenteer information about my special intrests unless it fits well within the context of the interaction, someone asks, is interest also etc. It would be best if you could find a free accordion or buy it yourself, the hardest part for me anyway was usually the asking for money to fund my special intrest, I got a job young so I could skip this part. Try Freecycle, Kijiji, classifieds, ebay, Pawn shops, thrift shops etc. anywhere undervalued things like accordians are dumped and sold for next to nothing.

I always disliked my singing voice and voice in general and always refused to sing all my life, perhaps thats part of why I have been drawn to grunge and meny alt folk artists, most of them have poor voices too! And people love them for it.

I agree in that it's really tough to hide special interests. I wouldn't suggest not talking about them altogether: you absolutely need an outlet. From reading this thread and discovering that you're really into certian kinds of music, you can always try reaching out to people on last.fm who have similar tastes as you. People there are very friendly and I get messages from them all the time: I'd say that would be a great place to start for you.

Another option is to find a professional that can act as someone you can "vent" your special interests to: this was a therapy for me that was in place for me as a kid when my special interests took over my life. I also "vent" about my current special interests to my current therapist and find it extremely stress-relieving and liberating for me. Perhaps you could enlist the assistance of someone who understands ASD and is willing to listen as well. Just some thoughts

I have had to hide a lot of special interests over the course of my lifetime. Most recently, I tried to channel one interest into writing a book on the subject, but I found myself wanting to discuss it even more. Then, my husband started saying that no one wanted to hear about my interest, and I continued writing in secret until I burned out. Now, many people around me are urging me to finish the book, but their interest hasn't been adequate to resurrect my own passion for it.

Were I to do it over again, I wouldn't have buried my interest or tried to keep it to myself, because doing so made me feel it was something to be ashamed of--which, consequently, has made me ashamed of myself. Our identities are inextricable from our passions, and hiding the latter means negating the former. Get an accordian, and play--loudly, and often--and if anyone complains, realize that it is only because they are envious that you can do something a lot more interesting than anything they are doing!

As a child, I begged my mother for a fiddle. She signed me up for piano lessons, clarinet, voice...anything but fiddle. When I moved out on my own and found a job, one of my first purchases was an old fiddle, which I spent six months restoring on my own. I still can't play anything beyond a few basic tunes, but it is soothing to me and helps me to think. A number of my acquaintances have taken an interest in the fiddle too, and I enjoy sharing it with them when they want to try their hand at playing. Even if I am not the best fiddler, I am far better at it than any other instrument I tried, because my interest has always been genuine.

As a writer I collect odd bits of information about all manner of odd or unusual topics in the same manner that other people collect stamps. I can certainly empathize with a reluctance to share your knowledge/interest with others while at the same time struggling to suppress your enthusiasm for something that you find to be unimaginably cool and which other people simply do not comprehend. It can be disappointing and frustrating, even embarrassing, to share something I find really interesting with someone only to realize that they are looking at me like I am some sort of alien life-form. It hurts, doesn't it? You don't have to be Autistic to experience that.

But here is the thing. The failure is not on your end. It is on theirs. They do not have the gift that you have. They can't see what you see. You have to dumb it down for them. You have to explain it in ways that their feeble imaginations can grasp. Can you overcome their limitations? Only if you try. Each one of those discreet bits of information that I thought was cool and other people just didn't get is like a single piece in a jigsaw puzzle. I take all of those little pieces and assemble them together into a larger picture when I write my stories. Suddenly, those weird bits of information now become cool to other people because I have strung them together in a format that they can understand and relate to. If I hadn't first experienced the joy of discovering all those disparate pieces of information they never would have gotten the joy of discovering the story. I did that, not them. Without me they would be just the same as they were yesterday and the day before. Their lives would be lesser because I let their failure become my own.

You mentioned that you also listen to Electronica. Have you ever considered how you could combine your accordion music with other styles of music or instruments? One of the newest musical trends in my area is Electro-Swing which is a style of music combining traditional Swing with contemporary styles like House and Hip Hop. If you've been to a bookstore in the last year you have seen an explosion in the Steampunk genre of fiction. Steampunk (as a literary style) combines classical Victorian era tropes and conflicts with modern punk sensibilities and resolutions. Both of these examples illustrate combinations that were unheard of before some creative, adventurous soul chose to step away from the herd and try something different. How do you know you do not have the seed of the next musical evolution inside of you? I readily admit that I am not a musically minded person. I cannot play an instrument nor can I carry a tune. I cannot hear the joy you find in accordion music unless you share it with me. If you do not share your interest that excitement and that joy is something I can never experience. See, you think you need these other people to give you their support and say nice things about you but the truth is that they need you much more than you need them. You can always say nice things about yourself but they cannot do what you do. They need you. You do not need them.

I'm not going to tell you there won't be some people who will laugh at you or bully you. There are always small-minded people out there who are going be afraid and who are going to feel threatened by anyone who aspires to be more than just another sheep in the herd. I'm not going to tell you that it isn't going to hurt when they do it either. It does hurt. We all want to be liked and it is scary to think you are alone and without support. I will tell you that you will never be happy until you are true to your own talents. The hurt will not stop if you can just blend in with everyone else. The hurt will only stop when you show the world the great things you can do.

For anyone who says the accordion is too strange or whatever... ask if they've ever heard of Weird Al Yankovic. That ought to shut them up for a while.