Anxiety

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Let's face it, we all have this thing called anxiety. But do you have it worse than normal? Let's ask it here.
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I tend to worry about a lot of things; including if I've done something, if I've put off a friend, or something like that. But most of the time, these worries never come to pass.

I don't think you can have Autism and not live with an unnaturally elevated anxiety level.

We are oblivious to many social cues, so are frequently ignored, or verbally and psychologically abused for our differences and inappropriate reactions. If we take something literally, not immediately realizing it was sarcasm, we are treated as stupid. If we do something differently than others do it, because our alternative method works better for us, we are told we're doing it wrong, even if we're getting the job done efficiently and on time. When someone disrupts our scheduled routine and we become agitated, we're told we're being unreasonable, stubborn, obstinate and childish. If we're thrown into an uncomfortable or unfamiliar situation and put under stressful demands, then suffer an emotional meltdown, we are told we're uncooperative, hostile and impossible to deal with.

When that is the day-to-day state of your life, it seems to me only natural to expect a person to be constantly on edge, stressed out and to have a generally negative and gloomy point of view. How could you be otherwise? We worry incessantly about all sorts of things, because in our normal experience, so many things DO go wrong, you can't help but be eternally vigilant for the next thing that's sure to blow up in your face.

It's hard for me to describe how it effects me. I know I don't handle stress well, I have meltdowns because of it.

it depends on the type/cause of anxiety,some of us on the spectrum are immune to social anxiety, whereas others dont get anxiety triggered by change/unpredictibility.
the LD pyschologist of mine says autism [as in the whole spectrum] affects the arrousal system and people on the spectrum have high arrousal systems to varying levels; this is what triggers all sorts of issues such as constant states of anxiety,hyper vigilance,paranoia etc, mine had shot up so high from long term online bullying it even caused severe paranoid schizophrenia to the point the nieces of mine [both two years old or under] were put on some social services protection list so am legaly not allowed to be around them on own; family have to swap with each other if they need a piss....though because the cause was autism and the arrousal system am not diagnosed with schizophrenia.

I don't have a lot of anxiety, not like high levels that some autistic people constantly have.

I don't understand that, but it seems very difficult to live with lots of anxiety all the time.

I have high level of anxiety.
Not socially per se, as I am quite withdrawn from people, but due to attachment disorder additionally I create social anxiety to people who qualify as attachment-figures.
But there are not many.
With other people I do not feel anything and don't care.
High levels of anxiety also due to severe sensory integration issues, nervous system is just "freaking out".

I have pretty severe anxiety. It is bad enough that if I am not properly medicated for it (currently on an antidepressant and an anti-psychotic) others can observe me shaking.

I have generalized anxiety, social anxiety, anxiety about specific things (not quite full-blown phobia level, but close) such as heights and fire, some obsessive fear thoughts (luckily without serious compulsions or rituals though), anxiety about leaving the house, and occasionally have panic attacks. I pretty much am a mixed bag of anxiety types.

Anxiety is really messing up my life right now-- it's probably the number one reason I don't have a better job, that I'm not living independently, and that my quality of life is pretty crap. (The number two reason is anxiety's best friend, depression, but that's another story.)

How does one normally keep anxiety at bay?

Yeah, I definitely have it pretty bad. Before I learned I was an Aspie, it got so bad that I couldn't get a job, or even leave the house. I was constantly terrified of being attacked, or hurting other people, or making a choice I'd regret. So I stayed away from everything.

It's been getting better, now that I understand the way I think, and the reason I react to things the way I do. I've already developed a few coping mechanisms and the like. I'll be a problem for a while, but I'm figuring it out as I go.

For me the best solution has been medication... still trying to work out the right dosage, but other "natural" methods (e.g. deep breathing, keeping busy, etc.) were short term fixes at best (like, minutes).
Trying to let out the "crazy" in contained, scheduled bursts works well for me too... I have a habit of picking jobs that involve a fairly long commute, so I kind of let myself blurt out everything on my mind until I'm more relaxed.

I could use some of that.

It's a constant for me, to the point I'm almost unaware of it. I'll end up shaking or just crying if I get too overwhelmed, but that's just a ratchet up from my base level anymore.

I was once told that I was not happy unless I had something to worry about. Pretty accurate really.

I constantly worry about my special interests. My constant worrying prevents me from indulging and enjoying them to the fullest extent. Here's how my internal dialogue goes:

"Wait a minute. I'm not thinking about this special interest 24/7. That must mean I'm not obsessed with it. If I'm not obsessed with it, then that means I must not really enjoy it. If I don't enjoy it, then that must mean I'm faking it/forcing myself to like it. I need to find a genuine special interest!"

Then I will do some research and come across something that catches my attention, and then I will think "Wait a minute. I'm not thinking about this interest 24/7..." and the whole thing starts all over again. This happens so often that I will frequently become convinced that I have no special interests and that I must not find anything interesting. This causes me to become very upset.

Even if I manage to quell the "I'm not thinking about this 24/7" thoughts, there are usually several more that pop up in its place. Here's a couple of examples from my interest in video game characters:

"How am I supposed to talk about this interest with other people? No one is going to understand why I have an obsession with characters from games I don't even play. They're going to label me as a poser. I shouldn't like video game characters anymore..."

"I love anime-style and/or yaoi art of Amnesia The Dark Descent. Some fans object to that. If I tell people I like it, they're just going to make fun of me. I shouldn't like this anymore."

The anxiety that this type of thinking produces even manifests in other ways (including physical ones). My lower legs are very tense; I have stiff ankles and frequently get toe cramps. I also clench my teeth and experience frequent jaw pain. I periodically break out in hives. I get nauseous when I do anything outside of my routine. Meltdowns occur more frequently than they used to; sometimes as often as every day in a row for a solid week.

I'm already on anti-anxiety medication, and have been since the age of 14. It prevents me from having panic attacks, and I used to think that panic attacks were all there was to having anxiety. But reflecting on all the symptoms and worries I've been having lately, it looks like I was wrong.

Last edited by IdahoRose on 01 Aug 2013, 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

My anxiety is not social.
I don't have social anxiety.

I was told that my anxiety issues are more likely GAD and most of all OCD traits.

Shrinks told me I have many OCD tendencies and they advised me to look for an OCD diagnosis by an OCD expert.

I have axiety...about girly girls.

To the point where i'm concidering permanent hospitalization over it...