Does everyone have Autistic traits?

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Discussion on another forum:
It started off asking if you'd date someone with Autism / Aspergers and then turned into "well, everyone has Autistic traits" and because of this, there supposedly should be no issue with dating someone with AS / Autism.

I said I find this is insulting and believe it's wrong to suggest that everyone is on the spectrum to some degree. And there were people saying "well, I'm shy; so I know how it feels. Therefore, I'd have no problem dating someone with Autism." I've met many people on the spectrum who don't come across as shy. (I know some do fake their confidence)

Saying "everyone is a little autistic" is wrong.
It is true that pretty much everyone has had "obsessions" or that some people are shy/introverted.
And yet those "obsessions" don't prevent people from doing everyday stuff and those who are shy/introverted don't have a social communication disorder.

When people have headaches they don't go to someone with brain cancer to tell them "eh, my head aches, I have a little of brain cancer too".

I found out I come across as shy to people at first; but after a while they realize I am introverted.

A counselor once told me that I actually am shy inside, but that I try to fake confidence and fake to be tough, but that at times she could see I was actually a shy and introverted girl that tried to hide her shyness.

I don't think this is true; I actually act shy at times but I think I am just introverted.

am completely against this belief,have heard it from many people in the care industry when theyre trying to act like they can relate to us.
unless theyre autistic they have got no clue what its like to be autistic,having some traits of introvertism or autistic relatives does not let them see it from our view either.
its like going around saying we have brain cancer when we get migraines just because its a symptom of brain cancer,or to use a less obvious widely used line,people saying they are depressed/have depression when they have a sht day.

having minimal similar symptoms to ASD does not mean have got any level of autism,nor does it give a moral right to self diagnose or to try and make genuine autistics feel like they are just flawed for their behaviors and difficulties.


[edit]
funny,have got the same idea with brain cancer example as chlov.

Autistics are human, so autistic traits that everyone has are really just human traits. They can only be called autistic traits if they're specific to autistics. The real question isn't about whether everyone has autistic traits, but about what similarities autistics have with non-autistics.

(Leaving philosophy aside) Tony Attwood wrote:

'Autism' is simply an internal human 'normality' with the volume turned up. We all have experienced moments when we aren't quite aware or when we are too aware to handle the world. Or moments when we aren't quite aware of the company we are in or so overly aware of it that it gets hard to function. We all have had times when we've had hardly any awareness of our bodies, even been out of them, or felt so in, weighed down by them, that we become hypercritical, eager to escape, tune out, or disappear. We have all had times when we've lost the plot, the why, the what or been distracted by the meta-reality inside our heads to the extent that we are suddenly jolted out of a daydream. So too, have we all had moments when we have been so aware that we have taken things in ... almost overwhelming, extreme detail. For me, the experience of 'autism' is not any of these things in themselves, but rather the frequency and extremity with which they are experienced and the degree to which these experiences affect how one expresses oneself and relates to one's inner world and the outer world. It's a matter of whether you visit these states or whether you've lived there.
from the Foreword to "Autism and Sensing, The Unlost Instinct" by Donna Williams

I think you make a really good point Pi Woman. Like she said, I think it is the degree and frequency and intensity of what we go through that puts us on the Spectrum. Everyone gets overwhelmed from time to time but we get overwhelmed pretty much all the time, that kind of thing. For us it's how we live everyday where for an NT it might be something they experience every blue moon.

I think you make a really good point Pi Woman. Like she said, I think it is the degree and frequency and intensity of what we go through that puts us on the Spectrum. Everyone gets overwhelmed from time to time but we get overwhelmed pretty much all the time, that kind of thing. For us it's how we live everyday where for an NT it might be something they experience every blue moon. But there are things that I don't think NT's have like how we see bright and hear everything or how for some of us time is not linear. Things like that might be Spectrum specific.

I think you make a really good point Pi Woman. Like she said, I think it a lot of it is the degree and frequency and intensity of what we go through that puts us on the Spectrum. Everyone gets overwhelmed from time to time but we get overwhelmed pretty much all the time, that kind of thing. For us it's how we live everyday where for an NT it might be something they experience every blue moon. But there are things that I don't think NT's have like how we see bright and hear everything or how for some of us time is not linear or how we have difficulty processing certain things like social norms. Things like that might be Spectrum specific.

Last edited by skibum on 05 Aug 2013, 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think that many nts automatically have to relate to others, even if they can't, because they are nt and can't help it.

My mom is always responding to me with ,"I know how you feel..." stuff. It's really annoying to me. I know a lot of people that do it, and they all say it's supposed to be comforting. When you're autistic, the last thing you want to hear is an NT saying they know how you feel x___x

I agree with what's been said, that it's the intensity that's the difference. Whilst I believe everyone may have a touch of autism, I think the intensity levels we have a very rarely ever reached by an NT; in any category.

I know a lot of NTs that are not so much better than me when it comes to relating to others.

It's such a complicated thing to explain, like trying to explain the colour blue. You probably know it deep down but kind of want to argue about it because you want it to be explained in words just to make sure. Even I'm like that.

But no humans are perfect. A quirk in an NT can be exactly like an Aspie trait, but not actually be an Aspie trait at all. It depends on the severity, frequency, behaviour affected, and everything else you can think of.

Everybody forgets things at times, it's completely normal, but that doesn't mean we've all got to be diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

You can have a sore throat come but you don't always get a cold with it, even though a sore throat is a common symptom of a cold or flu.

I am unaware of having traits unless someone points them out at which point I would become very self conscious, retreat and withdraw. I would rather be blissfully ignorant, it makes life easier.

I hate it when people say everyone has a little bit of autism in them, I hated it when it was applied to my autistic son. And now I hate it when applied to me.

I understand that its a weak attempt at showing 'solidarity' with us, but it just belittles everything we have to do through. When someone says "we are all a little Autistic" I want to ask them if they too have hypersensitivity to sound and light, do they also taste colours, do they also feel as if their skin is crawling with ants? I could go on and on but you get my point. Autism / Aspergers is not a personality trait - its a neurological condition that really messes up how you interface with the world, both physically and mentally.

I have friends who have a child with Downs syndrome. Apparently Downs are very similar to Autistics, and have the same neurological traits and learning difficulties. So much so that if you took away the physical features, you would be looking at a low functioning autistic person.

And indeed I often see remarkable similarities between their child and my son in terms of behavioural difficulties. Nearly everything I can say that my son has done they will say yeah Lacey does all the time, and vice versa. Its uncanny.

Yet you will never hear any neurotypical say "well I think I have a bit of Downs in me because I share some of their traits"

Possibly because it isn't cool to pretend to a bit of Downs like it appears to be cool to say you might be a bit Aspergers. In fact I suspect there would be a few on this site who would object to the idea that their condition might be Downs like, because it makes them seem less 'cool'.