What have people said to you that made you suspect AS?

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While I was growing up:

"Stop walking on your toes all the time!" -Mom
"You're weird." -best friend
"You're shy? Oh, I thought you were just stuck up." -classmate
"Why do you always just say 'fine' when I ask how you are?" -friend of family
"brillo-head" -friend's older brother's nickname for me (he thought my hair looked like a scouring pad)

When I was in college:

"There's something wrong with you." -Dad
"Oh, we thought you were a lesbian." -friend
"What are you, stupid? Why aren't you paying attention?" -friend

As an adult:
"Your grandma said you were such a shrinking violet." -Mom
"You were a great avoider of eye-contact when you were little." -Mom
"You used to line up all your building blocks and make a long line through the house." -Grandma

"You don't talk."

God that annoys me.

Mom: "You walk like Kramer (from Seinfeld) and you're so clumsy!"

Customers from an old job: "It's not the end of the world! Smile a little!"

A college professor from whom I asked a recommendation letter: "She understands the needs of quiet people..."

4th grade teacher: "Take a chance and speak up!" (sent me to speech therapist)

sister-in-law: "you're so rude! That's why you have no friends. You need to learn to shut your mouth."

In 6th grade Mom took me to a therapist and therapist said I had an obsession for a certain boy because I drew every outfit he ever wore and showed it to her, gushing.

My mom said I didn't seem to understand directions, but once I grasped something, I went more deeply into it than most people. Also said I walked and did the usual baby stuff later than usual.

Kindergarten teacher had me repeat the year because said my motor skills were insufficient. Had an adaptive P.E. class and occupational therapist that had me socialize with other kids; she suspected a vestibular processing disorder.

1st grade Speech teacher said I had a nervous tic.

Brother said I was "ret*d" because I still banged my head...said I needed to stop doing that at this age. Grandma said the "slow kids across the street" used to that.

Told by a former boss I didn't have enough common sense.

Most people tell me "Just kidding" when they tease me, even though I already know they are joking. I guess my facial expression doesn't show that I know they're joking because I always say "I know" and they don't believe me that I get it.

My ex told me I was naïve and unsophisticated and didn't know how to dress

Friends have told me I'm intense and serious and should have a beer and lighten up more.

Everyone who knows me: "You're so hard to go out to dinner with. You're so picky!"

Former student (I taught school): "You're crazy, Mrs. T." Me: "Why do you say that?" Student: "Because you always walk back and forth! I don't like that. You also lose stuff all the time and forget what you are talking about. That's weird."

In middle school, when I was being bullied, my mom called my counselor. The counselor said I needed to "stop being such a target." The boys who had been harassing me laughed in my face when he said that and they started calling me "Target."

I've been told I'm very logical, down-to-earth, low-key, low-maintenance, natural.

My husband said he liked the way I walk because it's "cute." He tends to make fun of me because he thinks my quirks are cute, but that shows me that I must be doing something odd.

My ex said I embarrassed him by the way I acted.

My friend in 8th grade said he was sick of hearing about my obsessions and made fun of what I wore behind my back.

Another ex said I was so naïve that he wouldn't be surprised if I ended up raped and knocked up (when I was 17)

I've been told I seem selfish and unconcerned about others

"I couldn't hear/understand what you just said" / "Talk louder"
"You're so quiet" / "You never talk" / "OMG he talked!"
"You don't have emotion" / "You're a robot"
"Don't take everything so seriously/literally"
"What's wrong?"/"Why are you sad?"
And some others, especially from the one close friend I had. These are more general.
Nothing people said made me suspect it, but I realized what people said fit it to an extent after reading about it. Still not sure though.

Since this has turned into things people said about your traits not specifically what they said that made you think you had it. I'l play along And they call us literal ha

You have a little bit of autism
(late 1990s my boss. I thought he had the quirk)

Wheres Waldo?
I have never watched the show and still do not get the reference but I figure it has something to do with nerdiness so I put it here.

You are not living up to your potential.

What is bothering you?

You work so hard

These after a class or program where everybody get complimented.
You persevered/tried hard.
Everybody else gets complemented for specific things

What surprised me about the posts so far are the specific references to Autisim and Aspergers people have had said to them. I did not have an idea that even basic knowledge was that widespread. I think it is generational. Most my age would not know esprecially about Aspergers

Well, the first thing that made me suspect AS was when someone asked me if I had aspergers.
Half an hour later I got another suspicion when I asked a friend about it and she said that she thought for years that I may be aspie.

Since then, there have been many small comments made about me that I just started to notice seem to suggest that I do come of as being a bit odd.

I've noticed that people sometimes talk about me as though I'm not there when I'm sitting in the same room as them (especially family). I've realized that it may be because I tend to not respond unless someone addresses me directly.

I've heard "You're so quiet!" and "You talk like a robot!" many many times. Especially the latter when I was young.
I've also gotten the "OMG! He speaks!" comment when I do say something. Any time someone makes a comment like that, I want to talk even less! I HATE IT!! !


I've also heard that I don't show much emotion, such as excitement.

I've been told that half my vocabulary is just grunts and sounds.
My niece has started asking me why I sometimes make "weird sounds".

A couple of people have commented on my lack of eye contact. One asked me why I keep staring at their mouth when they're talking.

Lots of things

"You tend to have this black or white, yes/no, 1/0 perception of everything..."

"(Rudin), I've been reading and I think you have Asperger's." <--- around my diagnosis

"Just a couple of posters with Aspergers trying to communicate..."

"You guys have no life." <---- My thoughts were, "keep it up soon you'll have no life"

"He's a psycho"

"You're so quiet"

"... you just said it in such a monotone voice..."

"I think you got Aspergers, (Rudin)"

"You're not like us" <--- Maybe this is the wrong planet then

"That's something someone with Aspergers would say"

"You're in your own world"

"He sounds like sorry, sorry, sorry" <---- That really annoyed me

"She doesn't know who he is because he doesn't talk often"

And so on...

Before I was diagnosed my ex boyfriend used to say ' are you sure you don't have a mental problem'?' Also people teaching me what to do in social situations; teaching me rules, I never realised they were even doing that till I looked back months later.
My step mum saying to my dad that she things there is something wrong because I 'don't seem to understand the consequences, don't read between the lines'.

I recognize the majority of the above comments from my own life experience.

Specific ones I recall are:

You're not exactly Mr Diplomacy, are you? (said by my ex-boss )

You know why I'm doing all the talking, don't you? It's because you're not.

When people ask how you are, they don't expect to hear your recent life story.

That's the first human thing I've ever heard you say.

This thread is 2 years old, how did you even find it?

I just wish I could delete all my old comments though. Or at least hide them so only I could see them. Threads I posted on when I was 15 keep getting bumped and I'm getting paranoid.

Oh, also "Freaking, that's the first thing you said I understand."

"I think you might have got Aspergers Syndrome"

There wasn't much else. For some strange reason, over my entire life, people haven't given me much criticism at all, especially of the destructive, angry kind that many of you have received. On the rare occasions that they did, it wasn't particularly to do with autism, as far as I remember, and I usually just concluded that there must be something wrong with them and let it go. Racking my brains for better examples:

My parents made some remark about me taking the long way round with things. Something to do with the way I'd moved my toys around in the garden to achieve a result that could have been done much more easily. I remember thinking that from my point of view I couldn't have done it any other way. They never explained it very well. Could have been some executive function problem.

A man said that I "didn't look very capable." He meant sexually, which was odd because at that time in my life I was quite sexually active. I think he meant that I didn't make myself look like the tough macho male stereotype. He was pretty upset at the time, being rather down on his luck sexually, so I figured he was just lashing out in desperation. I just felt sorry for him. Could have been an Aspie thing.

I remember my first wife (NT) rebuking me because I insisted on sitting down when we were in a public bar which was too crowded for the whole group to sit down. Everybody else was "doing the right thing" and standing up, but at that age I had trouble standing for long periods of time, it made me feel rather sick and dizzy. I just replied that the group probably didn't mind and that if they did, that was their problem (or words to that effect). I was annoyed that she'd been so bolshie about it, and it didn't occur to me to examine my behaviour. If people criticise me destructively, I tend to focus on their rudeness. It never occurred to me that I might have been seen as "not playing the game" - in those days I didn't realise there was a game, and even now I don't think I'd play it, if I still suffered from that sensory thing when I stand up for a long time.

My boss at work told me that his boss was disappointed that I wasn't cracking the whip with my subordinates. I didn't feel able to change that, because I had no clue about motivating people, and their recommended tactics (aggression) didn't seem fair, and still don't. He also said there was something wrong with my general performance but admitted that he couldn't put his finger on it.

As for this "you're......." thing that so many people here have had, it hasn't happened to me, apart from a few one-word expletives that never made much sense. Like I say, destructive criticism doesn't get through to me. If somebody wants to criticise me, I want objective details and examples, and a friendly, respectful approach.

"You are so quiet"
"You're weird" (Most of my classmates have secretly same impression as what my close friend told me)
"You're very sensitive to criticisms"
"Why do you always get lost?"(Literally)
"Can you volume up your voice ?" (Multiple persons told me for the nth time already)
"I haven't seen how you react when you're mad. "
"Why are you so clumsy??"
"You've got a huge vocabulary"
"I think you've got a problem with your melatonin for always being late"
"I hope you won't get offended but most of the time when I ask you something it takes long for you to respond and I easily get pissed off."
"You're very imaginative."
"Why do you often have anxiety when performing?"
"You're a gift from God"(A message I received from a friend when we're randomly talking about outer space and unicorns)
"You leave her because she's still processing the infos in her head."(A friend referring to me when talking to another friend)
"You're often paranoid. Don't over think too much"
"You're smart."


"You know, I was thinking we might have something in common. It's just that I'm more of an extrovert and you're an ntrovert. I can't really tell but we almost have same problems..."(When a friend whom I suspect to have Asperger's confronted me)

"I remember how you loved animals when you were young. And many nights we'd get tired of making you fall asleep at night so we'd instead show you the stars on the night sky."

"Why are you always shy when we're in other places?"