Is there really a point to life for autistics?

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sharkattack
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05 Oct 2013, 11:59 pm

qawer wrote:
Life seems to be mainly about socializing. It's about educating yourself, finding a girl-/boyfriend, getting married, and having kids who can continue the circle.

When you have autism all this socialization often is too difficult, doesn't mean enough for you, doesn't allow you to be yourself, etc. etc.

So I wonder what the point of life is when you aren't naturally sociable? Isn't it fooling yourself to think special interests can replace it?


I have found myself thinking that a lot too.

I am close to 40 I work it a crappy job I still live at home and I have only started driving.

I go through stages of depression but I also go through stages in which I enjoy myself.

Maybe there is no point to life but we will be dead for along time so we should use life while we have it.



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06 Oct 2013, 12:02 am

If sociolizing is just a means for surving and procreating to continue the human race, than that's the basic point to life for autisitic people too, right?


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SkyHeart
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06 Oct 2013, 12:12 am

those are stupid reasons to live. I do not live to socialise. I will not get maried. I will never be abel to drive. I do not have a job. we do not know if I will ever have one. there is more to life than wanting to be like every one else. I am most of the time happy. the thigns that make your life worth living are they things you like and love.



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06 Oct 2013, 12:16 am

Why on earth would you apply the NT definition of "worthiness" to your life? Some people don't understand my close connection to my dogs, but taking care of them gives me an important purpose in life. Find what makes you happy and focus on that. Don't try to fit into their square holes.



Verdandi
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06 Oct 2013, 12:37 am

(this is meant to be a reply to TheSperg)

Something I've found is that the things that I find meaningful that are difficult for me to access loom large in my mind, perhaps well beyond their actual importance.

Somehow, not being able to socialize has never been one of those things because I am not really all that fond of socializing. Social impairments do cause me distress, but not because I like being around people all the time and I don't really care about being single. I do kind of care about not having children, but not enough to actually look into having some.

If you start focusing on socialization as something evil yet necessary for survival then you'll end up like qawer talking about how autistics are all death-bound social cripples with no redeeming values, and I just see no value in going anywhere near that kind of idea.



Last edited by Verdandi on 06 Oct 2013, 2:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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06 Oct 2013, 12:47 am

The only thing that keeps me going is the pursuit of knowledge.
I don't think anything in the universe is for not. Collecting and transferring of information
is one thing humans do really well.
Also it seems as if the act of just looking at things, like in the double slit experiment can change
what happens in world.
I wonder about a bout the tree in the forest if nobody can hear it,
why have a universe if nothing is recorded.
Every thing that happens and every one here is important.
We live longer if we are stimulated.



Declension
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06 Oct 2013, 12:57 am

This has been bothering me for a long time. For "normal" people, life seems to be all about self-gratification, and (if possible) helping other people along the way. I don't resent other people for having these goals, but for some reason I can't get all worked up about doing stuff solely for the purpose of being happy. It seems really vulgar or something, and it seems to miss the "bigger picture". When you're dead, who cares whether you had an ambitious life full of achievements?

I like to focus on things which seem to have importance beyond my life. The big one is knowledge, especially knowledge which is abstract and always true, like maths or philosophy or computer science.

I think that this is one point on which religions have got a lot of appeal. Religions often get converts out of people like me, by saying stuff like "Haven't you notice how pointless and vulgar all this finite stuff is? We can tell you about the infinite stuff." Of course, I'm not sure that religions actually do know about the infinite stuff.



redrobin62
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06 Oct 2013, 1:05 am

I try not to think about why I keep myself alive, but if pressed, I'd say it's because I have unfinished business. Yeah. Having a family and a house and a mortgage and a retirement plan and investments eludes me, so I guess I'm keeping myself alive because I still have some things to offer the world - my writing and music skills. I suppose, to me, that might be enough.



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06 Oct 2013, 1:20 am

I have an inchoate sense of my purpose here on earth. I've long known I am supposed to find ultimate meaning and have been picking away at it most days, and have come a ways since it first occurred to me to do so [roughly at the age of 27]. this has made me a "student of life" in that I am not really living a conventional life so as to have more time to watch how other people live, in order to glean meaning 2nd-hand, and then integrate it with what other knowledge I've accumulated. gee, that was a ramble, wasn't it? :?



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06 Oct 2013, 1:22 am

The reason that keeps me going is paying back my family for raising me. I'm not planning on having kids, having 'nice' things, and socializing outside of these little circles like online groups and my job. And that's fine.

My tip is: work backward from what you are supposed to value and see the root of that, the people who have gotten you this far and use that as an impetus to work hard. Not the NT idea of the white picket fence.


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LupaLuna
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06 Oct 2013, 2:00 am

Declension wrote:
I think that this is one point on which religions have got a lot of appeal. Religions often get converts out of people like me, by saying stuff like "Haven't you notice how pointless and vulgar all this finite stuff is? We can tell you about the infinite stuff." Of course, I'm not sure that religions actually do know about the infinite stuff.


Still. It leaves the burning question. Why are we alive. What are we accomplishing. We are all mortal and no amount of work, money, power, fame, friends, prestige or knowledge can make us immortal. When are time is up. are time is up and we take NOTHING with us. not even are body.



Declension
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06 Oct 2013, 2:02 am

EsotericResearch wrote:
The reason that keeps me going is paying back my family for raising me.


Good point. Nobody is really a free spirit who can spend their life purely chasing after their own goals, because we are born into debts and relationships.

But here is the problem - there are some things you might do for the sake of your family which aren't just to do with money. For example, suppose that your parents expect you to start a family of your own, or else they would feel embarrassed to have a weird failure of a child. Could you do something like start a family and pretend that it is what you want, for the sake of your parents?



TheSperg
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06 Oct 2013, 2:04 am

EsotericResearch wrote:
The reason that keeps me going is paying back my family for raising me.


If you want to do this great, but you should feel no obligation to.

I'm a parent and I would strongly discourage my son from feeling he owed me anything.



AshTrees
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06 Oct 2013, 2:43 am

Isn't there a saying (or something like): It's the journey which defines us/ gives us purpose, not the destination.
If we were to achieve our goals (whatever those may be) we would have to find a new reason.
Even if you feel you don't have a purpose there are still things to enjoy from life.


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06 Oct 2013, 2:50 am

I'll add that just about everyone has existential crises at some point. It's not a uniquely autistic thing.



CyclopsSummers
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06 Oct 2013, 2:54 am

Verdandi wrote:
If you start focusing on socialization as something evil yet necessary for survival then you'll end up like qawer talking about how autistics are all death-bound social cripples with no redeeming values, and I just see no value in going anywhere near that kind of idea.


Well, perhaps for you that's satisfactory, but would qawer have started this thread if he were not wondering about finding those very redeeming values for a life with autism in a world that's geared toward (semi-)intense socialization? I can say 'I'm not gonna worry about mingling with other people' because I can camouflage and pretend sufficiently when I'm out in the world. But who says qawer is just as comfortable doing that?

The realisation that there really isn't a point to life that's set in stone, is probably the best thing that can happen to you. Anything goes from there on in.


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