what do you hate hearing the most from NTs?

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They don't have empathy. I am beginning to feel that no such thing exists and that they merely 'think' they know or understand what you are feeling when they do not. It is some kind of delusion that they convince themselves is reality. I have never yet had one NT fully understand what I am feeling, especially as I don;t share the same belief system as them. Because my belief system is different my emotional reactions are different yet they assume I am having, or would would have, the same emotional reactions as them. I do not.

Ie I am not afraid of failure and see it as nothing more than a learning curve. Yes I may have a moment of disappointment if I do not achieve the outcome or results I wanted to but instead of hating myself for not achieving the results I wanted I often become distracted by the "why didn't it work" instead. I am more interested in practical solutions than in emotionally beating myself up. Most NT's do not understand this and assume that I must hate myself because I 'failed' and to them failure is something to be ashamed of and avoided at all costs. They will then insist on feeling sorry for me...as they believe I must need the emotional comfort that pitying someone (in their mind) is supposed to provide (I hate pity, it annoys me and does not solve my problem if I have one...it is fairly pointless and is usually a way through which people look down on you and make you less than them in their minds. I prefer understanding instead).

Meanwhile I am trying to figure what happened, why I got the result I did and if there is anything I can do to change it. I care little for hating myself and prefer to learn from failure instead.

People are weird critters...

A list so long that if I tride to tipe it all out
it wood crash the server.

"Grow up"

"Get a woman"

"if you can fix a ipod how come you can't
push a broom?"

"ewww your creepy"

"you play with toys so you must abues kids"
THEN They turn around and call me
a child hater becuse I wont give them
stupid money for thieir stupid poopy old
baby shower.

"ret*d"

"Be a man"

"Man up and get married/get a date"

"Act your age"

And I live in the US?? Oh I thout it was a
free country, guess not.

O yeah everyone finding something dirty
with EVERY DANGBUSTED POOPING THING
I SAY!! !! STOP IT NOW!! !! POOPHEADFACE!! !

Pretty much!

It's worse coming from family, who know of my diagnosis, discount it , then criticise and humiliate me for behaviour that is directly attributable to aspergers.Or tell me that that "no one is going to chase after or pander to me if I dont make an effort" (read fall into their version of reality , send me birthday cards) but complain if I refuse to play happy families with their kids and buy them presents like nothing happened.

Hypocrites, totally lacking in empathy ^. O the irony.

"What's wrong?"
"Hello!"
"We'll keep your application on file."
"Whoa!"

When 'my' NT claims to be Neurotypical, it really means "I'm normal". The obvious implication is that I'm abnormal. There is always a condescending tone and a haughty posture associated with the reference (yes, I have no problem with interpreting tone of voice or body language).

Please define normal. Betcha can't!

"You live in your own head". Maybe I like it in there. Please stop trying to get in here with me.

"You're the dumbest smart person I know." Does no one realize that's an oxymoron? Does it make you feel better about insulting me or do you really think I'm stupid enough not to grasp your meaning?

"YOU need to change YOUR behavior for things to improve between us."

"The world does not revolve around you."
really irritates me when it comes from my mom

I was.accused today of thinking I'm the center of the universe. If that were true I would be hiding.

Have you tried meditation?

Are you getting enough exercise?

Are you getting out enough?

You think too much

It's all in your mind

Do you think you might be a bit obsessive?

{Name} is getting a lot of benefit out of counselling

You take yourself too seriously

You look fine to me

You're not autistic

Why are you on govt benefits?

You know that alcohol is a depressant?

Drugs aren't the answer

Buddha/Jesus/Whoever says...

I could go on. And on. Bored with it now. Am finally learning to slap them down - to demand respect as an individual.

"Are you normal?"
"Why, are norms very important to you?"

"How much did you pay for it?"
"They come in a wide range of prices."
"But how much did YOU pay?"

"It was stupid of you never to buy a home."
"It's stupid to assume that others' hard realities are just a product of stupidity."

''If your friend/partner does XYZ, then they aren't worth knowing''.

I have this stupid s**t come up so many times. Like I'm going to pick out a quirk in every person I meet, and hold a grudge against them for it. Aren't other people entitled to their own thoughts, feelings and opinions?

Of course, if a friend is actually being really horrible to me, then yeah, may call it a day. But otherwise, saying ''oh they weren't worth knowing'' sounds like an easy way out, and I will end up dead before I find the ''perfect'' friend/partner. And who is perfect anyway?

Yeah, I got that sort of stuff back at school from the other kids. One time they went a step further and actually asked a teacher:

"Is FMX... smart?"

It was like "smart" was some kind of a mythical concept to them! Like they've heard legends of these "smart" people, but never actually seen one in the flesh - which probably wasn't far from the truth at that school.



I like that analogy! I'll be sure to use it sometime.



A bit off-topic, but have you tried just explaining to them right from the start that your facial expression and tone should not be interpreted in the usual way? Yes, that would make them think you're a bit odd right from the start, but by the sound of it, that wouldn't be any worse than what happens as it is. Optionally, you could actually say you have Asperger's - but still make sure to explain specifically about facial expression and tone.

Ass-burgers. That's offensive.

And each one of them believes that they were the first one to think of it and it's the wittiest joke ever. .

It's not what they say exactly, but just that they're talking to me. I've usually worked in labour industries, and men talk is just filling in time. It's pretty easy and you don't talk a lot. Social talk is just too much hard work. You have to keep looking at what they're doing with their body, hands, eyes, face, and trying to figure out what parts are what they say and what parts are the opposite. I usually just smile and nod like an immigrant who doesn't understand the language. I don't mind talking, it's just harder than it's worth.

Oh yeah its...you

"How are you?"

"What's up"

"Can I help you find something?"

at checkout: "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

"Dude" (I am quite obviously NOT a dude)

"Are you sure?"

"You're so quiet"

"Other people are going to think you are ______ if you do that" (crazy, weird, strange, stupid, etc.)

"You're too picky" "Don't think so highly of yourself" "You just can't be pleased can you?"

"What did you do over the weekend?" "You really need to get out more"

"You don't have any children?! Why not?"

"You're not married?! Why not?"

"You don't watch tv?! What do you do?"

"Everyone is a little bit autistic" "ADHD isn't real" "You're just making excuses"

"You just need to do something to take your mind off things" "Let it go" "Get over it"

"You think too much"

"I'm just messing with you" (and whatever precedes this comment)