Asperger Syndrome: Could it be too much empathy?

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What more proof do you need that normal people are messed up?

+1

Empathy is not the same as compassion, sympathy and altruism. I'm capable of for example feeling bad for people or caring about other people, but I can't see things from other people's point of view or put myself in their place. If a person loses a loved one, I feel bad for them, but I don't feel sad unless I actually loved the deceased person as well.

no its the opposite.

many aspies dont feel empathy as strongly as neurotypicals.

I used to think that Aspies actually possessed a *superabundance* of empathy, but had difficulty communicating it. However, my understanding has changed through much introspection into my own mind. My hypothesis now is that what we Aspies think to be empathy is really a stacking of two things: 1) sympathy (very distinct from empathy since sympathy is still "I"-centered), and 2) sensory overload as a result of the emotions elicited by sympathy.

I wonder if any other Aspies here would agree with my hypothesis or if they have a different interpretation?

Most people, however, perceive me as very kind and loving. I try, I really do ... I'm not a mean person at all ... but I'm afraid that the truth is I'm a kind of actor. I had to take many psych tests for my job and the psychologists were afraid I was narcissistic and manipulative because the tests showed I lacked empathy. Never made sense to me. Since my Aspergers diagnosis I now know it's not narcissism. But my condition remains.

i'm nice and never mean to people irl but that doesn't mean I have a ton of empathy or sympathy. Even if I did, I tend to not express my feelings because consciously, I see expressing emotions as a weakness and exposing myself. Thats why I tend to not get emotional.


I don't like to make fun of people or insult people even if everyone else does. I try to understand or see the good in others. Because I understand I don't like it when people make fun of me or insult me so I tend to not do it to other people. At least irl; on the forums I could care less. Blame it on mob mentality.

I feel way too much empathy--the only problem is that I often misunderstand the emotions of others--that is I think they are feeling what I am feeling OR they feel what I would feel if I were in their situation. I am often, or maybe usually, WRONG.

When I was a child I couldn't watch very sad show's/movie's, because I would behave as if I were the charachter's, I had to turn it off because I began to experience the same emotions as the people on the TV.

I still have that problem today, but to a much much smaller extent.

Looks like people aren't going for my theory, then. I really do want to know what's going on inside me. I, also, couldn't watch many TV shows as a kid because I'd feel so sad for the characters. But was it empathy? Was it sympathy? Or is there really a difference between the two in practice?

Now I'm all confused.

No.

One of the key and earliest shown symptoms of not sharing with others is due to a lack of empathy.

Yes, you're exactly right. AS isn't an issue of "not feeling enough" it's an issue of "feeling too much" and trying to cope with that which usually leads to us developing coping mechanism's where we shut out as much sensory stimulation as possible which causes us to many times appear to be/or to become disconnected socially and in life.

Yes we will almost always see more than many people do because we're so hyper aware. I find that "acceptance" of this fact helps in day to day activities as most of the NT people aren't going to see things from my perspective. They can't...and neither of us is right or wrong in this matter...

Many times, which is simply human nature, we feel we "must" have a reaction to what we experience through our sensory perception when many times what we experience is simply information. I've found that viewing things from this perspective helps a great deal when dealing with others as well as dealing with my own "busy mind."

Don't worry you'll instinctively know, believe it or not, when you observe something that requires a reaction whether it's just an acknowledgement personally or something you need to act upon.

I find I care too much for other people. Like if someone asks me to do something I will dedicate my time to solely helping them that it becomes like a obsession and it takes priority over my own life. I think that's a positive about AS that I can focus so strongly on one particular interest and only then will I move on to the next thing. I think it's good to help other people though if you can, it's very self rewarding and without getting all spiritual or religious I believe if you do good things then good things will happen.

True, but the problem with this is getting taken advantage of by unscrupulous people...

Caring for people isn't empathy.

You need a certain amount of empathy to desire to show care for others, but it's not empathy itself.

Also, being kind to others isn't empathy either; that's just being kind to others.