Looking at people's faces closely, eye question

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Caseyfritz
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22 Oct 2013, 7:52 pm

A lot of the time when I talk to someone, when they talk back they look at someone else instead of me. It's weird. Anyone else get this? Do you know why this happens?



auntblabby
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22 Oct 2013, 8:10 pm

i would need to see you in action to figure it out.



Caseyfritz
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22 Oct 2013, 9:16 pm

Well to me I'm just looking them in the eye. Maybe it's too intense. I notice if I look away while they are talking to me and look back, they are looking at me for a second as though the only way they can look at me while talking to me is if I am not looking at them.



Caseyfritz
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22 Oct 2013, 9:16 pm

Well to me I'm just looking them in the eye. Maybe it's too intense. I notice if I look away while they are talking to me and look back, they are looking at me for a second as though the only way they can look at me while talking to me is if I am not looking at them.



auntblabby
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22 Oct 2013, 9:38 pm

you might be like me in that i have eyes that seem to drill through people.



Caseyfritz
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22 Oct 2013, 9:48 pm

So then this happens to you? Doesn't it annoy you? They look at the guy next to you while talking to you, that's annoying. But my looking people in the eye thing is recent, a few years recent. I practiced how to do it, so that I would appear more confident. But since I have aspergers, I am socially awkward and may not have the subtleties of the eye contact down right.



Caseyfritz
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22 Oct 2013, 9:48 pm

So then this happens to you? Doesn't it annoy you? They look at the guy next to you while talking to you, that's annoying. But my looking people in the eye thing is recent, a few years recent. I practiced how to do it, so that I would appear more confident. But since I have aspergers, I am socially awkward and may not have the subtleties of the eye contact down right.



auntblabby
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22 Oct 2013, 9:51 pm

hasn't happened in a long time, have since learned to dial down my gaze intensity and redirect it often but not too often as to appear shifty-eyed.



Caseyfritz
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22 Oct 2013, 10:08 pm

Hmm well perhaps that is what I need to learn to do.



loosewheel
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23 Oct 2013, 12:47 am

If you watch people when they talk they don't maintain eye contact constantly. They usually only glyphs here and there. Like already said, it's probably to intense. Certain words they will also look away, and if the subject is sharing of themselves they may not look you in the eye because they feel to vulnerable. There are lots of reasons why people do what they do with their eyes when they're talking. It's sort of an art form of its own.



Caseyfritz
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23 Oct 2013, 12:21 pm

Yeah, I am too focused on how their eyes are judging me to notice and take notes from how they make contact. But I am pretty sure the reason they talk to me and look at someone else is because they feel uncomfortable with the way I look them in the eyes. I will simply have to learn the art of eye contact. I also need to learn how to have better conversation skills and generally just socialize better.



auntblabby
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23 Oct 2013, 1:57 pm

or you could learn to settle for being a hermit. that is the far-easier choice.



babybird
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23 Oct 2013, 1:59 pm

^^You've gone back to your old picture.^^


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auntblabby
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23 Oct 2013, 2:00 pm

^^^
yes, it was more befitting of me. plus the time of the year, the holiday season and all.



babybird
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23 Oct 2013, 2:15 pm

^^I thought it might be a seasonal thing :wink:


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auntblabby
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23 Oct 2013, 4:03 pm

^^^
but it befits me like none other so i will keep it.