Social Interaction is like playing tennis

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Think about "solutions" or advice like "you need to smile more" or "you just need to get out there and interact". People want to talk about their problems until they can find their own solutions or closure. Coming up with a "solution" comes across a attempt to dismiss or minimize what they're experiencing. Sympathy is probably the best course of action.

Everyone has the capacity to solve their own problems. That doesn't mean they'll hit the correct solution the first, second, or tenth time they find themselves in the same situation; but that's their journey.

Hi Brannel, and WELCOME to WrongPlanet.

I struggle to understand why someone would share a problem with someone else with the motive of just getting sympathy rather than a solution.
Often people feel like they are a "victim" of a situation, so surely to offer sympathy by saying something like "Yes, I can understand why you feel that way" is only going to re-enforce their position on the Karpman Drama Triangle: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ear2psj1WNo

However, by offering a solution maybe I am in the "Rescuer" position.

All this stuff seems too complicated to me, but I HAVE TO do my best to understand.

StarCity - I forgot to mention one other bizarre thing that happens when I am with a group of people (which isn’t all that often). At one level, I hear a collective buzz of people’s voices. But, at another, I hear distinct “channels” of communication going on (at different volumes and pitches). I find it quite distracting. Often times, I find myself shifting (or multiplexing) between the conversations. What I mean is that I could be standing with one group of people, but listening to another “channel” that may not be so close by. Someone used to refer to me as “radar”, as I would inadvertently be listening in to the “wrong” conversation.

The film director Robert Altman(MASH, Nashville,The Player) capitalized on this phenomenon. Most directors film a conversation taking place within a large group of people as a tennis match. The metaphor is a good one. They go back and forth between the two characters and focus on just one and then the other, highlighting the dialogue volley between them. People watching the movie would perceive the filmed conversation just as Starkid describes. It is said that originally directors would have background characters say "rutabaga" over and over at different pitches and speeds to simulate an indistinct background crowd murmur.

Robert Altman decided that your way is much more realistic and natural. He developed the technique of multi tracking the audio in group scenes. Like you, he would allow multiple conversation tracks simultaneously on the audio and shift between them. This meant that the film audience would find themselves in the unfamiliar position of having the camera focused on two characters having a conversation but the audio would sometimes shift away from them and highlight the "wrong" channel of a conversation between peripheral characters. Some viewers enjoyed how much this is like real life. Others complained that having their audio focus randomly pulled to peripheral characters made it hard to follow the main conversation and was distracting. Many people do in fact tune out peripheral audio in real life and disliked Altman's style that forced them to experience groups of people talking like....well, like you.

So if you want people who single track with ease and don't understand what you mean to get some idea, play them a Robert Altman film. I recommend The Player. It is set in Hollywood and features scenes at crowded restaurants where the audio track will suddenly focus on the conversation at a distant table- something that may happen to you in real life.

I also find myself switching channels in group conversations but find this enjoyable rather than distracting. So I am a Robert Altman fan. Many people aren't (if they've seen his movies) because they are irritated rather than entertained by this channel switching.

Hi Janissy,
The name is: StarCity NOT "Starkid".
I appreciate that I may behave like a kid at times, but I am an adult.


I'm not suprised that that is the way that social interaction is shown in movies as that's the way it is.
One person says something; then someone says something in response, and then the "ball" "knocks" between the characters.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xohs0A5tb0[/youtube]

Woops sorry about that. There is a WP poster with the username Starkid and I got the two of you mixed up.

No worries

Janissy, That sounds like an interesting movie and one I need to see.



Let me clarify. I find it distracting when I am actually trying to hear what a particular individual is trying to say (and process the words they are saying). As I am unable to focus, with all the other competing “noise”. With that being said, when I get bored (which is often when I attend such functions), it can be interesting and sometimes amusing (as I effectively eavesdrop on other conversations).

Let me ask a question. I assume this single tracking versus multi tracking is not an Aspie thing. Correct?

I don't think so, not that I found any research. I do it and I'm not an Aspie (although possibly BAP). I suspect the director Robert Altman does too since that's what he perceived as natural, much to the annoyance of some but not all moviegoers.