Are NTs as good at reading people as we think they are?

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Sometimes I think psychology is really dangerous.

Put succinctly, NT's can be good at reading other NT's and Aspies can be good at reading other Aspies. Having two people with the same neurology/wiring doesn't imply both parties will be accurate 100% of the time and we all know that both wirings use different mechanisms to read one another. In terms of an NT/Aspie conversation, I would suspect the margin of error is larger, regardless of which side of the conversation you lie. There have been times where I tell a joke and an NT will completely miss the cue. Conversely, my sarcasm detector isn't as sharp as the average NT. Either way, I don't think being NT means all people can automatically be read.

Some people are very good about hiding their nervousness. When someone is giving a speech or anything that has an audience, the audience will more likely pick up on their nervousness if they really show in their face. My roommate from college was a music major. She played the clarinet, and she had to do her junior recital. I knew she was nervous about it beforehand, but it didn't show until she started making faces every time she messed up a little. I honestly wouldn't have known she had messed up if she hadn't made disappointing expressions when she did.

If a speakers voice is shaking when they talk or if they are talking too fast , it is a safe bet to assume they are nervous. People can pick up on that.

Just because someone is NT doesn't mean they don't have difficulties in reading people sometimes. Nobody is perfect at reading other people, and everyone makes mistakes.

Out of curiosity, what have you been made to believe about NTs as far as how well they read people?

I can only tell if someone is 1) happy, 2) sad, 3) angry. All the other subtle stuff in the middle I can't read at all, so my mind just says, "danger! watch out!" Anyone know what I mean?

I'm the same, it is quite scary to know that there's so much information right in front of you that you can't see but everyone else can.

If NTs were perfect or even good at reading people, they'd get along perfectly with everyone and not have any conflicts at all with people, which is far from the truth. I have gotten to know quite a few NTs over the years (friends, former friends and people associated with them) on a fairly intimate level, and conflicts involving not being able to understand or read people are more common than you'd think.

I have learnt that I am quite quick at understanding people with what they're talking about. When my mum was saying how her sister was in a minor car accident, she explained how it happened and I got it straight away. When she explained to my (NT) dad, she had to explain it in more detail until he got it, and she also had to with her other (NT) sister too. It didn't need explaining in too much detail for me. I don't like it when people say things in too much detail anyway. I just like them to get to the point.

Yesterday my mum's sister and her boyfriend had an argument, and we all know what my aunt's boyfriend is like, he gets into rages then acts like it never happened. When my mum told my dad about the argument, my dad said sarcastically, ''he'll forget it by tomorrow!'' And my mum said, ''forget it? He won't forget it.'' I knew she had took it literally, so I said, ''he meant her boyfriend would act like it never happened.'' And my dad agreed and said, ''listen next time!''

So yes, NTs do make mistakes.

I'm NT.

I'm fairly good at reading people in the moment. I'm 43 and this is something that I've gotten much better at over time. If I think about it I'm fairly good at assessing people's motivations.

Some people are much more talented at this than others. I would say that for me this is much more of a learned skill than a natural talent.

However, not all people have the same motivations. Some people have bizarre motivations. Nor do people always have predictable reactions to any given situation. Some people have excellent masking skills. Some people are excellent liars. I am.

I read these books so I can develop a better understanding of myself and strengthen my self control.



I'm not much better than that most of the time. I'm gradually improving. Like working out when I'm boring someone by talking about my obsessions. And I know how bad that is because I've listened to other aspies talk and their obsessions were different from mine.

BTW, I love listening to J. S. Bach too.



Maybe you're just really good verbally.

Today I met an aspie who's incredibly good at reading people. He's a career councilor. Whenever I tried to hold something back he could always work out what it was. He said he'd studied neurolinguistics. Now I think he was trying to implant motivational suggestions into my head using neurolinguistic programming ('80')

When I got home I went onto Audible and downloaded several books on neurolinguistics. However these may reduce the effectiveness of his motivational techniques.

I think the illusion of transparency does not mean they have trouble reading people.

I think NT's can read people better than us in real time because they gauge responses, process the response they've seen, and re-adjust their own response to deal with the responses they see and so on... They seem to be able to do this as it is all happening. I cannot do this, I never adjust my response based on one of their responses, I just carry on in my own line of talking and find it hard to even think about what they are thinking.