I hate Asperger's

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It seems the ones who hate it have jobs and are probably around people more, and so don't have much downtime.

I'd probably be driven crazy if I have to work, because I can't work.

I have epilepsy too. And it's always a surprise to see how worried people become after I casually tell them I had a seizure. Yeah yeah, paralyzed, again, waist down. For about an hour. And then I will uncomfortably wriggle.

I know I'm in the wrong situation. People won't even believe I have autism. Of course, I shouldn't expect anything less from someone who denies their diagnosis's except when they want people to not be so angry with them.

Well my ''Aspie'' obsession is bus-drivers. Not how buses are made, not memorizing routes, just the people that drive the buses in a particular company. I would be a bus-driver, but it involves dealing with the public, and I will get people asking ''but if you can deal with passengers then how come you get really anxious about dealing with customers in a shop?'' Also I'll have to have a lot of experience to be a bus-driver, which could take me years to build up, since I am slow at learning things and gaining confidence. Then by the time I do pass all those tests, I'll probably lose interest by then and not want to do it. I think I would love to work somewhere where I have to get a bus to - but then I'll get people lecturing me like anything, because everybody says that a local job is always best, so why give up my local job to work somewhere where I got to travel?




I agree with you - especially about the bit in bold. That's how I've been feeling about my AS being said out loud in front of people.

The next time I start in a job, I'm going to tell the people in the office about my condition, but ask them to keep it confidential in the office. I feel more comfortable in just telling people I have a learning disability in those words, rather than telling everyone the specific information all the time. I've learnt that it doesn't pay you to be too specific. I feel that by telling people I just have a learning disability is far less embarrassing, because then people just take you as they find you, knowing that ''learning disability'' can mean anything. By knowing that you have Asperger's Syndrome or an Autism Spectrum Disorder just sounds too specific for a high-functioning, verbal person on the spectrum, and people who don't know much about it just assume you have all these stereotypes, without getting to know you first. And I don't have any of the AS stereotypes. I don't suddenly have a meltdown on the floor when stressed, and I don't start flapping my hands about, and I don't take everything literally. The list goes on.

Well, from here, that sounds like an eminently reasonable and achievable goal.

And as for working with the public, the interaction required to handle change and print off a ticket is pretty minimal and predictable, so I wouldn't worry about hypothetical questions that might never get asked in the first place: Only you can know what level of social engagement is practical for you.

I don't think you need much experience to become a bus-driver, most of it is down to passing the practical requirements of the test to get your enhanced licence, and you then gain experience on the job, so to speak:

https://www.gov.uk/become-lorry-bus-driver

You say you might lose interest while pursuing this idea: Well, I suppose you might, but if it has been a persistent preoccupation of yours for some time, then I'd suggest you probably wouldn't.

Is that an ADHD thing? The hyperactive kind or ADHD-PI? Aren't aspies supposed to have a problem with that?

I'm wondering because I'm not into text walls either, I need spaces between paragraphs too. I don't have a problem with long texts, but with the lack of space. And just for the record, I like reading.

For that reason I don't want an e-reader or Kindle. I need pages. I hate reading the Kindle versions of Amazon's "look inside", the versions based on the paper version are so much more reader friendly!

It depends on what types of symptoms you have, and how impairing they are. I think over time the diagnoses will be broken down into sub categories. Some are far worse than others.

This thing really bugs me too: 'If you can do X, why can't you do Y? It's basically the same thing.'

It's not the same thing to someone with a different neurological make-up. For example, answering the phone is not the same as answering an e-mail; there are completely different skills involved. It would be like an AS person asking a NT buddy: 'If you can kiss that guy you just met on the cheek, why can't you kiss him on the mouth? It's basically the same thing.'

The little pigeon-holes NTs group stuff into are based on a system of logic defined by them; i.e. others of the same neurological make-up.

Between kids and grand kids, there are 11. They are all amazingly good looking [how do I know I am not being prejudiced? Because this is a common scenario: Person, THESE are your kids/grandkids?They are so beautiful.[look at me with a furrowed brow] They must take after your late husband! They are all funny. They are all kind and giving and intelligent.

My NT granddaughters and daughter, though, seem to have their own fan clubs. My daughter jokingly says that she has a "rich persons problem" in that so many nice [and rich, and all the keywords for succesful catch] men are madly in love with her.People come upand ask for her autograph when she goes to California or back east because they figure she MUST be someone. People love her bubbliness and, well, everything, Oldest granddaughter, it's the same.

Middle son is probably the least physically attractive of my kids [still very nice looking] and women also fall at his feet. He is the type who goes to 4 job interviews and gets 5 job offers out of it. he goes to a professional sports game and the next day he is dating one of the cheerleaders.

Now we get to the autistic kids and grandkids. one beautiful, sweet,kind, talented and intelligent grand daughters gets asked out fairly often,but, OOPS,it's just a joke. And HAhaha, how could SHE think ANYONE would want to date a pig like HER. Just like me [and why do they still do this?] she hates when teams are chosen because she is invariably the last one chosen. We go to see her in a class production. When the other kids turn to the left, well, she turns to the right. And I hear the other kids snigger about it afterwards. But Wait! One of the 'popular"girls also turned to the right,and that is so cute and cool. For her. Not for my grandaughter.

ALL of my kids and grandkids are involved in feeding the homeless in Denver. They all have hearts for those who are hurting. The reaction by other kids? Well. with my popular NT kids, that is just one more thing that makes them so awesome! For my autistic kids, one more weird thing about them [" what are you trying to catch some disease? No, aren't you afraid of giving THEM some disease?"

This all saddens me. This all sickens me. This makes me uncomfortably aware that I can [and do] have fantasies about "getting back" at anyone [including other children] who hurt my babies.

My kids and grand kids are all beyond amazing. Each and every one of them is by far my favorite [in their own way] There is no reason that my kids should have to wish they were "normal." None! I just wish they would be allowed to be themselves without being punished for it. It'snot the neurology of the autistics that needs to change.
I better go before I get pissed [er]

I wish I were normal.

OR

If I have to live with this curse, I wish I naturally had a different attitude towards it. And no, it is not something that I can change tomorrow. I could try hard to make myself see life as an Aspie in a different light, but then suddenly an unexpected bout of depression will come over me and I'll suddenly fall back into my old attitude again, and all the anger will probably build up underneath and then come all out when the sudden bout of depression comes. Who knows, it might make me do bad things, like go on a rampage, punishing everybody who have it better than me. No, I don't have it in me to murder, thank God for that. But I would love to push people over who are luckier than me. But I know it's not acceptable and deep down I would never want to make anyone feel upset like that.

Or I just wish I were normal. Somebody without Asperger's. I think I was going to be normal - until I had the stupid MMR injection. Yes I do strongly believe that it was that what caused me to have Asperger's. I just know it. I often feel like I was supposed to be an NT. I can feel the NT I was supposed to be inside me, screaming to get out. This is why I get so depressed over lack of social relationships. It is the only thing what I get depressed about. I just wish these social issues would go away. I hate all the other symptoms of Asperger's too, but I think if I could demolish one symptom, it would be the social awkwardness.

I hate being autistic. In fact, I'd do anything to trade my life for a neurotypical's. I'd like to say I don't have it, but I have to, because, you know, people would call me a looney, cold-hearted oddball.
I don't understand what can be good about it. It makes living a nightmare sometimes.
The 'good things' I have can be found in NTs as well.

I agree.

I have strengths and weaknesses. The weaknesses of mine are similar to what an extremely shy person with learning difficulties would most likely have. My strengths are what the average person has. I am not particularly clever at anything. They say everyone is clever in their own way, which includes me I suppose, but whatever I am clever at does not define me as a genius or a gifted person or a person with genius traits. I am just intellectually average.

Parts I enjoy:
• obsessing over my special interests
• being introverted, not caring about having a 'social life'

Parts I don't enjoy:
• inability to focus a lot of the time
• basic life skills are a struggle
• sleep problems

I don't believe that NTs have it great with a stress-free life. I just want to be NT because it's the neurological majority and it makes life easier in that respect.

Just imagine you living as a fly in a bee's nest. Sure you can fly just like the bees, but life is still awkward living among bees and having to do everything the bee way otherwise you're an outcast, and you've either got to learn to put up being an outcast or you'll get depression over it. You won't be able to make honey like your bee friends, although you could learn.

OK the analogy is not relavent to logical real life but you can still imagine.

for me its a description of the many issues i have. it is what it is.

Being a cat in a dog's world ain't easy.

But would a cat ever seriously contemplate that he would rather have been a dog?

Personally, I think a cat has too much integrity for that, he is a king, but only as long as he acknowledges and fully accepts his innate nature.

The only thing that could ever truly take away his integrity and desire to live was giving in, by denying it.

Well, I for one definitely feel more like a cat-dog (dog-cat) hybrid than a cat, and given an actual opportunity I would pick being a dog any day. Nothing would make me happier than waking up one day to the news that they had found a cure.

While I can certainly relate to the sentiments expressed in "I hate AS" posts, I for one don't find them encouraging at all. I don't want to believe I'm a lesser or defective human being as a consequence of AS. I'd love to believe it has some kind of silver lining that I can exploit to my own advantage. At least let it be something I can overcome.