How common is it for people with ASD's to be aromantic?

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that is my exact standing on things. I hate anything that is cheesy, true romance should be thought up by the individual not taken off the store shelf. It is for that reason that I dislike traditional valentines cards with hearts and bears on. Last year I was with someone who understood my disdain of traditional cards with soppy messages. He bought a card with a load of romantic words on it and crossed them all out with a marker pen, then wrote inside "Happy Valentine's Day! I think you are OK!" I knew he loved me, but I found it really sweet that he had taken the time to do something for valentines day that would make me laugh and not make me feel uncomfortable like a traditional card would have. To me that was true romance.

Personally, I never understood the concept of romance. I always figured that it was a thing that males did to “pursue” (or “wow”) females. I always thought it was a bit odd, so I simply ignored it (as a waste of time). I never considered this to be an Aspie thing.

What's the difference between asexual and aromantic?

I can't speak for everyone, but I don't care for typical romance that much. I would rather someone be unique and honest with me rather than reel off rehearsed speeches and do cliche things like buy flowers and organize candlelit dinners.
That being said, if anyone ever wrote me a poem, I might die of happiness.

I can buy flowers and call them and such, what irritates me is when no one sets a good definition on what they feel is romantic or affectionate.

I always had problems with this area. Not for lack of desire, but many of the fine points I missed out on, being generally an outcast/outsider in High School. Definitely desire both love & sex, but am a complete idiot when it comes to getting either.
Which was REALLY ironic in College since I had 2-3 girls who were outstanding by any standards hanging around. But romance? Seduction? Where was the Complete Idiot's Guide to these when I needed it!

Sincerely,
Matthew

I would have thought some of us would be hyperromantic, not aromantic. In my case, I see myself in two ways:

1) It's not that I'm incapable of romance. It's that it takes me a while to get comfortable to the point of being able to display those tendencies, by which point the other person perceives it as incapability and is on the retreat when I do hit the point of romance. Some see this as aromantic.

2) Having been criticized for being too slow in the past has caused me to try and do things to speed up the process. It worked...too well. Now the common response I get is that I'm moving too fast for people and need to slow it down. Some see this as hyperromantic.

Me, personally, I just see both sides to me and can't choose one. I do know that I am a romantic in some way, shape, or form, and that's that.

Same here in regards to high school. I never ever had any idea what to do outside of flowers and chocolates.

I guess I must be a rare bird, but for me cuddling and handholding/hugs/caresses and such are tastes of heaven.

Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction or desire towards anyone.

Aromantic means that someone does not have romantic feelings towards anyone.

They're actually very different.

I'm not really sure if I'm aromantic or not. I've only been in two relationships while I was in highschool and they didn't last very long.

I do know I'm asexual. I've had sex once, but I don't really feel a need (or want) to have sex. I also don't really like kissing. I'm not sure what kind of successful relationship I could have with a woman since I don't like things like kissing or sex.

I do, however, love holding hands, hugging and cuddling (with one person who I'm very close to), but that's about as far as I feel comfortable going.

My "ideal relationship" would be more like having a very close best friend. I just wonder if I'll ever meet a girl that feels the same way.

Double post....

Last edited by jetbuilder on 04 Nov 2013, 10:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I actually think quite opposite of the prevailing opinions in this thread. Affection, love, romance, sexuality I feel are things that could have a major impact on my life. I'm actually quite touchy feely and to think back on it, she must've felt like a lab specimen. I'm not quite as receptive to being touched, but I wouldn't turn down a pretty girl should they ever try baring very good reasons..

Unfortunately I also have to admit to living in a fantasy world. In reality I would find it challenging to give gifts and show affection beyond the physical. Remembering special dates could only be done with a calendar, but I wouldn't know it was important at the time. I also wonder if liking someone for their personality in my case isn't just rationalization for wanting to bed them. Expressing emotions will be strange, I wouldn't know what to do etc..

I also can't reconcile being with anyone who has had any sort of prior sexual experience, not limited to overt sexual acts. Similarly, too strong of an emotional, romantic attachment in the past will be a deal breaker. At 20 I can't imagine too many people would actually be both, leaving a very miserable and lonely me.

ugh, i have had a few boyfriends and they would say poetic things to me and its so annoying and its just so Phht. im all sex drive and no romance, i like food a lot to, food is my one love

I really enjoy being romantic. I can just never think of things to do that we haven't done before, so end up not doing anything, or doing things that are cheesy or cliched...

I always am paranoid about whether people want me to kiss them or touch them. Like, I'm afraid I'm either doing too much or not enough cause they haven't told me.