Help! Do I listen to my therapist, or do I remain Aspie?

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My current therapist wants me to get out of my mind and start connecting with more people. I've learned many good skills from him so that I can connect with people. I am pretty good now at enjoying being with people and looking them in the eye, and enjoying hearing about their lives.

But there are weeks that go by in which all I want to do is read or get involved in my current interest and be alone. My therapist thinks that when I do this I am "regressing." He wants me to be less of an Aspie and more of an NT. He is convinced that my "case" is so mild that I'd be better suited to basically being an NT.

I'm seriously confused. I have learned wonderful people skills with his help. Yet I am so happy in my head world.

Can anyone relate to what I am experiencing? Any advice?

If you are perfectly happy regressing, no reason not to regress.

LOL

*ahem* - sorry...

Your therapist thinks that he is doing a good job and that he is "fixing" you.

As I said earlier - it shouldn't be about him, it should be about you

Do you agree with your therapist's feeling that you are fixable? If not, it's walk away time.

But is it really regressing?

Only an idiot with book learning and no insight could make such a remark.

You cannot erase a neurological condition with Behavioral Therapies. You can teach an Autistic to 'ACT' social (only to a small degree), but you cannot alter their instinctual behaviors because they are HARDWIRED into the brain.

If you feel you've learned some useful social skills, good for you. Use 'em when you need 'em. But to act against the very nature of who you are, just because some headshrink says you should is ridiculous. Do what makes you happy.

You cannot "regress" back to your stasis state, because that's who you are That is the symmetric balance of your personality. Everything else is engaging in fakery and theatrics and you cannot sustain that indefinitely. It would be unhealthy to try, because eventually it's going to result in an emotional crash.

I'm almost flapping my arms from your response. Thank you.

Everyone needs downtime and do something they enjoy doing rather it's their interest or hobby and everyone wants to be alone sometimes, how is it any different for an aspie?

It seems like to me when you are an aspie, you lose your rights as normal people have.

Plenty of behavioural therapies change the brain. But it seems quite obvious that they will not alter an autist's brain in such a way as to make them not autistic.

If you put a stereotypical NT into a totally non-social world for an extended period of time, would they eventually regress (regress used the way the therapist is using it)? I honestly am not sure about this answer, but I DO want to hear what your therapist thinks about that.

A therapist viewing a patient's activities as 'regression' isn't lost rights, bachlover is free to ignore the therapist.

No.

You cannot change your basic nature. You are who you are, you may have skills you may wish to use, but that does not change who you are, and that is an Aspie.

I once complained to a friend about a cat I had at the time, I didn't like the way it left dead birds in pieces all over my garage, and several other things, and finally my friend just said "you can't un-cat a cat".

I think this situation is very similar. If you are an aspie, you will always be an aspie, and while you can be trained up a bit, you cannot un-aspie your basic nature

This. Absolutely this, very well put. I also found this very helpful to read, thank you.

Willard is wise.
I could not have put it any better.

I can completely relate. Try telling that to my mother. If I don't keep up the level and frequency of socializing she deems an acceptable minimum, she starts giving me grief about cutting myself off from the world and how this is not healthy and how "we need people" and so on and so forth. Like she is afraid I will reach some sort of critical mass from which there is no return. If only that were possible

I think you should only worry if you find it excruciatingly hard to re-join the world after one of your "personal time" periods. This is the only reason I attempt to keep up a semi-regular socializing routine, because if I didn't, I'd find it hellish starting up again. Like having to give up drugs, but in reverse I guess.

Hope you find a happy medium for yourself.

I would seriously consider employing a therapist who has an actual understanding of autism spectrum disorders. Your professional clearly has no awareness of your special needs. Taking time out is not regressive behaviour, it is a healthy autistic response to stress and pressure. Enjoy taking time out to recharge yourself

My therapist has also worked with me on "people skills" but that is so that I can be more comfortable when I interact with others, and so I can interact with others more if and when I feel like it.

There is no becoming NT non-sense. It is a way to decrease anxiety.

Taking a break from interaction at times is very healthy.

The skills he has taught you, assuming they're good skills as you say are very helpful for you to fit into society, when you need to. But there is a cost to using those skills, you have to live as though you're someone other than who you are, and this creates cognitive dissonance... That is you are essentially living a lie while you act NT. You know and believe one truth, but you act and you live another truth. The brain (and imho, the aspie brain moreso) has a hard time dealing with such cognitive dissonances.

If you DO NOT "regress" as your therapist puts it, you will be visiting him for more reasons than being an Aspie. I guess it would be a good way to claim a "cure rate" and keep your business at the same time.

Push your limits, by all means, try to be as social and normal as you can, you'll likely in the long run be better off for it. But never be afraid or ashamed of "regressing"
Only push your limits the hardest though, when you actually see that you have something to gain from that pushing, don't waste your energies on nothing.

The skills he has taught you, assuming they're good skills as you say are very helpful for you to fit into society, when you need to. But there is a cost to using those skills, you have to live as though you're someone other than who you are, and this creates cognitive dissonance... That is you are essentially living a lie while you act NT. You know and believe one truth, but you act and you live another truth. The brain (and imho, the aspie brain moreso) has a hard time dealing with such cognitive dissonances.

If you DO NOT "regress" as your therapist puts it, you will be visiting him for more reasons than being an Aspie. I guess it would be a good way to claim a "cure rate" and keep your business at the same time.

Push your limits, by all means, try to be as social and normal as you can, you'll likely in the long run be better off for it. But never be afraid or ashamed of "regressing"
Only push your limits the hardest though, when you actually see that you have something to gain from that pushing, don't waste your energies on nothing.