Did getting diagnosed actually help?

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The thing about this is that I am not pretending to be NT or making an effort to emulate NT behavior. Things just happen. I just pick up on social cues and respond naturally. I also notice that my need to stim goes away. I also notice that I think more about the conversation and less about me and my special interests. If I mention them I am able to just mention them casually. feel like I'm part of the conversation. I just feel extremely happy, but calm. This has only happened to me once or twice. I'm hoping that one day I'll be like this all the time. The funny thing is I still feel like myself. I actually felt more like my self than I feel 99% of the time.

I was diagnosed at the age of 35, so it had limited potential to affect my personal development.

In some ways it was positive. It provided a framework within which some (but by no means all) aspects of my personality could be understood as:
* Personal expressions relating to a clinical predisposition (my tendency to pursue highly-personal topics of interest, for example)
* Adaptive behaviours to some social limitations related to the condition, that were not simply matters of perverse personal preference (lack of interest in most other people, preference for one-on-one interaction, having few friendships but pursuing them passionately, contempt for popular fashions, aversion toward participation in group activities, etc)
* Psychological reactions to various characteristics of the condition (including a pronounced fear of committing social faux pas, which sometimes prevented me from even considering participation in some social situations, occasionally severe paranoia when I couldn't figure out how to approach interaction with someone, a tendency not to pursue potential personal relationships with women because I feared that my lack of the necessary emotional subtlety could lead to me being perceived by them as a sexual predator)

It also meant that I fell within the ambit of UK disability discrimination laws (at the time, the Disability Discrimination Act, now superseded by the all-encompassing Equality Act), even though I fell victim to such discrimination at work and when I raised a formal complaint about it was subsequently victimised as a result (I became ill with stress as a result and quit my job and by the time I was in any fit state to pursue my case to tribunal, the time-limit had been exceeded -- but if it ever happens again, and now understanding the relevant legislation inside-out, I will be immediate and decisive in my reactions).

It also meant that I qualified for the various disability-related benefits available under the UK's Social Security system, and this has been a Godsend, currently providing me with an income comparable to my earnings when I was last in long-term employment (which is more of a comment on the rotten wage I was on than it is on the supposed 'generosity' of the Social Security system).

It has meant that I have received help from NHS mental health services when my needs have become serious, where pre-diagnosis I was left to struggle on my own and was sometimes regarded by others as being deliberately antisocial -- indeed, following a major depressive episode last year, I am still under the care of a social worker, whose input and support has been invaluable

However

Knowledge of the precise nature of my disability's social aspects has tended to remove some of my social naivete, with the result that I sometimes shy away from some social engagements because I fear that I will be misunderstood.

It has also severely and adversely affected my outlook on my personal future, where before (again due to social naivete) I tended to be optimistic about my personal future and pursued such avenues as presented themselves -- nowadays, I tend to think: "What's the point? The odds are against me", even though I recognise this as being a potentially self-fulfilling prophecy

It has accentuated a personal tendency toward depression, due to my social difficulties being explicitly spelled out in an unignorable way, and the restrictions they impose on my actions being directly appreciable, whereas before I had no conscious understanding of them and so behaved as though they didn't exist

In all, it's been mixed in its results. Sometimes I wish I hadn't sought diagnosis at all, but it was important to me at the time, so I did and I must now therefore live with the consequences.

That certainly wasn't any intended implication of what I wrote, so if you have interpreted it in that way, I would politely suggest that you put such ideas to the back of your mind and read it again.



Like I said in my previous post to you, this perception may be highly mood-dependent, but your feeling that your ASD characteristics have disappeared is unlikely to be real by any objective standards.

I can associate with what you're saying (to a degree) -- in fact I bet most ASD people could in some respects.

Sometimes it just happens that way.

A nice warm day, a pleasant lie-in, a good meal, an evening down the pub and some quality conversation with a good and trusted friend, and suddenly your autism seems irrelevant.

It seems as though the 'prison' has disappeared.

But it hasn't -- it's just temporarily not at the forefront of your mind, and this can lead to self-observed changes in behaviour (e.g., less introspective thinking, greater conversational flexibility, more spontaneous actions, interactions on a more emotionally-responsive level (as opposed to being rationally-considered) that are completely unexpected, surprising and feel fantastic.

It's great while it lasts, but it doesn't mean you're not autistic -- It's just a temporary manifestation of some aspects of your potential for sociability that (due to the limitations placed by ASDs on your social imagination) you didn't previously perceive as being possible.

Anyway, I don't mean to be a 'downer'.

Again, if you genuinely feel that way, you ought to talk to your GP.

I was partly responding to other people.

I have other reasons to be suspiscious about being autistic. I just don't think like other people on the spectrum. I always feel like the odd one out when I'm around people on the spectrum. My NT sister feels the same way. She said that I am not like the other kids.

Reasonably sure this was directed at me, as I used the "NT emulation" phrase in my goofy bike riding analogy.

Fair enough, I missed that reference.

I stand by everything I've said, though.

Disability pension, yo

Being disabled without a label ain't worth nothing

Well, I'm at peace with who I am with my diagnosis now......... it's been a long process, though.

i wish i'd got diagnosed sooner, I'd be £3000 in welfare payments richer for every year since.