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qawer
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27 Nov 2013, 3:37 pm

Moondust wrote:
Achievements include who they see you hang with, who you form alliances with, which bosses listen to you, etc. All that empowers NTs. We're hardly able in those areas, so we have to find other ways to empower ourselves. In the meantime, we have to be nice and just dissociate from their treatment or we go crazy.


I see. I'm the kind of person who treats those well, who treats me well. I'm not making alliances naturally. I'm not a people-pleaser, even when I'm facing bosses, and that has already given me substantial trouble. I don't respect the social hierarchy enough according to them, I think.

The result is, I've talked mostly with those lowest in the social hierarchy (because they are the one's forced to be most submissive), and that makes everyone think that's where I belong. But that's not how I see it myself. My worth is not dictated by NTs. I'm at least worth the same as all bosses at work! Everyone else surely don't agree on that, so I have to hide my true attitude and put up with their sh*t.

About dissociating from their treatment, what do you refer to here? I think I do that (i.e. for instance say, it's not the "real me" at work, I'm only there because I have to). Have you dissociated yourself from bad NT-treatment, and how so?



CockneyRebel
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28 Nov 2013, 12:31 am

I make an effort not to say things that would hurt people, because I wish to be a gentle soul like someone that I look up to.


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Moondust
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28 Nov 2013, 1:22 am

Dissociate = the workplace is like a role play convention. Everyone adopts a persona that they portray, whatever is done to that persona is not done to you. Would you take it personal if you dressed up as Jerry and someone in a Tom costume chased you all over the place?


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JSBACHlover
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28 Nov 2013, 10:06 am

Too nice = codependence = not taking responsibility for your own life. When you're too nice, people don't respect you. You need to show firmness in some areas. Otherwise people will walk all over you.



DefKoN
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28 Nov 2013, 10:30 am

I see what moondust is saying, Being nice does seem to have some survival aspects to it. I always see NT as irrational actors in life. They get upset emotional whatever, then they stop talking to you or whatever it seems way easier to just let the BS slide. definitely dangerous though.

Its hard to be bad also. I dont know it just feels totally unnatural being bad or taking advantage of people. ugh