Dealing with other Aspies, need an answer before friday.

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I might be slowly accepting the fact I am an extremely high functioning aspie guy. Now there's an issue with someone who is either equally high functioning or a tad bit lower functioning aspie girl. We had a class together. I was attracted to her, confessed to her, rejected by her, tried to become her friend. But it really seems like she doesn't care about my friendship. Though I do understand the fact of mindblindness and difficulty in keeping and obtaining friends with this condition. There are other people in her life she cares for though, and I'm not one of them. She has a best guy friend, and a best female friend, and a few other friends she keeps in contact with easily. But I'm not one of them. So it makes me feel like I am really unwanted and uncared for. Though we met each other somewhat recently and haven't really interacted much, more her lack of interest than mine.


Now I invited her to a job/social gathering about 2 months ago. She came along, and did well among the people. We had a very stupid argument over stupid stuff, and she ignored me for 2 months. I wrote an apology note and apparently she wrote one back and wanted to give it to me before the end of class, but I avoided her so she didn't have a chance. On December 27th, she called me telling me she had this apology christmas card she wanted to give me. I was out, and she said she'll call back? But never did, so I called her back on Decemeber 30th, and we chatted for a short while and again she said she'll call back and never did. I decided to drop it, and decided because of that to just not want to deal with her anymore.

Now we have another job/social gathering thing this weekend.They invited her and apparently she accepted.(was told this 4 hours ago). Knowing aspies they will go out of there way to do interesting/fun things with people because they want to change and be social really badly. She might even take this opportunity to give that apology christmas card to me, and also reconnect with the cool people she met the first time around.

As I said I don't really want to deal with her anymore, but if it's her disorder's fault and not what she really "wants" to do in a sense. Then I wonder if I should forgive her and try to be one of those good friends aspie's want to have so badly.

My future career kinda banks on this so I can't really ditch it..I was thinking of calling her and trying to talk it out or at least finding out if she is actually going this weekend. If so maybe we can solve any issue before hand, though it seems doubtful we fight more often than not fight when we're together. Also, if past speaks for anything she will probably just end up ignoring my call/making excuses as to why she can't meet before Saturday etc. Even if they are mistaken or she will flake on it, should I actually find out if she really will go or not? or just leave it alone and wish/hope that she wont come?

Also I'm not mature enough yet to have her being there not affect how well I do my job, and it's a small area with around 10 people in a group project type of thing, so I will certainly have to deal with her.

Rambled a bit but I hope what I said made sense.

I may be missing something, but it seems like you have to deal with her. So, that means you have to deal with her in a pleasant, professional way. So try to keep it there, if she brings up other things, respond pleasantly, calmly. Show her and everyone else you can keep working effectively.

ignorance is bliss, and surley will not win the heart of a women. also, you need to stop mocking up things in your head that is not true. nobody can predict the future. however, you can prepare yourself for it. be cool. if she wants to give you a card out of kindness, take it, and thank her. having her try to give you a card, and you ignoring her, pritty much demands an apology. all you can do at this point, is think positive, and be polite. good luck on your social blunders.

From your post, I would guess that she doesn't desperately want you as a best friend, but like most people, does care about your feelings and wouldn't mind having you as a casual friend.

Just be cool! By which I mean, relax, and be pleasant.

Hopefully I can distill this down without making typical Aspie mistakes of leaving out key info.

You went out together before for a job related event, had a disagreement. Now you have another job related event, and want her to come with.

In my opinion, I would not take her to the job-related event, I would ask her out for something else on another night, something that is just the two of you (what better for Aspies?), that tells her you think she is special to you, and not just something to bring along.

And then just deal with the going solo to a work event. Many married people at work go to the company Christmas dinner here at my place of employment. I used to, but not any more.

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I could tell stories and bore you to death, in typical Aspie fashion, but the up shot is, I always considered dating to be a way to determine if this is the person I want to get married to, and not a way to drain my scrotum. Don't know if that is the Aspie in me, and no, I'm not gay. It certainly seems different from most other guys say. Mind you, I see beautiful women and I talk how I would like to do such and such, but that is as far as it goes, talk. That is to say, I'm monogamous, at least so far.