silently suffering

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Anyone else feel like they dont fit in with aspie or NT people? Being undiagnosed I can't say that I definitely have aspergers although I have obsessively read books and reasearched online and I am sure it fits who I am, its hard to be between two worlds so to speak. Only my partner knows I could have aspergers and even they said it must only be very mild. I haven't told any of my family for I doubt they will believe me. I dont fit in with NT people because they insist on chit chat and little jokes I just dont get, at work why must they all say good morning every single day its just pointless. I hardly ever speak unless I have to so why after telling me the something they need do they continue on with a whole story about how they came the need to tell me information, then we need to do the whole awkward thing where I need to talk back so im not bring rude then trying to think of what to say or even just smiling if im completely confused wh can't they leave me alone and let me work, interuptions never help.
I just feel like I dont fit and im frustrated that I can't tell anyone I think I have aspergers when it seems clear I do, doesn't anyone else see the struggle it is to go though all that everyday?

To a degree that's how I feel; my story is slightly different obviously, but the majority of what you said is true for me.

If you are comfortable/wanting to share these experiences with someone I would more than gladly read through it all and discuss with you in a PM, or something like that!

I don't fit in with either. You're not alone . The NTs' need for social interaction is stressful. Also, I don't understand how some aspies just "click" with each other because of the shared disorder. I still can't connect with someone even if we are both autistic. Putting 2 socially awkward people together doesn't make the awkwardness go away for me. So I can't make friends with either side.

This is how I felt quite a lot when I was newer to the idea of having AS and still uncertain of my diagnosis (I'm still self-diagnosed but in the process of making it official, and I'm now completely certain I have it). I hated feeling stuck in "limbo" as I called it, and made a post very similar to this one a year or two ago because I was tired of feeling lonely, like I didn't fit in with the NTs or the aspies, and was trapped in my own little world where I didn't know with any certainty who I really was, and who I wasn't. The only thing that worked for me was time; just give yourself more time to get used to the idea of a diagnosis, or, if you're already comfortable with the idea of being an aspie and just aren't sure whether you are one, the only real solution is a proper diagnosis. I know first hand that that isn't easy, especially in places like the US where we have to pay for everything ourselves, but if you can find a way to do it, it'll make things a lot clearer for you. Good luck!

Thanks for your replies it helps to just get it out you know?
I am comfortable with being and aspie it nice to know after all this time that there is a reason for how I am. I would like to get a diagnosis but I have no idea where to start and it really wouldn't benefit me in any other way other than knowing for sure I have it.

I haven't got a diagnosis yet either but what everyone here says is to not see general specialists (psychiatrists/psychologists etc), but to see specialists that have an expertise on ASDs. The difference between the two will determine whether or not you are accurately assessed.

Depending on where you live, there are services that will be able to help you. I live in Australia/Victoria and 'Amaze' is the service I rely on. Give your local service a ring and they will help (you can mention money issues etc).

I'm another one who don't fit into either group.