NT things/Social rules you find stupid or rude?

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I don't even think it's a social rule they are doing, it's a poor social skill. Nope, you don't need to be an aspie to have poor social skills.

Truth in a dispute between two individuals being decided by hierarchy rating.

I would say that would depend on the nature of the hierarchy. If I were to have a debate on climate change with Michael Mann, he is very much higher in the hierarchy of knowing about climate change than I am, however much I think I know about it, and is much more likely to be right about climate change than I am.

On the other hand, "I am male, you are female, therefore I am right and you are wrong" is clearly an unreasonable way to settle a dispute.

I've been giving a lot of thought to kyriarchy lately. Hierarchies and the kyriarchy in general definitely act against Aspies. I suspect they act more against female Aspies than they do against male Aspies. The existence of abusive allistic males who can read body language and ignore it does act against Aspie males (probably more than Aspie females), because it's assumed we are socially malicious, not socially inept.

The kyriarchy has to go, but it's built in to allistic society. It really pisses me off.

I'm not sure if things would be much better in a world designed by autistics, however. I see kyriarchy in action around here.

Not necessarily. You see, in the NT world, certain topics are off limits for discussion, and if brought up, the person being addressed will immediately take offense (after all, the NT knows that it's a social no-no to talk about X, so "obviously" it must be an attack.)

"No offense," "With all due respect," etc. are ways of prefacing something that needs to be said without flat-out saying it. Flat-out saying it would undoubtedly be seen as offensive between NTs.

To an aspiring NT artist for example:

"I don't like your drawing, so it's not going into our magazine" = Your drawing sucks.

"No offense, but I don't think your artwork is what were looking for" = I'm not attacking you, I'm gently telling you it's no good.

While those sentences may seem the same to you, remember, you're not NT. Your directness, bluntness, and unapologetic honesty have probably gotten you in trouble with NTs before. NTs don't think and comprehend the world the same way we do, so it's good to at least observe the nature of how they operate (as nutty as their behavior may seem).

"No offense but are you a little old to be afraid of the dark?" Kevin McCallister.

There has been some drama going on around me lately, people very excited talking a lot and LOUDLY so that I can't but help overhear part of what is going on. But I'm not allowed to ask any questions at all because that would be rude. This is really stupid - if you are going to be public about it, be public about all of it. If you want it private, then keep it private. It's just natural for me to be curious when I hear all this commotion, but I know the rule about asking. And everyone would get that stone face and act like I killed a baby or something.

The expectation that you will always acknowledge them, make small talk with them, reassure them with meaningless compliments, etc., no matter how busy, overstimulated, exhausted or whatever else you may be. The assumption that if you aren't socializing constantly you are unhappy, unhealthy, and require intervention. God forbid they take you at your word when you say you're fine.

I don't want to keep being the turd in the AS vs NT (NT's suck) punchbowl, but a great deal of what has been brought up here also applies to the the many ASD people I have been surrounded by most of my life. And there is stuff mentioned that is just as annoying to NT people as it is to AS people.
I think the thing with a lot of you is that since you have mainly been around NT people,
you conclude that most behavior that bothers you is exclusively NT.
But I have a reverse life history (short as it may be) in that I have mainly been around ASD people ages 6 to 18 most of my life and have had far less interaction with NT people.
And like I said, lots of supposedly exclusively NT offenses I see listed, I have seen committed by plenty of ASD people in one way or another.

I totally agree with you! I don't even agree that there is such a thing as an NT. But there are some very set societal rules, whether they be "NT" or not, they they are there and hell will be paid if you break them. I think as Aspies we have a harder time not breaking some of them then non-Aspies do. (Although, anybody would be curious if they heard the stuff going on that I have heard this week! - but I digress!)

You are right, people are people though.

flirting, I strongly dislike playful flirting between guys and girls, and doing any playful flirting myself. So much so I avoid doing it at all costs. But it seems it's something I need to do if I want to have any friendships with girls, or get into a relationship with a girl..

Am I the only person who dislikes playful flirting?

1. The insistance on eye contact.
2. Using the phrase "just saying".
3. Always assigning ulterior motives to what I say or ask. When I make a statement or ask a question, it's devoid of any motives.
4. The constant use of sarcasm. This is very frustrating.
5. Always touching. I only allow family to touch me. Anyone else touching me I find rude and painful.
6. The constant use of abstractions. This is so difficult for the very literal person.
7. Always asking "how are you?" I don't regard this as a greeting but an intrusive question. I never respond to it.
8. Disrespect. My thinking processes are rarely respected.
I could think of more.

Yeah, people are people that's for sure.
And of course not really having been in the real world yet, there is a lot of rules or whatever
I have to had to deal with much. And also because my autism is more pronounced I probably
get more of a pity pass on things. But as of now I do not see things as:
AS = Good
NT = Bad

Yeah, if that was true, life would be so much easier for us! We could just make them all our zombie slaves and create a world of love and peace. I think you are very wise for a 13 year old! I haven't given you any pity passes yet!

The phrase "that's so random" annoys me not only because I find it rude but because it encourages low self esteem and single mindedness, stifling creativity. Wonderful conversations start off with random observations/statements many of times. Why discourage people?

When you arrive at a function or gathering and you are new and someone just stares into you, looks you up and down, examining! you but wont even say "hi." And them you say hi and they "hi" back with a grimace and shoot "Howareyou??" like it's a challenge.

When someone says"Can I ask you something?," because its a waste of energy to decide to accept or decline their question when they dont need your approval anyway: freedom of speech. And this phrase is almost. always followed by something extremely rude.

When ppl. make comments that they know are rude and then hide behind political correctness: like two overweight ppl telling someone "omg you're so skinny!" or "woaah, you're tall" like you're unusual yet its rude to retort that theyre short. Or "wow, your so white" but you cant say wow you're dark... but WHY would anyone want to say any of these things in the first place?? What is the pleasure in being rude?

I know most NTs prob. hate these things too, but other aspies never do them in the first place. NTs tend to do things even they hate. I dont get it.

On a lighter note, typical NT / aspie clash: I point out something that i would want a friend to point out to me but they have to take it personally and attach emotions to something business related. Or I ask an NT a question, half the time I get an answer that does not answer the question. Ive gotten to the point where i just restate the question til they realize they havent actually answered it at all. They be annoying, I'll be annoying back. lol. Seriously, through neuroplasticity, Ivegotten to where i understant NTs most of the time now and i like them just as i like everyone unless ya get on my bad side.

i find this thread confusing, i dont have a separate set of social skills from NTs, i have a complete lack of social skills. There are some that at strange to me, like eye contact and certain body language gestures but other than that i really cant say anything is rude or stupid to me, its all means nothing to me at all.

I hate being expected to do things asked of me by complete strangers. Sorry, I don't know you, so why should I do you a favour? Unless someone's hurt or their life's in danger, I don't see the point, so don't ask me to take your picture or hold your things.