My diagnosis has ruined my life

Post Reply New Topic

If you feel like a gifted kid, then act like it. Take control of your life and be the gifted person you see yourself to be. If you truly belive it, it will be real.
But I get the impression you're dwelling on the diagnosis. You're letting it "be" your personality.


I wasn't talking about seeing yourself as inferior. I was meaning how you will be treated.
To take control of your life takes a strength of will. The OP is dwelling on a negitive and not moving forward.


No I wasn't meaning "lacking" emotions.

1/ I lack a level of emotional control. Love and Loss causes me much distress, any strong emotion does.
2/ And I lack the ability to transfer my emotions to other people that I love. They don't get, how I feel about them. And I can't read them at all. I have no idea how they feel.

Last edited by GregCav on 20 Jan 2014, 12:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Trust your instincts, DevilKisses. It sounds like you have some very good reasons to question your diagnosis.

No I wasn't meaning "lacking" emotions.

1/ I lack a level of emotional control. Love and Loss causes me much distress, any strong emotion does.
2/ And I lack the ability to transfer my emotions to other people that I love. They don't get, how I feel about them. And I can't read them at all. I have no idea how they feel.[/quote]

Hi Greg, I think this was just a misattribution, but it looks humorously like you disagree with yourself!

No wozeree, I messed up the quote. I'll go and fix it.

I admit that I have been dwelling on the diagnosis. I'm just trying to discover who I truly am, since the diagnosis used to a huge part of my identity. I still don't know what my limitations are, but I am discovering that I have less than I thought I did.

I am 39 and I only got diagnosed back in March I was dwelling on if too.
A kind word is not always what we need sometimes a kick up the behind does the trick.

Live your life there are plenty of people on the spectrum who embrace life and there are plenty of NTs who go to the wall.

Having ASD school is always going to be hard being an adult we have more control over our day to day lives.

I have to go now off to work a job this board has helped me with immensely.

I cannot live my life believing I'm autistic! I've been doing that for nine years and it hasn't worked out. I used to even be somewhat proud of my diagnosis. I do have reasons to believe that my diagnosis is incorrect. Everyone makes mistakes including the specialists.

You could be right either way it's only a bit of paper.

Maybe you are autistic, maybe you are neurotypical. Will you ever know for sure? Maybe, maybe not. In the meantime, it's best not to let the autistic vs. neurotypical thing hold you back from living your life. If you let that kind of thinking hold you back, and you don't work on adjusting it, then that is your own fault if you find that you are unhappy in life. It's good that you are finding that you have fewer limitations than you thought. That means that you can go for what you want.

Hey, I was treated like I was "speshul" and also in full seclusion special ed, which was really... not pleasant. I later found out that I had not received the same education or opportunities for advancement as everyone else - AP courses and such. It was really problematic when discussing stuff with friends, because they would talk about taking AP, taking standardized exams, and I couldn't talk about why I couldn't take AP or whatever. But since I didn't talk about it at work, it became a non-issue there.

The label is not a problem. The discrimination that the label leads to is a problem. Stuff like being denied access to certain types of education or diplomas.

I'm an adult in my 20s working in corporate America, living on my own like everyone else, in a relationship. I make a normal salary and have hobbies, my partner isn't autistic. At university I realized that I hadn't gotten the same education as everyone else because I was "speshul". I recognized this as discrimination and fight for the treatment of "disabled" people the same as everyone else, every way I can. So I worked twice as hard at college and graduated with honors. BTW - I don't have aspergers, but autistic disorder.

My diagnosis was f*cked up in terms of how the education system treated me. But then I worked hard for every bit of knowledge, every bit of skill that I could get. Sure, having a degree, a home and a career doesn't mean I'm not autistic, I have good days and bad days. What it does is prove that people with autism can succeed and thrive in the same environments as everyone else, and that the education system is messed up.

People see me. Dressed like everyone else, with a career like everyone else. Hobbies like everyone else, involved in my community. Then they say some sh*t about how autistic people can't do something - so I come out and be like yo, I'm autistic, what's your problem?

If you're worried that you're "immature". Read as many social skills books as you can. Even that NLP stuff. Work on it. Do mirror talk. Don't be afraid to date NT people. And you know what, you can prove yourself to your friends. When I was 17 I pushed down sped shame and pushed myself into work, saving money, building my net worth and trying to get into college despite my label. Pushed myself into learning skills and gaining work experience, ignoring the a$$holes around me.

When they set up a barrier we knock it down and make things better for the next generation. Best of luck. 17 is a great time to focus on planning your escape through college and career.

Well first Devilkisses I believe this is the wrong place for you to be. I've lurked around on these forums enough to figure out that the majority of the posters here are people who are, what I will call, accepting of their aspieness. They also are the type of people who think "well this person has this problem so they must be an aspie too!" They like to use their aspieness as a crutch.

Also remember this forum is a forum full of aspies, or people who believe they are aspies. They can only help with advice on how they dealt with life as a person with aspergers. Since there are many degrees for that illness, it's impossible for any one person to give advice on how to help any other person on this forum.

I was forced to see many child psychologists as a kid and forced to take many long annoying tests. Not for being accused of having any illness. But because I had to grow up with a mother with skitzophrenia, and it was a requirement for me to see child psychologists to make sure I was being treated well in my household. They all saw me as a normal kid.

The people who accuse me of being an aspie are the online trolls who use aspie as a way to name call anyone who asks any question relating to socializing. Also a few older people who have no degree in the field but deal with people with certain conditions. So they throw around diagnosis, as if it's the gospel, thinking they are some authority on the matter.

Now for some actual advice: First I believe you have a right to any type of education you desire. So if people are treating you differently get out of there, start somewhere new. Somewhere people don't know you.

Also here's a well guarded secret no one on this forum realizes: Everyone worries about life, socializing etc, they just don't show it. They don't let it get to them. Every single person is a little bit weird. Some less weird than others, some more weird. Concentrate on your life, do things you find fun, then talk about these things to people around you. Live the NT life, it's not as difficult as the people on this forum believe. They're all chasing the end of the rainbow, looking for that pot of gold. When everyone is already on that same rainbow.

I just feel like my diagnosis has killed my identity. It's like a parasite that eats up all my personhood. I've already tried accepting my diagnosis, but that just killed my identity. Before I knew about my diagnosis I had an identity. I just want to feel whole again. It seems like people who don't know about my diagnosis understand me better than people who do know about it.

I agree. I know that this forum is not helping me, is there any forum you recommend?

What are you looking for? If you just want a place to chat find something that interests you. Don't have to mention you're an aspie or anything just become a regular contributing member of that forum gaming or a random chatroom etc,. There are tons of forums on the internet. The only other forum type place I personally find addicting is 4chan's advice section. That section is safe for those under 18. But the rest of their boards aren't..

But I understand the difficulty to change forums so easily. So I suggest to use this forum for what you can use it for. Which I'm not sure yet..

I use this forum when I'm wondering if I'm aspie or not, or when I think some of my actions might be aspie. I dunno. I tried using it for help with dealing with a girl I suspected was an aspie. That didn't go too well.

But instead of online, what I strongly suggest is going outside and experiencing real life. Online on propagates suspected aspienesss. Wanna hear something cool that no aspie can imagine they could ever do?:

I'm a college student. First day of class, a few days ago, I sat down in the front row a bit earlier than others. As students were coming into the class, I looked one girl in the eye, she looked back at me in the eye, I looked down to to the empty desk next to me, she came over and sat in that empty desk. Later me and her exchanged numbers.

Now I don't understand exactly what happened or how I did what I did, or something but there was like a ton of non verbal communication there. I learned some sort of valuable skill there. I can now use it again and again.

The internet is ruining socialization, everyone goes through this growing up, everyone isn't born with perfect socialization skills. Some may be slower to learn than others, but you'll never learn if you don't go out and experience it for yourself.

So go out and put yourself into different situations.

We're going through kind of the same situation, so maybe we could help each other.
One day I was at school and thought: there's no way I'm an aspie! I can read social clues. See? This guy is happy. That other girl is the leader. That other is worried about the exam. I'm good at it
Then later I went to talk to my three girlfriends and we started to talk about other people in our class (which is an unusual topic for us) based on the same situation I saw they were talking about how one of them broke with another, about a girl that was envy, about who felt superor to whom, and I was just like: what?? I definitely don't have the same skill as average girls my age.
You could try this test. Compare your ability to read social clues with a friend.
Also you could try talking to someone looking straight in the eye. Can you talking and look in the eye at the same time?

You seem to doubt your diagnosis and think you might have something else like ADHD, so go for a second opinion.

I'm sorry that people treated you like you were younger or stranger because of your dx. A lot of us that weren't diagnosed until later in our adult life were treated a similar way. I'm always treated like I'm in special Ed. It's hard to just forget about that stuff or not dwell on it as much but when you do you feel better.

Do what makes you feel better. If that is forgetting about being on the autism spectrum, then do it. If I was mild I would forget about my diagnosis too but I'm kind of a stereotype. I have very obvious symptoms while appearing to not have it to people that don't know much about autism.