questioning my gender: not sure what gender i want to be

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I feel agender. I don't identify with either gender.
Counselors have made me do examinations in the past and they found out I have the "extreme-male brain".
I am often told I have behaviours that are "guy-like" and that I am not "feminine".
I remember that when I was 8-9 I identified as a boy but it passed.
I remember that before that age and after that, I mean from 3 to 7 yo and then from 10 to 11 yo I identified as a female but then I was bullied a lot for not being feminine by my female classmates so after some around the age of 12 I started to feel like if I didn't belong to either gender.
I still feel that way.
About sexuality, I am pretty unsure as well. My sexuality has had swings. There was a time during which I felt attracted by females, then by boys, then by both, then by neither. I guess that's because of adolescence.
Now I am 16 and am almost completely attracted by guys. I think thid is because of all the female bullies who harassed me. I think I could never be in a sexual relationship with a girl because of that because I'd feel that my breasts are too small, that I am too little feminine, and other stuff like that that would make me feel uncomfortable. But maybe a romantic relationship would be ok even if with a person of the same gender.
I don't know how I feel about my body. I don't even care anymore. I wear baggy clothes and my boobs are too small to be noticed so even if I wore skimpy clothes nothing would be shown. So there's no real difference, skimpy clothes are only good for a sensory overload and meltdown for me. And to attract people's attention, that I do not want.

Why do things or activities or ways of thinking etc have to be male or female? Can they not just be things that people do, think, enjoy regardless of what their physical sex is?

I dislike the use of gender roles.

I've always felt like a male trapped in a female body. I've always wished to be a man. I know that I'm a man on the inside. I don't know what's confusing about that. I'm not confused about myself, nor am I gender confused. If I was gender confused, I wouldn't be concrete about it. If people are confused about me, all the more power to me I guess. If I had the money and I didn't look like a slightly scaled down version of big, strong, healthy Mick Avory of The Kinks, I would have gotten the operation a long time ago when I was working full time in a factory in the Mid-Late 90s. People who aren't mainstream end up calling themselves what they end up looking like, and I'm no exception. I'm not a feminist, I have real gender issues.

Better for men, statistically, but that doesn't mean that being male has no drawbacks! Just kick a suitably deserving man in the junk and see one of them for yourself. Socially, compare the ease with which a woman can "get away with" wearing a suit, to the ease with which a man can "get away with" wearing a dress.

Gender can get confusing to talk about. I think we need to agree on some vocab...

Physical sex: What you look like.
Genetic sex: What your chromosomes are.
Gender identity: What your brain and personality are--i.e., your true gender.
Gender presentation: What gender you're displaying socially.
Sexual orientation: Whether you're attracted to girls, guys, both, anybody, or nobody.

So, if you're trans, your physical and genetic sex (probably) don't match your gender, and it sucks because you're being forced into a gender presentation that doesn't match your identity. You can change your physical sex with hormones or surgery or make-up; you can change your gender presentation by changing your clothes and your name. But you can't change your gender identity, because it's been fixed and unchangeable for a very long time--probably since before you were born.

I don't think surgeries are choosing their presentation. Most trans people choose their presentation well before they get surgery (if they ever do).

Technically speaking anyone can choose any gender presentation they like, it's just that people are often not likely to be happy with gender presentation that clashes with their sense of self.

The thing about Fnord's post is, though, that I've seen him make microaggressive and negative comments about trans people in other threads, so I suspect the possibility that he might be questioning the validity of being trans and/or possibly having a nonbinary gender than strictly questioning whether anyone can choose their gender. I could be wrong of course.

I'm not marking Fnord out as a singular case. A lot of people on this forum say negative, prejudiced, microaggressive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and downright wrong things about trans people. Comparatively, Fnord's comments are pretty mild and I've never seen him misgender - use the wrong pronouns) for anyone.

If you're not sure about which pronouns somebody wants, just ask them. On WP you can check gender in their profile. Or use "they" as a neutral pronoun.

Using the wrong pronoun is only offensive if you know what pronoun they want you to use, and you deliberately use the other one as a way of telling them, "You're wrong about yourself. You are who I see you as, not who you see yourself to be." It's like trying to overwrite their identity with your idea of what you think their identity is. Needless to say, if someone thinks you are deliberately doing this, they will be pretty pissed off.

But just messing up pronouns by mistake is--well, a mistake. Something you fix with, "oops, sorry, I messed up," and make a mental note of the right one to use for next time.