Never being told you seem AS

Post Reply New Topic

Hi all,

I have a question for some higher-functioning people with AS - how often do people come out and ask or mention the possibility of you having AS or some kind of definable condition?

Because I've really been trying to get a picture of myself in relation to my AS traits, not for better or worse, and I just can't tell how much of my AS shows or how different people think I am. I was diagnosed with it when I was about 12 and had a little bit of special help in high school for it, so I imagine most people back then knew, but that was 2 years ago...since then I've become way more outgoing and had 3 part-time jobs, started college and doing very well so far. So thus far, I'd say the whole "taking care of yourself" part of life isn't very difficult for me, in fact maybe I'm better than most NT's at it...

So what I mean is more in social situations with friends your age and co-workers. Nobody has ever said to me "you seem Asperger's" or anything like that. It's indeed something I keep on the down low, but I feel like someone would've asked by now, no? One of my bosses (the coolest woman I've ever known) did get a kick out of my "Rain Man" number skills, and then one of my friends (psychology major) told me she "would have a field day with me" but we didn't get into specific names. People have talked about autism when I'm right there, with no nod towards me. People do know and tell me that I'm eccentric/quirky/something else/so on, almost always as a compliment, and I get called "buddy" and "sweetie" by people in stores and stuff quite often so I know I'm not just a regular NT (not that I'd want to be) but what my question is...different in what way? I'm not ashamed of AS nor myself, I'm just being really introspective lately.

Something you might want to look into is getting a copy of your school records.
especially if they contain observations from your teachers about your behavior.
I know of an adult who did this, and what they wrote about him was amazing.
It was basically a chronicle of autistic behavior.

Telling people that they seem to have a mental disorder is considered insulting, so most people are not going to tell you that you seem to have AS even if they think in their minds that you seem have AS.

yeah, i can not imagine anyone telling me i seem autistic or had something wrong with me to my face.
Behind my back it is, "what the #@& is wrong with him?"

I have never gotten the, "Are you autistic/Aspergers?" question. Mostly I am told that I am eccentric, an odd duck (nice way of saying strange), overly logical, cold, uncaring, to smart for my own good, weird, etc. Most times I think they are nuts so I guess it's fair.

No one's ever said that to me. If people were able to diagnose us as autistic just by looking at us why would there be a need for especially qualified professionals to diagnose autism in adults. Fact is as we grow older the less obvious our autism often becomes because we learn how to cope with it and mask it. People will just think we're "strange" or "odd" or "arrogant" or "aloof", but unless they're autistic themselves or have a family member or friend on the spectrum they're very unlikely to even suspect ASD.

I have had people describe me as Dr Spock to my face or in my presence.

I thought that was the extent of it, but have recently been told by several people there was a lot of chatter behind my back about my bizarre behavior. No one used the word autistic, but robot and serial killer and many others were used.

I wasn't passing anywhere as well as I thought I was.

My mum still don't believe I've got Aspergers, she just describes me as "Extremely introverted and very sensitive to sensory input", but then she is the closest person in my life so I feel completely safe with her and she'd also describe herself in the same way only a bit less extreme.

Mostly there've been teachers and other authority-people who have made notice of my "oddness". One english-teacher I had asked me really early on if I had some diagnosis, -not in a mean way but I simply got the impression she was curious and so I replied that I had AS and she responded she "Thought so" because one of her sons had it and apparently she recognized his behaviour in me.

When I started working for awhile I told my boss straight away I had aspergers (after an advice from my shrink to do so) and she said "I knew straight away there was something a bit...strange with you. I can't believe it took people so long to give you a diagnosis!"
Again I wasn't offended by the remark though and she really appreciates my ability to sit for hours just doing the same monotonous work over and over.

I agree. I've never had anyone come out and ask if something is wrong with me. Many people don't even know what aspergers is. I called the special ed services supervisor at my high school a month ago to tell her about my diagnosis of Aspergers, and she told me "wow, you don't seem like someone that would have it" and "you're way different from the other people with aspergers at our school" which shows they don't know that it presents itself differently in different people, especially being a female and being diagnosed as an adult. She admitted that she just heard what aspergers was 2 years ago (way after I graduated) and they set up a program to help people with aspergers. So it shows how aspergers is SLOWLY getting around to the "professionals", and the fact that she tried to convince me I didn't have aspergers when she's probably only met a handful of individuals on the spectrum in the 2 years she's known about aspergers, is ridiculous. If it was released in the DSM in 1994 and she just heard about it in 2012, that means it took 18 years to reach my high schools special ed supervisor. That's way too long for someone that's in the field of helping people in special ed.

While people never say such things directly, some people will occasionally comment on my weirdness. Thankfully, it's almost universally comments about it being an positive, endearing sort of weirdness. I would not be shocked if some people were put off by my quirkiness, but so far, they haven't mentioned those thoughts to me personally.

People may not say that but they may say other things instead like "you always do as I exactly say" "where is your common sense?" "use your common sense" "You're not listening" "Why are you always quiet?" "you never talk to us" "be more courteous to your guests" "You say things lot of people wouldn't say" "I notice things are black and white for you." Even though they may not know why are are these things, they may still be commenting on your characteristics even if they don't know.

It's not childhood where anyone will flat out ask "What is wrong with you?" "Have you ever been diagnosed with anything?" "Why are you so different?" "Are you ret*d or what?" or ask you what any condition you have. I am sure there will still be someone out there who will ask but it's not very common in adulthood. Some stranger once commented at the stop I don't seem to be very competent while we were talking. if she noticed, I am sure others notice too but never say anything. She was just a teen, over age of course. But no young adult has ever made such comment nor any underage people except for when I was a kid.

No one has ever told me outright, "You seem like you have Asperger's" except my mother, who said it more as, "I'm fairly sure you have Asperger's," when I was seventeen and demanding to know why I was so weird. On that note, I've been called weird plenty of times to my face before, even by my own family, both in nice and not so nice ways. I don't think many people outside the autism community really know what AS is, only that you behave a bit strangely.

Always gotten "weird", "funny" (as in strange), "oddball", but nobody has ever suggested I have Aspergers. I mentioned my Aspergers to a few friends/family members recently and they were like "C'mon... you don't have Aspergers. You're smart." Makes me wanna punch them for their ignorance.

Surprisingly a lot of people straight up asked me "do you have aspergers?" At the time, I use to be extremely ashamed of it and would argue with them that I didn't. Their response? "I think you should get diagnosed".

Last month, I traveled to Chicago with my boyfriend to visit his parents. His mother asked him privately whether I had aspergers or not.
I honestly didn't think it was obvious but apparently it is to some.

No, but strangers often ask me if I'm okay. Most people that find out about my diagnosis say that I don't seem autistic. I've always felt very happy whenever people said that. Even a psychiatrist said that I don't look autistic.