"I don't think you have Asperger's" -unintelligent

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I don't understand people's motives for shooting you down, or doubting your suspicions. What's in it for them? How does it affect them in any way? Are they threatened by the possibility that you might have autism?

I just don't get it... But then again I don't understand people's motives to begin with.

I completely understand this idea. But my thought has always been, what in the hell would motivate someone to desire a socially crippled existence? Trust me, I'm certainly not sitting around wishing I were utterly incompetent in regard to/incapable of having relationships with other people because it's "quirky". I've spent years confused over why I didn't fit and why I had this endless list of "problems" and weird uncontrollable things I did that seemed utterly unrelated, and upon learning about ASD they all make sense.




I don't, but I'm certainly more familiar with the features of ASD than she is. From the way she was talking, she actually just thinks people with Asperger's are simply rude beyond their control. That is literally the only ASD "quality" she seemed familiar with. Also, I chose the word ignorant not solely because of this experience (but largely so, because her condescension based on a clear lack of education on the subject pissed me the heck off). Take my word, girl talks about so much stuff that she has utterly no understanding of.

You've just said plainly something we all would assume...

She's ignorant and has no idea what she's talking about.

Is this person an expert on what shows someone's on the spectrum or not? No?

THEN IGNORE HER.

She can't TOUCH you. She can NOT shoot you down, because she isn't inside your skin, doesn't know how you feel, and I'm very certain isn't qualified to diagnose autism.

This means her opinion is WORTHLESS.

Again, IGNORE her.

If you feel the need to have a QUALIFIED person evaluate you, and there's a way for you to do this at your age, go ahead. If you have to wait until you're of age, again, do it.

This person's words MEAN NOTHING. She CAN'T shoot you down, because she's firing blanks from an empty head.

Don't let her get to you. She's not worth it.

I absolutely HATE it when people go "you are not autistic/have Aspergers" when I tell them. I even hate it more when they shoot down the fact I was diagnosed by school psychologist and yet they don't have a degree in any field of psychology. Yeah I get that a diagnosis by a school psychologist isn't always the most accurate, but considering my school district's psychology department closely monitored my behavior since preschool all the way to the time they diagnosed me in fifth grade. Back in elementary school my symptoms where very obvious: I was very clumsy and my school put me in physical therapy for majority of my elementary school years, I had some problems with speech and I was put into speech therapy (the difference between "f" and "ph" was a struggle for me as I recall), I had obsessions and in elementary school I had an obsession on human physiology which grossed or made other kids bored, I could NEVER FIT IN despite how HARD I tried, I also was very numb to emotions when I was younger for some reason, and I used to have a fair bit of meltdowns too. Also the school psychologist actually tested me for it, after five years of observation on my behaviors and symptoms. I hate how now some won't believe me because I act so "normal" and look at me as if I am trying to seek attention. They have no idea what I've been through, yet they disregard my diagnosis and say I am full of it, and I get it that I am older and my symptoms have improved a lot to the point they are not obvious or just seem like little quirks rather than a symptom of a condition. It makes me doubt myself when I shouldn't when my diagnosis actually fits me even if some people can't see it.

Uhhh...off topic, but...

Just what IS the difference between "f" and "ph"? I've always thought they were different ways of spelling the same sound, and English was just being a stupid language as usual.

So I guess we should all go back into the closet from whence we came tail behind our back. We made it all up, we are all socially ret*d excuse makers. My specialist of 30 years probably diagnosed me because she is to invested in Aspergers. Well it was fun while it lasted but I went through life thinking it was all my fault for 5 decades so I guess I should be able to return to that way of thinking for the rest of my life. (sarcasm)

I know that is not what you meant but how many times can even the strongest willed of us keep hearing it without beginning to believe it? Especially when it comes from authoritative sources like the American Psychiatric Association, New York Times, New Yorker etc. We getting to a point now where somebody claiming Autism and especially Aspergers is automatically under suspicion, guilty until proven innocent. It is beginning to happen here also. I understand it why his is happening. If someone believes their suffering has been invalidated by fakers and excuse makers some newbie makes an easy target to lash out at.

My own conjectural theory is beside awareness people who would have been functional a few decades ago are not now. The reasons the economy, multitasking, being on call 24 hours 7 days a week. And as you mentioned in the post Columbine, 9/11, Newtown, workplace shootings personality and being a team player count more then it used to. With school kids you have the "Common core" standards coming in. Just by the name you can tell the idea is to stamp out differences. 8th grade curriculum is what the old 10th grade curriculum was. Hours of homework. Kids are not being allowed to be kids. This is causing diagnoseable problems. As for people hyping it I'm sure it it happens. But I seriously doubt that it is a widespread phenomenon. I started a thread about a month ago asking if they knew or suspected people they know are faking it. A few posters did, most did not.

Widespread or not this is the conventional wisdom now. So my advice is don't disclose unless you are really really sure. And never disclose to potential or current employers.

When I first told a few close friends I had "a mild form of autism," they laughed it off. "You autistic!" they said. "But you're too clever!" At that time I was a top student, and contrary to what experts think, I had a pretty advanced sense of humour (people said I liked "difficult" jokes which the rest who were NTs couldn't understand), and among my close friends, I was the joker. Back then, I was disheartened that they didn't understand me, but now I think about it, I am glad of it. At least it means my "abnormalities" are not so obvious. I'd rather be thought eccentric than someone with a mental disorder label - the former is a very human trait, the latter sounds like a different species.

this happens to me all of the time. at first, I tried to take it as a compliment, line maybe I don't seem like anything is "wrong with me" but f**k that. my AS makes me interesting, unique and gives me definite advantages. my boyfriend pointed out how rude it was for people to say that to me, and I started to realize that yeah, it is really f****d up. so now I tell people. I just say something along the lines of "do you understand how offensive that is? if someone is willing to open up and discuss something that may not be easy for them, and you basically tell them they are lying... how do you think that will affect that persons future relationships and confidentiality issues? just think about it"

I definitely see the positives of this, but the thing is, most of the people I know think I'm an as*hole who just hates everybody and thinks I'm the best person alive. I've gotten this reaction from people so long that, until lately, I really have believed that I was irreparably evil person, or that I need to try harder and harder and one day I'll be "good". The amount of disgust I've accumulated for myself as a result of other people disliking me is unbelievable, and if it came down to it, I would at least want people to know I'm not a dick just for the fun of it.

I'm trying to learn to not care if other people misjudge me. And if somebody wants to think that I'm just weak and pathetic and faking autism to be a special snowflake... Well, okay then.

I like your attitude.

I feel like even if I did receive a diagnosis I would still not feel "worthy" of it, so to speak, that people would think I'm trying to be a special snowflake....frustrating...

Be careful how you throw that word around. Ignorance is merely the state of not knowing, it does not denote a lack of intelligence. If a person does not know whether or not they have an inflamed appendix, then that person is ignorant of the state of his or her appendix, and should seek medical attention to find out.

ig·no·rant (adj): Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated; as in "He was told constantly that he was both ignorant and stupid".

""I don't think you have Asperger's!"

What irritates me the most is the arrogance in that. Becausy mostly it is like they saw Rain Man and read one article on Wikipedia and now they consider themselves authority on ASD? LOL.

I guess its probably cause its a spectrum and maybe you only have it a little and really mostly only you can tell. If aspergers is high functioning autism then maybe you have high functioning aspergers (which would still be aspergers)

Just like those who diagnose themselves.

For the record:

1) I have not diagnosed myself, I have identified with most symptoms of Asperger's following reading up on this for years and am seeking evaluation. Which I what I told her.

2) There is a big difference between diagnosing oneself and identifying with and suspecting ASD. Because I have not received a diagnosis I do not officially have anything; I understand. But not having a Dx doesn't mean that there is absolutely no way I have it. Thank you.

I understand your frustration though, and apologize for pushing your buttons.