asperger's and drug use

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I would very much like to hear your thoughts on the relation between asperger's (or other forms of autism) and drug use. Are aspie's more inclined to substance addictions? How do drugs affect the aspie mind? Which drugs (if any at all) work 'best' for asperger's? Tips for getting rid of addictions. Etcetera...

Some background: I am a 43-year old aspie who got his diagnosis a year ago. I've been smoking pot regularly though certainly not daily, more like some times a week. I have doing that for the last 13 years (though there were also months when I didn't smoke at all). The reason I started smoking weed is that I found it difficult to unwind and fall asleep, since my head was always spinning with thoughts. My girlfriend (now wife) suggested I smoke a little pot... which I did and I immediately fell in love with the effect marihuana had on me...

The marihuana not only relaxed me but it also greatly stimulated a certain intellectual creativity... It was as if my mind was being opened up for the very first time in my life... My impression is that the marihuana helped me to deal with certain of the mental and sensory limitations of my autism... it kind of opened me up to the world... Using pot made me feel I was in sync with the universe -- a feeling I had never known. Thanks to marihuana my productivity in writing and making music greatly increased... But then the down side kicked in: passivity, loss of short term memory, irritability (more than usual), negative emotions, negative self image etc.

My dependence on drugs was further increased when I got pain killers and muscle relaxers to deal with the pain from a hernia in 2008. De doctor prescribed Tramadol and Diazepam -- especially the Tramadol was wicked, an opioid that makes you feel extatic all over your body and greatly enhances your appreciation of music. I loved that stuff... I combined the Tramadol and Diazepam with marihuana....

Yet the down sides of those drugs were always very tangible and I decided to quit the pills... which was a hard struggle for more than a year but it succeeded... but I kept on smoking marihuana...

Recently however my emotional problems kept getting worse and felt more tired everyday. So a few days ago I decided to go clean from now on. Since I have never been a very heavy user, going cold turkey is relatively easy for me. But it's the long run I dread. I'm sure I a'm gonna miss the relaxation and mind opening effects of marihuana. Since I am a creative person (philosophy, poetry, guitar) I became dependent on pot as a creative stimulant. I am afraid that without marihuana my creativity will slow down or even disappear. I am also afraid that I may start using again after a few months... Since I always kinda 'forget' the bad sides of pot and then I say to myself 'Ah well, there is no problem in smoking a little weed once in a while'. And then before I know it I am a regular user again.

Please let me hear your thoughts on this! Also I would like to read about other experiences that aspie's or autie's in general have had with drugs.

Before I write anything: I didn't find anything regarding discussing drugs neither in the forum nor in the ToS so I suppose it is okay. If you are aware that it is not please notify me and, if you are an admin, feel free to edit my posts. I am just reporting my experience with good faith and hope it can be interesting, and as my past posts will show I don't advocate drugs or drug use, whatever their prescription and legal status.

I am very interested in those topics too, although my interest for drug is largely theoretical (= I won't test anything on myself unless I am convinced it is mostly harmless or I can have some control over it).



My use of marihuana is very sporadic (it was once every 2-3 weeks when I had some weed, currently it is more every few months when I am with some people who have) but I have found it to be a quite efficient relief for anxiety too. In the past years I have almost only used it in such a "therapeutic" way and not for partying. The main reason I never used it more often is that I just hate smoking (whatever the thing I smoke ; I can't stand the physical action of inhaling hot smoke). It sort of ruins part of the experience for me. Edible marihuana is acceptable but the effect is too long and too uncontrollable (either too weak or too strong) for my liking. (Probably some of this is also due to a lack of experience ; I imagine you can eventually learn to be more consistent in your cooking, select the best strains for you and and achieve the effect you want.)

Also I was a bit chilled by two person I know who are not autistic but have severe anxiety problems. One is about 50 years old, she is a life long intensive user, now she is completely addicted, even more anxious when she doesn't have weed, and has some quite serious paranoia issues with some sadistic and aggressive tendencies. I won't automatically blame all of it on the weed, but I am quite certain it really didn't help her become a better person in the long run. The other person is a 35 years old man who was once an extremely heavy user who barely managed to stop and could have wasted most of his life. I think it is very possible to control marihuana consumption (I know several of person who do) but just I have a doubt on if I am able to do it, and I saw some bad examples of what can happen if you can't.





I was prescribed benzos for anxiety and try to limit their use as much as possible. They are very efficient on me ; half a 0.25mg pill of alprazolam (xanax) is enough to make me go better at any time short of a full scale anxiety attack or meltdown. I enjoy the anxiety-relieving effects very much but alprazolam severely limits my energy and activity and (according to other persons) slightly alters my personality so I really don't want to take it regularly. I keep some with me at any time in case I experience severe anxiety, but those days I manage to only take some about 3 or 4 times a month. That's not often considering my anxiety issues are quite serious, but I really don't want to rely on that stuff except as a safety net.

Apart from alprazolam:
- I was prescribed diazepam (valium) once, as a background treatment and at a very low dosage. I hated it. It relieved some of the anxiety but it turned me into a robot. When I took it I didn't care about anything one way or another. And the worst is that I didn't care much about not caring, either, it seemed fine. I hate the person I was when I took that medication.
- I was given bromazepan once. I took half a pill, it removed all of my anxiety instantly, as well as most of my mental capabilities, and turned me into a happy idiot for the rest of the evening. I don't want to take it again ; this has obviously a huge potential for addiction and abuse.

I never used tramadol for anything else than what I was prescribed it for (pain relief when I had quite seriously injured myself). But I heard those minor opioids can be nasty.






One product I have found pleasant, quite efficient and innocuous is kava. It is a traditional drink from the Pacific islands obtained by macerating roots of a plant (Piper methysticum) in cold water. The effect are moderate but reliable and very pleasant ; it is a bit between benzos and alcohol, much softer than both and without the unpleasant effects of either. It has been used by pacific islander for centuries, and research has not found any physical or psychological side effect even on heavy regular drinkers. Plus, it is legal in most countries. (It used to be banned in many European countries because at some time it was believed to cause liver failure. Further studies has shown that the liver problems were caused by a sloppy manufacturing process in industrial Kava-based products: they used the whole plant, and the leaves and the root's skin contain substances toxic to the liver. Traditionally prepared kava, using only the peeled root, is safe.) I would recommend you to try it if it is legal in your area.

(The only downside, in my opinion, is that it is one of the strongest diuretic I know. Be sure to drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration, especially before sleeping.)

Thanks for your response! I found it very recognizable and the things you say about the importance of quiting marihuana strengthen me in my resolution to stop. Also thanks for your suggestion about kave -- I'd never heard about...

This may be info overload, but I'll answer honestly.

I got into a drinking habit when I was about 13 or 14, when I used to just skip school and find someone's flat to sit in to get drunk and generally smoke weed. I was a bit of a devious child and always found myself into trouble. I used to get frustrated that people didn't like the real me and they got annoyed when I said how I felt. I was constantly in trouble at school, I usually had a letter home a week about 'inappropriate behaviour'. I clashed with my dad a lot because he didn't understand me either, I didn't try to be 'naughty'. Anyway, I got expelled from my first school and my dad moved, so I got put in another school, an English medium one, which I hated and this is when I started not to care anymore, so I just turned into a terror basically.

I had my first baby at 14, which totally messed me up at the time and I chose to keep her because she filled the 'hole' in my heart. I still carried on drinking and smoking weed. I met a boy when I was 15 and he wasn't any good for me as he got me into the hard stuff and was violent. From that point, dabbled in heavier drugs, such as cocaine and speed. I was with him on and off until around my 18th birthday. I also dated lots of other boys who were into drugs and I cheated on him a lot, it got to the point where I cheated with anyone who would supply me with what I wanted, which my ex boyfriend really liked for some reason.

From March last year, I realised that I needed to turn my life around and pack in the drug-taking. I realised how selfish sniffing was making me and that it often came before thinking about my little girl. It wasn't easy, but I lost touch with most of my loser friends, but unfortunately not my ex, so I had a few slip ups. But after a loss, the birth of my youngest and dumping my ex and reporting him to the police, I'm clean. I promised my little girls that I wouldn't ever use cocaine again. Being honest, I've slipped up once since then and I feel so guilty about it.

The real life changing point was when I started a relationship with a friend of mine. He didn't use any drugs, just drunk alcohol and smoked. He really helped me to stay off them and my life turned from being a careless kid, into being a proper mother. I'm not with him anymore, as he passed away 3 days ago, as much as that breaks me, I will always know that he made me into a better person, which was a really good thing because I can be a better mum to my children. I still drink occasionally though.

I'm sorry if this is really dull for you all to read. I'm often told that my posts are dull and ranty on other forums.

Wow, that's quite a heartbreaking story!... And don't worry it's not dull at all and you are certainly not ranting... I appreciate and truly respect your sincerity in telling your life's story... Good luck with your life as a mum and I wish you lots of strength in staying away from drugs and booze...

Sometimes meeting the right person is all the difference you need to turn your life around. I'm so sorry to hear your friend passed away!

Thank you for your kind words. We were engaged when he passed away and to be honest, I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact I won't see him again in this life time. But he was so kind and lovely; the reason why I'm not dealing with his death with drink and drugs is him, however weird that sounds.

the only habit I ever had a problem with was chocolate, I was majorly into it in my late teens, I managed to quit cold turkey after finding from a doctor it wa going to hut me. I have not done any illegal substances and I have never smoked nor do I have an alcohol problem (I drink possibly 4 drinks a month)

I do have a major dysfunctional problem with many pharmaceuticals though - my body reacts very badly to medications.

so - I don't think addictiveness is absolutely a part of being AS

Anything in excess can be bad. Being autistic makes us extreme people; meaning we have the propensity to desire a lot of anything we enjoy and none of the things we don't. I too had to break myself of alcohol and xanax years ago. Pot is fine in moderation, no more dangerous than chocolate in moderation. Just do what you know is best for you; sounds like you're on the path already.

Not weird at all. Your kids have a very tough mom, it's gonna sound crazy but I think you'll all be just fine.

Since I'm stunned by the clarity and honesty here, I'll go ahead with my story.

I live in the hippie capitol of the American Midwest; Boulder Colorado. Cannabis is very helpful, yes, but not for the reasons everyone might assume - THC, the primary psychotropic in cannabis, also possesses most of its' narcotic effects. Whole strains, extractions or just certain growing techniques yield compounds like cannabinol or cannabidiol, which help with pain releif, anxiety, sleep and even some cancers. I have my MMJ license and I'm pretty critical of anything I consume, although that hasn't done much in the face of my curiosity before. Half my friends are ravers, the rest are coders or hippies. I'm all three. I'm also intrigued by hallucinogens, especially since I agree with the hypothesis that A.S. means natural lysergamide production in the brain. I've also enjoyed Salvia, psilocybin, and quite a number of very interesting herbs. To be honest, I've found natural remedies for basically all my symptoms regarding HFA.

What can I say? I learned a lot of JavaScript on mushrooms

It's an interesting question that has been raised many times on these boards.
Are we more prone to experimentation?
Do we self-medicate to be more social and less self-conscious?
Is there just a bit of self-pity in getting very stoned?

While individual stories are interesting, I think these are serious questions we ASpies need to ponder.

If most "aspies" & those with HFA are as curious as I am, then I'd say yes . I'm very curious, and from a young age always knew I'd "experiment" with drugs. With that said, I waited until I was older, I didn't touch any drug until I was out of High school, and I approach these sorts of things logically and safely, I do a lot of reading and research into any drug before try it, so I have knowledge of what it's actually doing in my body. I suppose one of my areas of "special interests" is altered states of consciousness, and psychoactive plants/chemicals.






I "self medicate" depending on the situation & setting. But yes, generally I self medicate for social interaction with cannabis and kratom, which dulls down some of my hyper-sensitivities, makes me feel more "grounded", my thoughts flow into words better, I can be more focused and less distracted. I feel cognitively stimulated, but calm and at ease at the same time...I've also used amphetamines for certain occasions, they really get me "out of my head", they allow me to feel like an actual participant in the world rather than a passive observer.







For myself, I don't think so. When I'm feeling down, depressed, or self pity, I don't like to smoke or use anything that's going to pull me away from that. There's usually a reason I'm feeling that way and I see no point in artificially covering that up or using something to escape from those sorts of feelings.

Now if it's anxiety, feeling stressed, feeling like I'm going to have a break down...then yes, I'll utilize something like cannabis, or kava, or kratom, to take the edge off. With my normal regimen of herbs, though, I'm able to keep such things in check for the most part.

I don't like to get "very stoned" anyways. Getting really stoned could very well bring about more anxiety and a cloudy mind, the opposite of what I'm using the herb for. There's a wide variety of uses when it comes to cannabis, depending on the strain and the amount smoked or ingested. I smoke daily, but not a lot, literally a piece of weed about the size of a pea, to the size of a small marble, is how much I smoke in an entire day. But sure, there are times that I like to get really high and smoke more than I normally do, usually when I'm doing something outdoors in nature. There's a time and place for everything.





I see drugs as tools, simple as that, and that's how drugs/psychoactive plants have been used by humans for thousands of years, until relatively recent times. Just as a tool can be utilized and used safely in the hands of someone that knows what they're working with, that same tool can cause harm and damage in the hands of someone that doesn't know what they're working with....A drug can be used safely in the hands of someone that has knowledge of what they're working with, and potentially causing harm in the hands of someone that doesn't. There are different applications and uses for different drugs, 99% of the time I take a "drug" it's not merely to get "high" on and "escape" .

As far as addiction goes...I don't believe addiction is in the drug itself, but rather addiction lays in the person, why the person is using the drug, the persons relationship with the drug, and generally a persons lack of self control. I've never had problems with addiction to anything besides coffee (even with occasionally using things that are considered "highly addictive" such as opioids, cigarettes, amphetamines, etc...), but if I did become addicted I would put the blame on my self, and not the drug, I'd be the one that allowed myself to fall into addiction.

Last edited by Soham on 02 Mar 2014, 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm curious, could you elaborate a bit more on your hypothesis of lysergamide production in the brains of those with AS?...send me a PM if you want, to not go off topic of the thread.

I can relate though. I am particularly intrigued by psychedelics as well, my primary area of interest with active compounds is psychedelics and psychoactive plants/fungi/cactus. I have experience with mushrooms, LSD, mescaline, DMT, and other more obscure psychedelic & dissociative compounds. I usually have a "trip" once every couple months or so, just a few times a year. I also take mdma once or twice a year.

I too have found, and use, a variety of plants/herbs that help with some of the "issues" that arise from being on the spectrum....and for myself, they work far better and with far less side effects than the pharmaceuticals that would be prescribed for the same issues.

I find psychedelics, the experience they catalyze, to mesh well with my curious mind....and they've provided me with a lot of self healing, a platform of self analyzation/reflection that I don't think could be brought about in any other way. This might sound silly or "druggy" like to those that are not familiar with the experience, but psychedelics are an integral part of my life and who I am. I believe they hold a tremendous amount of beneficial potential for individuals, and humanity/society as a whole.

I don't think there's any reason to believe we are more vulnerable to addictions than most.

We might be more prone to self-medicating, though, because we are more likely to get anxiety, depression, and ADHD, all of which are things that are associated with a greater risk of drug abuse.

On the other hand, we're also rule-followers, which makes it far less likely that we'll try illegal drugs, just because that's the rule. My guess is that if Aspies get addicted to something, it'll probably be alcohol or cigarettes or something else that's legal where you are. It takes too much social maneuvering to secure a supply of most illegal drugs.

(Important distinction here between drug use, drug abuse, and drug addiction: The difference between drinking wine with dinner, drinking yourself into a stupor, and drinking so much that you need it to wake up in the morning. Drug use is not actually a problem, just by itself--not unless the drug is so dangerous that even one exposure constitutes abuse... like, sniffing glue? Yeah, don't do that if you value your brain.)

And many of us may simply not need drugs, because we can induce altered states of consciousness by focusing on a special interest or even by simply zoning out while stimming.

A bigger threat than drugs for someone with AS and depression or anxiety would be the threat of retreating so much into one's special interest that useful activity is no longer possible--instead of using a special interest for enjoyment and recreation, we may use it to escape from the world and shirk our responsibilities. NTs do this, too, of course, but for them it's often hanging out with friends, rather than a special interest, that they prioritize over their responsibilities. Learning to avoid that is just part of learning how to balance the benefits of a special interest with the drawbacks of getting too absorbed in it.... Like, say, if you forget to shower and sleep, you're buried too deep and it's time to come up for air!

Not all of us.

I have tried quite a few drugs...I had a period of time when I was 20 where I constantly did a lot of drugs(at the time I thought it was all recreation and I was just trying to have fun but looking back I think there was a lot of self medicating going on because I felt like crap even though I was in denial about feeling like crap...so yeah being on drugs sort of covered up how I was really feeling. I was trying at college and not doing well and dropped out...had great plans with 'friends' I made who just ended up using me in the end.

After that I mostly drank and smoked cannabis, had a few periods of abusing alcohol....and now I drink occasionally, smoke cannabis more often than I drink and I can't say I'd never do anything else again...the curiosity and enjoyment of past experiences has not gone away, but I have no intention of doing what I did for that period of time when I was 20 and constantly taking whatever drugs I could get my hands on.

+1

I've had definite periods where I was doing things with drugs I definitely should not have been doing. There was one 3 month period where I used waaaaayyyy too many synthetic cannabinoids, back before the original ones weren't illegal. Just had a big 5 gram container of one, and a 2 gram container of another, and used way too much of both. Definitely the worst drugs I've ever done too much of.

Then there was alcohol, which I got way into and drank a lot every day for like two months, but I got over it and now enjoy just the occasional (maybe 2 times a month) drink.

All I do now is smoke cannabis, and 3-4 times a year I will trip. My life wouldn't be as good as it is now without the realizations and self-analysis psychedelics have provided me. I'd be living a totally different horrible life. Not that I recommend people do any drugs, haha.