Escaping to deal with loneliness

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Does anyone here ever use an escape, in order to dear with loneliness? You know, like you lose yourself in the world of a good book or TV show, just to ease your pain? When I was in high school, I had a hard time making friends and finding dates, so on Thursday nights, I always looked forward to watching "Friends." I used to imagine that they were my friends or boyfriends, just so I wouldn't feel lonely. Now, I'm going through the same thing. I've just ended a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend, who also has Asperger's. I wanted things that he wasn't ready for, like having him move in with me, and maybe settling down and having a family. He didn't understand that these things were important to me. So now, I'm losing myself in the world of my new favorite show, "The Big Bang Theory." They are hilarious! "Penny! Penny! Penny!" But seriously, I've been imagining that they are either my friends or boyfriends, just to deal with my relationship ending. I've been imagining that Leonard is my boyfriend. Love him! He has all the qualities I desire in a man: Handsome, smart, funny, and kind. And most of all, someone who loves me as much as he and Penny love each other. My last boyfriend had very limited interests: Bowling and diving. The conversations were very limiting, since bowling isn't that intricate a game, and he couldn't tell me anything about diving, except about the gear. I wanted to know what kind of things he saw when he was down there, but he couldn't, since he didn't do well enough in school to go to college. I want someone more like Leonard, who is educated and well-rounded. I want someone I can have real conversations with, and who can use words like paradigm, and explain to me what it means. I want someone who has various interests, and who can tell me about them. For example, Leonard likes to play chess. There's something I'd want to know about. And I want someone who won't just wear baggy sweats, but who will also dress up for me, and buy me flowers and take me to dinner. I want someone who will have enough sense to attend to me when I have a problem. Whenever I was feeling sad, the best my ex could do was say, "I heard you cry." He didn't know enough to come and comfort me. I had to ask him to hug me. I know that's not his fault, but I do want things that he couldn't offer. So, I'm trying to cope by imagining that I'm with someone who doesn't exist. Has anyone ever done this?

Yes I do this. I think it is a quite common technique for ASD and NT people.

Yes, especially at night and even more-so if my whole family is asleep. I will have streams playing in the background of whatever I'm doing on the computer, to stimulate people talking around me in real time. If my 'internet friends' are online then perhaps I'll play games with them as the typing in-game and speaking on Mumble servers helps to make me feel less lonely in the same way a stream would.

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

I think this is why I like going out on long rides and road tripping - in my case to try to cauterize the aching part. Miles of blacktop can roll by and while it's nicer to have someone to share the experience it's not a requisite. When I get into playing a musical piece on an instrument it can be a Walter Mitty trip for a while where for a moment all those timeless sessions of miming with a broom or a tennis racquet all pay off at a mega concert or crucial recording session, then (ugh) reality sets in and I remember I'm a human jukebox with not nearly enough arms and legs to pull off the performance properly. Maybe the reason I keep the radio on a talk station 24/7 like my 'crazy' grandfather did is just to have other people's voices around me

Not me, sister! I've been in hospital for the last 4 weeks and had my own room all to myself and it's been WONDERFUL. I never go out of my room. I never want to leave my room and mix with the other patients. I just wish I could have a place of my own back in the real world. A cat would be alright.

This issue came up the other night where someone was saying we get so absorbed in our special interests as a way of distracting from the loneliness. I've always had special interests even before I knew about mixing with other kids and now I'm grown up, I find people an unwelcome interruption to my life. I don't want people. I don't miss people. I prefer my own company. Just the three of us. Me, myself and I!! !

I don't think I ever get lonely. And there are lots of times I'm happy sitting and doing nothing. But at the same time time I get a lot of comfort from immersing myself into another world with a book or TV series (especially one on Netflix) and the like.

i never feel lonely. i do not think that i need anyone else's being to understand me or approve of me. other people's blood runs through only their own veins. my blood is my own and i am happy to be me because it feels good. god loves me. i am happy as well.

other people are outside my domain, and i can never calculate why other people feel as they do.