Anyone else afraid of an aspie backlash

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After watching news shows about Cho, I am really worrying about things. I tend to be a loner, even avoid people (because I don't trust them). I do occosionally, so I am not quite as bad as he was, but so often there will even be people in the room with my roommate and I won't talk to any of them. I don't really like my roommate this year (didn't get much of a choice in the matter) and hardly ever talk to him either.

I am worrying that I might be targeted by other students at school and the school itself. If enough students and staff started worrying about me, could they get me suspended, probably won't happen in the one week remaining but next year, or mayterm, or summer if I take a class it could. The weird thing is, so many more people have tried talking to me this week then ever before, could they think I am decending down this path, should I try to be more friendly with them to avoid the backlash? Even my mom is worrying that I may be a threat to myself and others... thats when you know its bad.

Remains to be seen. Maybe I'm too much of an optimist, but after Columbine I thought that there would be a decline in bullying and whatnot due to kids realizing that it could blow up in their faces. For some reason that same unfortunate sense of optimism is floating around again. I must be a moron.

If they are talking to you, use this opportunity to reassure them that you're not going to do the same by being polite and optimistic, or at least interested, but in no way saying (between the lines, as they call it) "I'm stepping away from you guys because I don't trust you at all"

As for the backlash, I'm not worried for my area. I'm all the way in NZ, and while this has been pretty hard-hitting here too, I don't think it'll be as affecting here as it will be in America.

Wildman,

Yeah, that isn't very smart. Bullies are IDIOTS! They do NOT think! You're lucky if they can even READ!

Endersdragon,

A LOT of parents are that way. ALSO, if they think you are faking, or can hide it, they may act that way to get you to change. I HOPE there is no backlash. I have lately realized that I DON'T look people in the eyes. EVEN when I appear to, and am looking in that direction, I am STILL not looking there. Luckily, I try to act somewhat normal. I doubt anyone would think I am dangerous in any way.

Still, WHO KNOWS? People DO suspect I just stay in my room, etc... My home is in a family area. Most people have kids, and they probably average around 10. My neighbors may suspect I NEVER leave, etc...

Steve

I found this the case with the bullies I knew. Most couldn't think. They tended to have some of the worst grades in the class. One I knew was probably even "borderline ret*d." Most are likely in jail or dead.

Another class of bullies tended to be those girls who claimed to know all the answers to life. They came across as pseudo-worldly. Many of them dropped out of high school because they got pregnant.

Ender,

People are idiots. The warning signs in the Cho case were his violent writings, stalking and aggressive behavior in class, not that he kept to himself and had few friends. Still, just to ease their minds try exchanging pleasantries with them once or twice a day just to let them know you're "normal." A simple "hello" or "what's up" every now and then is all they're really looking for.

I have been in exactly that situation before and I know how much it sucks. Good luck!

From what I have seen so far it is Korean culture and not autism or AS that is in the spotlight.

Are you angry and hostile? Or are you maybe just a little frustrated with life?

Tell mom you are not a phychopath, you are not angry or hostile. Sometimes you have a hard time expressing your feelings appropreately, but you are not delusional, vindictive or "crazy". Tell her that while you know she worries about you, it hurts your feelings that she does not understand that about you.

Being a loner does not make you a killer. it just means you are "content" to be along. Point out to her how you want to "help" people, and go out of your way, in your own way to do so. You don't want to blow up schools, shoot peoples heads off, or harm anyone. Again, tell her that is hurtful she would think such things.

As for school, just be careful that you don't say "scary things" to people. I have heard of men who talk to women, and in trying to seek attention, will say things like "ever thought how you would feel being tyed up against your will" or "I have a gun". And walk off, enjoying the chaos they know they cause.

Be pleasent, quiet, aloof, yourself. I would not go out of your way to behave "differently". If people talk to you, do what you can to "at least particicpate a little". Just exchange a few pleasentries, and that is all. "hows the weather eh?" "not bad, sun is really shining!" "yup". I don't see the need to go a lot further then that...

As for the school, I don't think it is a worry. Are you writting manifestos or saying scary stuff to people? Or are you just by yourself most of the time? Do you have a track record of violence? Strange encounters documented by the administration? If anyone asks you from the school side if you are "ok" tell them yes, and ask why they ask. If they say that it is because you seem so quiet, then perhaps, with the staff, tell them about why you are quiet (neurological) and that you have a hard time fitting in, don't really want to, it is not that you are angry or hostile, or don't like other people, you are just an introvert. They should accept that.

I definitely fear a backlash.

Tim

In my humble opnion if theres going to be a backlash against anything then it should be against Americas moronic gun laws, but that's for another thread methinks.

Not sure how things will work out stateside, though I obviously don't want to see innocent Aspies/Auties getting ostracised. From my side of the pond, I wouldn't expect there to be much of a backlash against any Aspies here in England. Most of the British population is too caught up in their own affairs to pay any attention to anybody else, let alone those of us who keep well out of the way of things.

If there is a backlash, it should be toward the Asian attitude that mental illness is a stigma to be hidden.

Ender, you need to practice superficial social courtesy in order not to annoy or alarm other people. Social pleasantries are for the benefit of others, not for your benefit. If you live with people in a dorm or roomate situation, you owe them politeness.

Not all loners are "content" with being alone.

Not too afraid of a backlash. There wasn't one after Columbine, won't be one here.

I actually don't tell anyone I personally know about my Asperger's. Most people are unable to notice it in me, and I would like to keep it that way. People just can't understand what it is, and then they'll start thinking I'm ret*d. I've had my share of that crap when I was younger.

So yes, the backlash, IMO, is happening right now, and it is very real because people misunderstand it. If it's not acceptance, it must be backlash is my opinion pretty much.

Just smile, say "hi" and wave hi with your hand in passing. Might be a bit dorky but better that others think we're slightly doofy than mass murderers.

Other people just want acknowledgement and reassurance that they've been seen and greeted. Most are far too busy and self-absorbed to actually want to engage in conversation. They just want the quick "normal" pleasantries. It's easy. Imagine yourself as an actor; practice in front of the mirror, flap "hi" until it's second nature. Then you're free to pursue your own interests without other ppl worrying.

Loners are always hated by society. It even happens in animal packs. This is one thing that's never going to change.

You're right about how it should be against attitudes against differences. The Americans get blasted for being against differences even though regarding race, etc..., they tend to be MORE tolerant.

Practicing superficial social courtesy IS a good idea, but it should be limited. I HAVE to talk to some people, etc.... and yet almost dread it. Some will talk your ears off given half a chance, and I am not good at terminating a conversation.

Steve