finding out you had ASD as an adult

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I finally started to suspect that I was on the spectrum in April 2012 in May the same year I joined Wrong Planet.
In March 2013 I got my formal diagnosis.

This has totally changrd how I see people with Autism.

I will be 40 this year.

My question is to those diagnosed has finding out you are on the spectrum changed how you see Autism?

To everyone eles on the board do you find it hard to believe that people can walk around most of their lives not knowing?

I always knew I was different, but never suspected autism until reading about my nephew's diagnosis when I was 55. suddenly, things made more sense.

I wouldn't have known the autism spectrum properly without my diagnosis.

It's made me more aware that that the spectrum included a lot more than it is perceived in the media.

Same goes for my diagnosed Tourette's

I got my Aspergers diagnosis 2 years ago and Tourette's last year

I knew somewhat about ASD before my diagnosis, because I spent a couple of years lurking this place, but since being diagnosed, I've now sort of become obsessed with the need to know more information on ASD xD

So yes, I guess I do know more that I'm diagnosed.

I have always had social problems (still do). But for all my life. I thought it was something I hadn't learn and needed to practice on. I would have never guest in my wildest dreams that it might be autism. It literally took a psychiatrist walking up to me and telling me I had aspergers and even at first, I never believed it. But after I started doing some research on it, I was in for the shock of my life. I am happy to know about whats been troubling me all my life but not happy knowing that there is no cure.

Before someone emailed me a link to a webarticle about Asperger Syndrome and said "Read This, It Sounds Like You," I really did not have a clear idea what autism was and hadn't given it any serious thought.

I had seen an item on television back in the very early 80s about autistic kids, and I remember watching them stim and rock and bang their heads and the reporter asked one of the doctors why they did those things and the researcher replied "We really don't know that yet," and sitting at home in front of the television I said aloud "Ask me, I know why they do it."

I knew very well that those behaviors were the result of life being too intense, too much sensory input all crashing in at once, at maximum volume - though I don't know that I could have explained it that succinctly at the time, I knew beyond any doubt whatever those kids were suffering from, I experienced every day of my life. But the kids in that story all had intellectual impairments as well and I didn't, so I wasn't sure what the connection was and pretty much went on with my life and didn't give it any further thought, except when someone I was conversing with would get irritated with my constant swaying from side to side and say "You're making me seasick, what are you, autistic!?" and I'd say "Yeah, I think maybe so - lil' bit."

So when the pieces all finally fell into place, it was like a spiritual epiphany. Autism! THAT'S who I am! It just made so much sense. I wasn't the uncooperative, annoying, stubborn, oddball loser I'd been accused of being all my life - I had actual brain damage and it was a medically recognized, diagnosable disorder. Maybe I should have been upset about that, but after 45 years (when I first discovered what AS was), it was actually quite a relief. It wasn't my fault. I'd known that all along, but here was proof. In Your Face, Neurotypical World!



It's not hard for me to believe, 'cause that's exactly what happened to me, but I think it's tragic that it's happening to thousands of people at this very minute.

I went through the school system in the 60s and 70s, and in the 60s, there were only 2 types of kids - normal kids and ret*ds. Either you kept up with the rest of the students, or you got put in a remedial class with the kids who were never expected to amount to anything, because they were too dumb. It was only in the mid 1970s that school professionals began to recognize handicaps like Dyslexia and ADD, but there was still no mention of anything like High Functioning Autism. Being a geek or a nerd was a social designation, not a learning disability. There's no telling how many of our generation are still plodding miserably through their lives with no idea why they have never experienced the kinds of stability in careers and relationships that their peers seem to achieve so effortlessly.

Between the time I first read about AS and the time I was diagnosed (about 2 years), I tried several times to find a former coworker of mine, whom I strongly suspected was also likely an Aspergian Autistic, thinking that he, too, might find this information to be personally cathartic, but he had mysteriously fallen completely off the grid. His email address was no longer valid, his profile had disappeared from the website of the last radio station I'd known him to be affiliated with and no search turned up the slightest hint of his whereabouts or current activities.

Less than a year after I'd been diagnosed, I got an email from another former coworker who had received notification from the man's (former) wife through Facebook - his career, like mine, had finally petered out, he didn't have the social connections to find another job in his field, and his age and lack of experience in any other profession left him virtually unemployable. After nearly two years of joblessness, his wife had divorced him and depression, anxiety and the prospect of homelessness had led him to despair and suicide. If I had found him in time, and he had been diagnosed, he would have at least been able to file for disability.

Asperger Syndrome was only added to the Diagnostic Manual in 1994, so anyone born before that could easily be struggling, as we speak, with the handicaps of autism and have no idea why their life is so difficult. They're probably being told by their families, their teachers and their employers, just as I was, that their difficulties are all their own fault, and if they'd just change who they are, and stop being so damned difficult and weird, everybody would accept them and all their problems would be solved. Only they can't change who they are, because they can't change the configuration of their brain.

That is very sad about your former co worker.

I'm not diagnosed and probably never will be, too old to bother and likely subclinical, but my life makes a lot more sense when viewing it through the lens of autism. I lived more than 50 years before I discovered how much of my life this explained. The greatest benefit for me is that I no longer spend time and energy trying to be like everyone else. Much less anxiety.

Before I found out I'm probably on the spectrum, all I knew about autism was what I saw in movies, and all I knew about aspergers was that it was somehow related to autism.

The first few weeks after my realization, I read obsessively about autism and learned a lot about it. I've come to realize that the view of autism I had, which came from movies, was very stereotypical and didn't give a complete view of what autism really was.

I've learned that autism symptoms can be much more subtle than the media portrays and that the media seems to focus on the more severe cases.

Now, looking at my life from a standpoint that I am autistic, my live makes so much sense. I feel much more comfortable with my differences.

Yes. While I was diagnosed pretty young, no one ever explained anything to me or even broached the subject. Now I'm floundering with things now, that could have been more suitably dealt with decades ago.

Of course, I'm a very different person now so who knows for certain.

If I had never been diagnosed with Asperger's in my mid-20's I don't know where I'd be now. Dead, maybe. Or worse, locked up in a home for the severely mentally unstable due to a nervous breakdown, which would be ironic, because just having to be there would have *caused* me to have a breakdown. Or in prison. When I was diagnosed it was hard to believe there was a name for my unusual behavior especially when everyone around me dismissed it as purely behavior and blamed is naturally on my mother, but when I learned more about Asperger's - mostly with help from my mother who learned as much as she could mostly from the internet - it was like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle suddenly just falling into their correct places. I like to think that's why a puzzle pattern is the symbol of autism awareness because that's what I thought before I even knew that's what it was. But if I had been diagnosed in my childhood or even my teen years -especially my teen years- I might have had a lot less problems.

I could be the only person diagnosed with Asperger's where I live, for I know. Almost no one else has a clue what it is and I have to even explain it to psychiatrists- I have to see a new one every couple of years at least- and I don't think they want to believe I have it even though the doctor I'm currently seeing noticed things like how I don't always make eye contact and always dress casually on my visits.

I did not know what was wrong with me as a child. I tried so hard, but somehow, I figured,not hard enough. Or,I thought, maybe I was so butt ugly that people could somehow not help but despising me.[ BTW, I was actually adorable]

Moving to a new home is usually difficult for anyone, especially Autistics. Not for me though. Every time we moved it was my new chance to "get it right." I knew this time THIS TIME it would be different. But it wasn't.

My body bloomed late. When it did bloom, it grew into something more like a caraicature of a womans body.It was not long after that I discovered the power of the presentation. It was nice to sortof fit in. It was repulsive to me to fit in for reasons that were so nothing compared to being kind and nice.

Decades passed. Youngest son was born. Like me he was "decidedly different." [ one of others as well, but I had no idea, as to me he seemed more than "normal." at the time because he was not nearly as weird as me] My sons' psychiatrist spoke to me about both my son and I getting tested [ Kaiser psychiatrists do not diagnose autism.they refer]About the time we were scheduled to get tested is when my son first became ill. The only reason I was still interested in getting diagnosed was to see if my "different type brain" was related to my sons' illness and if that might help my son.

Because of that, getting diagnosed meant nothing more than " so could this information somehow be of use to help alleviate my sons' suffering."' It didn't, so, actually the diagnosis process meant nothing more than a waste of time when I could have been possibly finding "the thing" that could help my son.

I was 46 when I was formally diagnosed. I am now 49. As a child I knew that I was different from the other children, but I didn't know why. I knew that I was either ignored or bullied. I usually could only handle having one friend at a time. In high school I probably had the emotional maturity of a ten year old. My wife says that I have all the maturity of an 18 year old. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
I was left relatively alone a child by my family. They seemed to have no problem with my special interests. They knew I wasn't very social and preferred to be alone. I could wear the same clothes every day. I had quite a selection of jeans and flannel shirts. My stimming didn't seem to bother anyone.
However, adulthood was completely different. Suddenly, I was expected to conform. I wasn't even allowed to hold cutlery or pens the way I wanted. I'm ambidextrous, and people didn't even like that. I eventually fell into extreme depression and my moods were quite labile. I even entertained ideas of suicide. I though I had completed lost my mind. I don't really like to be touched. People at church wanted to touch and hug all the time. I thought it was creepy.
Four years ago my wife and her best friend were having a conversation about me...again. They knew a young woman who had AS. They remarked that this woman and me had some of the same characteristics and said similiar things. I suppose it was an epiphany for them. My wife gave me the AQ test one morning. I scored quite high 170/200. I had a lot of trouble at first but it got better. I gave myself permission just to be me. I really didn't care what others thought anymore. I ditched my fake Christian "friends" and eventually quit church. I so no reason to conform to their expectations and they apparently resented my individuality. Making friends is difficult for me, but when I do, I am intensely loyal to them. However, if they betray my trust, my loyalty begins to fade. One friend constantly used sarcasm. I took everything he said literally but found that he said things he really didn't mean. That was the beginning of the end of the friendship.
Sometimes the AS gets in the way. My literalness (is that a real word?), my inability to read nonverbal communication, my bluntness and intolerance of lying can be difficult for other people. I am very curious about the world around me. I learned how to make AS work for me.
Today, I'm Aspie, atheist and proud.

Back when I was in boarding school. I had a friend, the only true friend I ever had in school ever. We would get in are swimsuits and go play in the fountain in the courtyard in the evening. Even though we where 16 years old, we would act like a couple of 3 year old's playing in a kiddy pool. Anyways, when I found out that I had aspergers. I decided to try and contact him. When I finally got a hold of his parents, They broke the bad news to me that he had committed suicide then he was 23. That really hurt badly considering the fact that I believed that he had AS too. BTW: his parents are millionaires and own a company so money was never an issue for him.

I am 34 and only found in the last 1-2 years that I may have AS. Doc said she thinks I do and referred me to a clinic to get a diagnosis but I never went along.

Can any of you tell me what benefits you thought getting a diagnosis would bring and what benefits you now have from it? I only felt it would be a negative thing but i am wondering if I was wrong now

I am 34 and only found in the last 1-2 years that I may have AS. Doc said she thinks I do and referred me to a clinic to get a diagnosis but I never went along.

Can any of you tell me what benefits you thought getting a diagnosis would bring and what benefits you now have from it? I only felt it would be a negative thing but i am wondering if I was wrong now